I lost with my ex last night!

Former Member

So, I was sitting in the college bar by myself n my ex comes over n invites me to sit with her friends...she ignored me the whole time, her n her mates took over the pool table (even tho she knew I had a game down - by this time someone else I knew had come for a game), she flirted with someone right in my face and at the end she left off without inviting me to whereever she was goin (even tho I had done this a few nights previous). We have only be broken up for a week n a bit and I have tried my best to be friendly (she lives in the same halls so it is impossible to avoid her) but last night I confronted and asked if she wanted to be friends still...I was drunk so then I started screaming and shouting. Going back to my room, I knew I shouldnt have done that so I phoned her up and apoligised to her in town in person...she probably thought I was weird for walking 2 miles just to do that..

The problem is, is that I still feel really bad and weird...n I really dont know how to resolve it....does she really want to be friends with me? She has been taking the piss recently...for example a few nights ago, she was sending off all the signals that she liked me...well as more than a friend...she looked like she wanted to tell me something (I know every time) but she didnt. I really dont know how to act around her after this..

Former Member

You can't be friends with your ex straight away. It'll never work. You both need time to clear your head and establish where you stand with one another. Yes, you may live near one another but that doesn't mean you need to hang out or be anything more than civilised with each other should you bump into her. Give yourselves time to heal.

Former Member

well she the one inviting me over to sit with her n her mates, she's the one inviting herself over to my room to tease me and look at pictures of our recent holiday (which almost made me cry)....n when I mean we live near other...I mean 30 seconds!

Former Member

sorry dude but shes a bitch. shes been nothing but nasty to you since the breakup, so screw her! get with someone under her nose, and rub her nose in it!

Former Member

Jim_b wrote:

well she the one inviting me over to sit with her n her mates, she's the one inviting herself over to my room to tease me and look at pictures of our recent holiday (which almost made me cry)....n when I mean we live near other...I mean 30 seconds!

So when she invites you to sit with her, say no... when she invites herself round say you're busy... what's the problem?

Former Member

Some girls (and probably guys) do this after a break up... they enjoy the attention they received in the relationship and continue to enjoy it. It's really cruel but they are probably just enjoying it. Best thing tgo do, however hard it is, is just say no for a while. Give yourself space. You can not see someone when they only live 30 seconds away, it's probably going to be tough and there will be the odd encounter but if you keep seeing her your feelings won't go away and she'll just 'feed' off your attention and use it gain a huge ego, all the while she's probably enjoying the spoils of singledom.

Former Member

I have been tempted to get with someone right under her nose but I realise that would make me just as bad as her...plus I really do not want to hurt somebody else's feelings just to serve my own personal motives...i.e pissing the ex off...I would like to think she's a bitch but when that person has treated you like God when in a relationship I find it hard to accept the way I am being treated now...n the fact is, I know she is confused and she still has feelings for me...I am sure the way she is acting is just a mechanism to hide those feelings...for example, when we're alone in my room, she had my cushion on my shoulder and then she was leaning on my shoulderw with it.. later on, I was reading something and she had her chin on my shoulder for a while..she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek...she was biting her nails (she does this every time she wants to tell me something important)..I am sure she just acts weird around her mates to show to them it is really over...I just feel what I did last night has really made her bugger off once and for all...in my heart, I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing

Former Member

don't get someone else just to rub her nose in it; thats just childish.
relationships do mess up your feelings a bit... but now its over... let it go... otherwise she'll keep treating you like this and messing with your emotions... which in the long run isn't going to do you any good!

Former Member

Jim_b wrote:

I have been tempted to get with someone right under her nose but I realise that would make me just as bad as her...plus I really do not want to hurt somebody else's feelings just to serve my own personal motives...i.e pissing the ex off...I would like to think she's a bitch but when that person has treated you like God when in a relationship I find it hard to accept the way I am being treated now...n the fact is, I know she is confused and she still has feelings for me...I am sure the way she is acting is just a mechanism to hide those feelings...for example, when we're alone in my room, she had my cushion on my shoulder and then she was leaning on my shoulderw with it.. later on, I was reading something and she had her chin on my shoulder for a while..she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek...she was biting her nails (she does this every time she wants to tell me something important)..I am sure she just acts weird around her mates to show to them it is really over...I just feel what I did last night has really made her bugger off once and for all...in my heart, I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing

Stop reading so much into things and spend time apart. Don't ask for advice, get it and then contradict everything we're saying, it makes people not want to give advice.

Former Member

well, go fuck urself...I feel like the lowest person in the world with my feelings all over the place so I am bound to contradict what is said..I am just trying to work myself through the problem n I couldn't give a shit if I am being selfish by not adhering to ur preferred manner of posting

Former Member

N by the way, I have been trained to look into things too much...I do study Law after all

Former Member

If u were going through what I going through at the minute (this ex thing is minor in comparison, but it doesn't really help) I am sure u would have been close to ending it the easy way...n trust me, I have been that close...so before u post anything, please bear in mind that what is being said is happening in the real world, not the cold vacuum of cyber-space

Former Member

N judging by ur post count, I reckon u dont live in the real world

Former Member

Jim_b wrote:

N by the way, I have been trained to look into things too much...I do study Law after all

but you've got to admit if you look into things too much, esp. when they are topics which are close to your heart... it will fuck with your head and nothing more... thats why you feel so low!

I am just trying to work myself through the problem

keep doing that... but make sure the "problem" doesn't become the only thing to think about - if you are questionning WHY? all the time that's likely to happen. as hard as it is: you really do need to move on, mate. - people on here can only give you advice not much more i'm afraid.

Former Member

well I do, but its hard to not do it when its constantly on ur mind...like a parasite feeding off ur emotions 24/7..I am sure Freud would have had a field day with some of the dreams Ive had

Former Member

Jim_b wrote:

N judging by ur post count, I reckon u dont live in the real world

Yes mate, but have you seen her join date :rolleyes:.

She's trying to help you, getting angry at her won't help any will it?!

Former Member

Look, I know it wont help, so please ignore me...I am like a ticking time bomb at the mo

Former Member

Who did the breaking up and do you want to get back with her??
If you want to get back with her then you should ask her if she feels the same (cos maybe it sounds like she might, with cuddling up to you and kissing) If you don't and you want to move on sit down and talk to her and tell her to stop fucking you around, you need to know where you stand...explain to her its hurting you the way she's acting

Maybe she does want to be friends, its hard to stop acting the same way around someone you have for so long and she doesn't realise its inappropriate

Break ups are always headfucking, don't get off with someone just to spite her...it will just distance her from you and stop any chances of sorting things out

Former Member

Jeez, I'm sorry I wasted my sympathy. Speaking from experience I know that you have to put space between you. If you don't want to take that advice, fine. Sadly, it's true.

I'm going to ignore your pathetic comments and put it down to you feeling very emotional right now.

Former Member

You're studying law?

That's a shocker.

Former Member

might I ask what u do in real life?

Former Member

Bumblebee, I know u r trying to be helpful n everything n I know my comments might sound pathetic but as u said, I am extremely emotional right now so please do forgive me for talking crap....I really couldnt care if I did it over the net rather than in real life where I am likely to to hurt people who mean something to me