If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Moving backwards from drugs..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I seem to find myself moving away from the drugs recently. I've had a wrap of ketamine sat here for 3 weeks now untouched. I didn't have any the night I got it either and I stood and watched it cooking up. It was all crystally and ... no, nothing. I pilled that weekend but they were awfully weak pills (white apples) and so didn't have a wonderful night, rather spent it feeling lazy and uninterested in anything.
I never used be like "OMG I can't wait until I can do this, or this again", but there was that anticipation and as the days drew nearer to the weekend I would be looking forward to kicking back and doing whatever. Now though I don't even think about it and don't plan anything. I was having a conversation with my friend and I came to some kind of conclusion about it all.
I used to have two groups of friends. The people who did drugs and the people who didn't. I liked the fact that I could have a good time with the friends who did drugs and then be able to have a good time with other people without being under the influence of anything. The thing is, these two groups of friends have started to mix. Sophie, Emma, Tom and Adam were in the non-drugs group but now they all take drugs.
Why is this such a big problem? Well at first it wasn't. It was good to share in this with them and to see them enjoying themselves but now it's all a bit too much. They get too excited about it. I think they see it as "I'm taking drugs!" rather than "I'm having a good time!".
We were sat in a quiet pub and Adam says quite loudly, "I could really do with some truffles right now!", "Truffles?" I asked. "Yeah they're like magic mushrooms. They have an effect kinda like E but without the big up and big down.. blah blah.." he replies. I just rolled my eyes and let him continue. After he'd finished I told him that I do actually know what mushrooms are and what the effects are. He's done them once and thinks he knows everything about them.
They show off about their drug use and they do something every weekend (the two boys, Tom and Adam). Emma gets really annoying after a little while of not pilling saying she "can't fucking wait" and that she "needs it". When they're actually on the drugs it's the same. They play up the effects and I can't stand to be near them.
Okay maybe it's because they're just starting out with using drugs and they're still on that euphoric high but I don't remember being like that, and I really hope I wasn't! I remember the old days of raving in Bristol end of summer 2003 with my old group of friends before anyone else joined us. That's how I want it to be. Everyone does what they do and everyone gets on with it and has a good time not running around asking if you're pilled up yet, every second telling you they love you, saying how fucking great everything is. I don't know.
Maybe that's all it is, I miss the old days. Maybe I don't want to share in this with them? Maybe I don't want to share these friends with them? Or maybe I'm just being stupid and just relax a bit more and not think about it.
Has/does anyone else feel/felt like this?
I never used be like "OMG I can't wait until I can do this, or this again", but there was that anticipation and as the days drew nearer to the weekend I would be looking forward to kicking back and doing whatever. Now though I don't even think about it and don't plan anything. I was having a conversation with my friend and I came to some kind of conclusion about it all.
I used to have two groups of friends. The people who did drugs and the people who didn't. I liked the fact that I could have a good time with the friends who did drugs and then be able to have a good time with other people without being under the influence of anything. The thing is, these two groups of friends have started to mix. Sophie, Emma, Tom and Adam were in the non-drugs group but now they all take drugs.
Why is this such a big problem? Well at first it wasn't. It was good to share in this with them and to see them enjoying themselves but now it's all a bit too much. They get too excited about it. I think they see it as "I'm taking drugs!" rather than "I'm having a good time!".
We were sat in a quiet pub and Adam says quite loudly, "I could really do with some truffles right now!", "Truffles?" I asked. "Yeah they're like magic mushrooms. They have an effect kinda like E but without the big up and big down.. blah blah.." he replies. I just rolled my eyes and let him continue. After he'd finished I told him that I do actually know what mushrooms are and what the effects are. He's done them once and thinks he knows everything about them.
They show off about their drug use and they do something every weekend (the two boys, Tom and Adam). Emma gets really annoying after a little while of not pilling saying she "can't fucking wait" and that she "needs it". When they're actually on the drugs it's the same. They play up the effects and I can't stand to be near them.
Okay maybe it's because they're just starting out with using drugs and they're still on that euphoric high but I don't remember being like that, and I really hope I wasn't! I remember the old days of raving in Bristol end of summer 2003 with my old group of friends before anyone else joined us. That's how I want it to be. Everyone does what they do and everyone gets on with it and has a good time not running around asking if you're pilled up yet, every second telling you they love you, saying how fucking great everything is. I don't know.
Maybe that's all it is, I miss the old days. Maybe I don't want to share in this with them? Maybe I don't want to share these friends with them? Or maybe I'm just being stupid and just relax a bit more and not think about it.
Has/does anyone else feel/felt like this?
0
Comments
This can be a combination of factors, and only you will really understand the outcome of them. You sound like you have just become too accustomed to the behaviours and situations you've found yourself in, in could be a bit of familiarity breeding contempt.
It is interesting to note that about your previously non-drug-taking mates, that their behaviour makes you not want to be round them. I imagine they are in a situation of moving into this 'new and exciting' phase alot of us have when we discover drug use in whatever form. You seem to be way beyond this so the mucking about and exploring wont be something that will give you all that much pleasure.
People get bored with all sorts of things; football, work, relationships...might well be the same with any recreational substance you choose to consume or the whole social situaition in which your use occurs.
Maybe you just dont wanna do it that much anymore?
people don't approach drink in this manner.
yes of course some do ...
why does it come as such a surprise to discover that drugs have their place in life ...but they aint essential to life ...
i'm rambling .
and what a friggin hypocrite i am!
i can remember wanting to be under the influence of all manner of things all the time forever too!
and ended up being ...
but thats all along time ago now.
chin up ...you have noticed theres a whole big wifde world out there ...
Your friends will learn soon enough that drugs aren't the be-all and end-all of activities. Those that don't learn tend to find themselves with nasty little habits.
I used to be quite taken with drugs (pills & MDMA especially), and for a year or so, it got quite 'busy'. It's winding down somewhat now though, and it's likely that your mates'll realise the same too.
Finally, no matter how 'under control' you think you are when on drugs, you're usually just as bad as everyone else...just a little observation.
I actually video'd and recorded myself once when I thought I was the 'only sane on in the group'...yeah...cue some embarrassing moments the next day.
"Yeah, I'll do it for posterior...postmen...posterity! Yeah. I've got some deep stuff to say, man, and I wanna record it so we never forget it!"
Turned out to be me mumbling into the mic, eyes swivelling independantly of each other and me trying to control my legs which felt like they were being manipulated by the Elephant Man on acid.
On reflection, I recommend people do this: it gives you insight you'd not otherwise have. There's not a lot more sobering than seeing yourself completely munted.
You also look really pale on video/in photos. It's almost like your skin's slightly opaque.
Lovely. :thumb:
It's not so much a surprise and I never thought I would "want to drugs all day everyday forever". I just don't like the feeling, the feeling that I have less things in common with a majority of my friends, the feeling that something I always used to enjoy is no longer as enjoyable, the feeling that something I used to enjoy is changing my view on my friends. *shrug*