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My friend just told me he is sleeping with his cousin !!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Oh my god, i just got a call from my best friend who has told me he is sleeping with his cousin. he says they have been doing it for months now, and that he doesnt even wear a condom !!! this is completely wrong dont u think ? he did say that his cousin is on the pill, but im still worried. What advice can i give to him ?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's actually legal for cousins to have relationships. Read this Q&A - it explains it all in more detail.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might be legal, but i still think there are certain boundarys, i definatley wouldn't cross. I mean you grow up playing with your cousins and what not and the fact that your mother in law could be your auntie. Arrgh!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    strange... I know that in some places it's legal, but where I am, it's ILLEGAL. For good reasons too.

    He really should be wearing a condom, as a child born to two cousins (as the parents) are at higher risk for medical complications including learning disabilities and mental handicaps.
    If he's ready to deal with raising a child that won't get past the mental age of 2 or 4, then by all means, don't wear a condom. Although the combination pill is a VERY effective method of birthcontrol, it isn't fool proof. Here's a list of birth control methods and unplanned pregnancy rates per 100 women per year:

    Combination pill: less than 1 to 2
    Intrauterine device (IUD): less than 1 to 6
    Condom with spermicidal foam or gel: 1 to 6
    mini-pill: 3 to 6
    Condom: 2 to 12
    Diaphragm with spermicidal foam or gel: 3 to 18
    Spermicide: 3 to 21
    Sponge with spermicide: 3 to 28
    Cervical cap with spermicide: 5 to 18
    Periodic abstinence (rhuthm), all types: 2 to 20
    No birth control: 60 to 85

    In other words, even if she's taking the combination pill there's still a risk, and that risk increases if she uses antibiotics, antiinfectives, or anti-convulsent medication (such as carbamazepine, epival, or depakote) or if she misses a pill. It's always best to have a back-up method of birth control.

    I'm on the combination pill, but it's used as a theraputic medication due to endometirosis, and not as birth control. Also, I take Carbamazepine (not for epilepsy tho, it's a mutli-use medication), so the effectiveness of the combination pill for me is decrease bringing my risk of uplanned pregnancy up to about 5-10. Not a risk I like, so my bf, when we do things that involve him being exposed and risk our genitals touching (not doing penetrive yet), he wears a condom. As he's still in school, I'm going to college this coming winter, he works part time, I'm unemployed, and we cannot afford to have a baby right now (never mind the fact that his mother would disown him, and my dad would be ready to kill me. We're both 18, but I'm 6 mths older. :p So I finished last year.). So we take all the precautions that we can (but still have fun). If he's worried about wearing a condom 'dampening the mood' or 'desensitizing'. He could get his cousin to put the condom on, either with her hands, or using her mouth... tho I've never been able to do that. AND there are such things as extra sensitive, or ultra sensitive condoms, which DO NOT desensitize the penis during intercourse.

    Everything that I know comes from an RN (my bestfriend's mom) who works at a planned parenthood clinic, and sees LOTS of unplanned pregnancies due to misuse of the combination pill.

    All my best to your friend.

    CK
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it's legal then let him, it's not all that natural but hell...half the stuff we do today isn't 'natural'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how gross
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so if they had a kid together, what would it be? surely they'd be a mother and a father and then something else? or do your cousins children not count?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him to wear protection, unless he wants an inbred kid of course.

    I mean, as far as the relationship goes, if its a proper relationship then I guess you need to accept it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi ive just ben looking thru here,
    and just wanted to say my parents are cousins.
    im not religious or anythin like that so it wasnt for those reasons (arranged marriage or anythin!)
    but they didnt meet as cousins till they wer older, and i guess it just seemd right, well obviously!
    and thers nothin wrong with me! medically or anythin!
    just thght id giv my point of view
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thers nothin wrong with me!

    There is, it's called ussing txt spk. It's annyoing. Good day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aquadoll wrote:
    hi ive just ben looking thru here,
    and just wanted to say my parents are cousins.
    im not religious or anythin like that so it wasnt for those reasons (arranged marriage or anythin!)
    but they didnt meet as cousins till they wer older, and i guess it just seemd right, well obviously!
    and thers nothin wrong with me! medically or anythin!
    just thght id giv my point of view

    so does it not mean your dad's something as well as being your dad?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    J wrote:
    Ahhh, inbreeding has been going on for years. It used to go on all the time in the gentry and elite circles. They didn't want the common blood because they thought it was the genes that made us common not our sub-human service to them.
    having sex with a cousin is legal.
    "inbreeding" in any other sense of the word is not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If my cousins werent my cousins, but just guys i knew, id sleep with them.. theyre pretty hot
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Business wrote:
    Oh my god, i just got a call from my best friend who has told me he is sleeping with his cousin. he says they have been doing it for months now, and that he doesnt even wear a condom !!! this is completely wrong dont u think ? he did say that his cousin is on the pill, but im still worried. What advice can i give to him ?


