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Parents know too much

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
At first me and my girlfriend were fine to be up in my room on my own..that was until she stayed in my room without my parents knowledge (we had come in from a night out on a split decision and had had a fair few drinks lol)..and my mum found like condom 'evidence' (dont worry nothing that bad!) next to the bed later that next day. I mean they hardly know my girlfriend and its sort of made them not want to as much...which is a shame. They know shes a really nice girl...but its just difficult because now its hard for us to have sex or sleep together without feeling a bit guilty....we are both 18 but I guess its not our house! Any advice? xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does your Mum come poking round in your room? You are entitled to privacy when you are 18. Who does your girlfriend live with? Are you moving out any time soon?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Condom evidence! Was it used?? Cause thats always extremly embarassing.
    My ex used to stay over all the time, when i was about your age, on the condition that he slept in the spare room. We used to sneak into eachothers rooms though for sex. One night he thought it would be nice if he sneaked into my room just to fall asleep together. It was that night my parents discoverd us!! We got into so much trouble and we hadn't even had sex (on that occasion). My sympathies to you. Whenever you can afford to move out!! I'd love to get a place with my fiancee, but i'm still studying f/t at uni, so i can't afford to. As soon as i can though i will.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, it is their house, and even thought you're legally of age to have sex, they dont want to know its going on do they? it probably makes them uncomfy, even if they cant hear you doing stuff, they may assume you are just because the 2 of you are upstairs alone.
    Perhaps spend more time with them when your g.f is at yours? maybe watch a film together?? That way they can get to know her, and you'll both earn their trust and respect!
    SBG
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just say to my mum I'll leave the bedroom door open :p and it works a treat. Mind you, I'm 17, and we both wear some form of pyjamas :p so it's more like a kiddy sleepover. But nevermind :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm nearly 20 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months and my parents have always let him stay over...in the spare room only. They know that I stay in his room at his house and that if they're away he stays in mine but they wouldn't hear my argument on the subject.

    That was until last week when suddenly it was all fine. I meant an awful lot to me as my parents obviously trust us both and approve of our relationship being physical. At first I did pester them a little about allowing him to stay in my room but I gave up and shut up and it seems to have done the trick.

    I suggest that you apollogise to your parents, they'll probably appreciate it. Explain that if your girlfriend stays again it wont happen without their permission as you understand that it is their house and that you must go by the house rules. You could also however remind them that you are 18 and of legal age. Just mention it the once and they might come round to the idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my mum seems ok with it as long as it's 'not under her roof'. she'd let me stay there, but not the other way around. but hopefully she'll be ok in a few months. i'm at uni anyway though so not a great problem. when i stay at his house though, he goes in the spare room.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bionic234 wrote:
    At first me and my girlfriend were fine to be up in my room on my own..that was until she stayed in my room without my parents knowledge (we had come in from a night out on a split decision and had had a fair few drinks lol)..and my mum found like condom 'evidence' (dont worry nothing that bad!) next to the bed later that next day. I mean they hardly know my girlfriend and its sort of made them not want to as much...which is a shame. They know shes a really nice girl...but its just difficult because now its hard for us to have sex or sleep together without feeling a bit guilty....we are both 18 but I guess its not our house! Any advice? xx

    Well if you are 18 i don't see any problem...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my friends is 26 and her boy friend who she has lived with for 3 years still has to sleep in the spare room when they come over to stay....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum always used to say that my bf's couldnt stay over until i was like 18. But for some strange reason the tables have turned and she lets my boyfriend stay over, and in the same bed, and doesnt mind too much which is kinda weird as she was so against it all about a year ago. If he's not staying the night, were always up in my room behind closed doors. No one dares walks in incase they see something they shouldn't i dont think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh your all right really, its the fact she just associates us being in my room..with us having sex. I guess its not a nice thought for a parent. But my mum works under the idea what she doesnt know wont hurt her and she told me that. I think just being more discreet is the key. Last night was fine...we didnt spend a moment apart but it involved us moving to one of the spare rooms at a certain time. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both my mum and my boyfriends parents let us sleep in each others room when we stay at each others houses... (we are both 16). When we first started i used to sleep in his little sisters room but now we share beds. It's cool that our parents trust us not to do too much (or not to anything stupid)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my gf's mom knows that i fuck her daughter. i think as long as she doesn't catch us while doing it, it's okay.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My bf has to stay in the spare room when he sleeps over. Even though we just wanna fall asleep together. However, he's 16, and I'm 14. So letting him sleep in my bed would be too taboo. Like they don't mind us shagging. Still, my mum put me on the pill 2 months ago so they know we're 'at it'. hehe. parents' minds work in mysterious ways.
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