Being bullied :(

Former Member

Hi

I'm in a really stressful situation and its really getting me down.

Over the last few weeks my manager has been really having a go at me, she brings the same old stuff up again and again and is calling me into her office at least once at a day. It all started when I tried to stand up to her (I'm not a very assertive person).

Every day I get home from work and I'm exhaused, my head is killing me and I'm usually in tears or feeling like self harm a lot.

I cant leave because I have bills and stuff to pay for and my other half isn't working.

I can't cope though, any ideas on coping stratagies

Phoenix

Former Member

Rainbow Phoenix wrote:

Hi

I'm in a really stressful situation and its really getting me down.

Over the last few weeks my manager has been really having a go at me, she brings the same old stuff up again and again and is calling me into her office at least once at a day. It all started when I tried to stand up to her (I'm not a very assertive person).

Every day I get home from work and I'm exhaused, my head is killing me and I'm usually in tears or feeling like self harm a lot.

I cant leave because I have bills and stuff to pay for and my other half isn't working.

I can't cope though, any ideas on coping stratagies

Phoenix

What kind of stuff is she pulling you up for?

Former Member

does she just seem to target you or is it other members of staff too? no doubt she didn't appreciate being stood upto and it seems she's getting you back for it but good on you for sticking up for yourself. is there a manager higher up than her who you could talk too? sorry, i'm not much help really.

Former Member

unfortunately its just me. My other team members have noticed as have customers at work.

Its trivial stuff. she had a go at me for me for getting behind with some paperwork however my team mate was absent and she'd introduced some new rules which made it longer to do do the paperwork. Others were behind too.

Then today it was cos my desk wasnt tidy yet other staffs desks werent tidy too and she can talk!!!

Phoenix

Former Member

is there someone in a higher position than the prick? you need to explain to this person how you feel, and apoligise for the backlogs etc. be precise the words that you say. try to evoke the persons feelings. how? by letting the person sympathise with you. this person probably knows how hard it can be in a working environment, and the person couldve gone through the same shit youre going through now. so try to use the words "pressure" or "depressing". then turn the situation around. tell the person how the 'attention' that the prick is giving you aint helping you at work, in fact it is even hampering your efficiency, such as it is.

have some respect for yourself.

Former Member

If you are in a big company then you need to go higher than her, or go to your personell dept.
If not, then find out if you are part of a union (not totaly sure how they work)
speak to the citizens advice bureau as well.

It might seem like the hardest option, but tell your manager that what they are doing is wrong. You should not be made to suffer because of them.
And if you end up leaving, then the same could happen to some one else.

Im sorry this is happening to you and hope that everything gets sorted out as quickly as possible.

Former Member

You need to go to the person above your line manager, and discuss the problem with them.

Where do you work? If your company has a trade union representative then have a quiet word with them, most shop stewards will be more than willing to give some advice even if you're not a member.

If you complain higher up the company and get nowhere, then contact ACAS and discuss your rights with them. ACAS are an impartial work advice, rights and mediation service, and can be contacted on 08457 47 47 47 between 8am and 6pm Monday to Friday.

Former Member

From our archive of askTheSite questions

Bullying boss

Former Member

thanks for your answers

the person who is treating me like this is the manager of the office I work in. The problem is she is busom buddies with the head of personnel. The head of personnel then soaks up all the bad stuff she does before it gets through to the main manager, who is based in another office anyway so doesnt get to see whats going on. The last time anyone went directly to the main manager my boss made his life a misery.

Theres no protocol (sp) or organisation. Apparently when you are given an official warning you have to have someone there as a witness. I never knew that as its never been done in that place.



Phoenix

Former Member

Are you a member of a union? If so talk to them about it, if not join one! Your bosses behaviour is unaceptable, if you feel unable to stand up for yourself, then a representative from the union will do it for you. They can also help with advice and councelling etc. If your boss sacks you because of the union, sue. Her behaviour is unacceptable. Also try keeping a diary of what exactly she says or does to you. Its all evidence!