    Its perfectly legal and if theyre happy why not? The only problem with not using condoms, is the risk of STD infections.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think the main problem may occur when the parents find out - not such a biggy if you aren't brought up together, but the parents may not be so accepting -when your in laws are also your aunt and uncle.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This doesn't sound like much of a problem. Cousins sleeping together is completely legit, I think the only worries are the reaction of family if they find out and about any possible problems should you choose to someday have children.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My best friends aunt and uncle are married but they are also step brother and sister. His mum and her dad married before they did, so they are brother and sister and also man and wife. His step dad is also his father in law and her step mum is also her mum in law.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him to wear protection, unless he wants an inbred kid of course.

    The chance of birth defects when picking two completely random members of the population is about 3% (still relatively high). For first cousins it's about 5.5%, which is probably no more risky than thousands of other non-related couples.

    If someone thinks first cousins reproducing is a bad idea, perhaps they also consider it a bad idea for women over 40 to have a baby (because the chances of having a child with learning difficulties at that age is probably even higher... :rolleyes: )

    Ian.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im wondering why he told you.
    its something id rather not know if it was in my family.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank u ian!
    i dnt really see the problem with it but thats only because my parents r very happily married, and in my eyes thats all that counts
    i just wanted to giv my opinion
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aquadoll wrote:
    thank u ian!
    i dnt really see the problem with it but thats only because my parents r very happily married, and in my eyes thats all that counts
    i just wanted to giv my opinion

    the fact that your parents didnt meet til later in life puts a slightly different spin on things - they weren't brought up close. lots of people do have a problem with it when the two families are brought up close . i think how your personal cousin relationships are affects your point of view. i can see how people can see it as a problem, although i personally dont. however i wouldn't personally get involved with any of my male cousins.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lots of people do have a problem with it when the two families are brought up close .

    Nature has a problem with it to. Kids who grow up closely together almost never ever fancy each other in later life, whether they're related or not. This is nature's way of stopping brother and sister reproducing but it's also been seen in communities such as Kibbutz's where children from different families tended to be raised together. Places like this found they had a severe population crisis because none of these kids fancied each other when the time came for them to start "looking".

    Ian.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i dont think i'd do it but that being said i dont really have any hot cousins haha
    each to their own i say
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so hes sleeping with his cousin,
    its completly legal in this country, maybe you feel as a freind he should be with a better women, someone like your self who would`nt go with your cousin, maybe your asking to much from your freind, everyone is unique from everyone being different, which makes the world a place does it not, you seem to be asking your freind to be someone he does`nt want to be.

    off the record ive been with my cousin, slept with her, no protection, no pill, i dont have a child thank god, and only, ''thank god'', because a mother in law who is my auntie is the only thing stopping me from doing it again, its like the lack of power and money.......... otherwise it would be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my grandparents are cousins, though they werent until they got married some sortve marriage thing happened there. But anyway the whole royal family are related so why worry about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok dave youve baffed me. Explain that one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my grandas mum married my grandmas uncle....or something. anyway this was after my grandparents were married. so technically they're cousins
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What is wrong with the world today....? :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im my own grandpa.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    evil_dave wrote:
    But anyway the whole royal family are related so why worry about it
    I wouldn't have chosen the royal family as an example of successful inbreeding. :no: More of an example as to why genetic bio-diversity is an important issue. :yes:
    Breeding, and inbreeding, is fine if you're trying to produce a higher yielding crop, or more meat on an animal, but not if you're trying to produce long term healthy humans. Maybe the royal family could be cross bred with another species to perform a useful function to the rest of the country, such as with cows and sheep. After all, looking at some of them, they nearly successully pulled it of with horses! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    evil_dave wrote:
    my grandas mum married my grandmas uncle....or something. anyway this was after my grandparents were married. so technically they're cousins

    in the non genetic sense
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