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advice needed please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
after 9 yrs and 3 children my partner told me "she loved me but wasn't in love with me " and that it was over , she also gave me that familer line " i hope we can be friends" , since then ive tried to sort things out with her but she flatly refuses to talk about our relasionship , just saying theres no point. also shes gone funny with my access to the children , which is something she promised she would never do.even when we,ve seen each other alls i get a a one worded conversation.nobody cheated in this partnership , there were no arguments that lead to this bombshell , it just happened.
i know in my heart that i love this person 100% and would do anything to be with her and the children again (i don't want her just to be with my children)
plus the stress from her job can't be helping , what do i do ? i would wait forever for this person but don't think her feelings will ever change
should i walk away and accept its over ? or should i silently keep fighting for her?
veiws off men and women welcome
many thanks
i know in my heart that i love this person 100% and would do anything to be with her and the children again (i don't want her just to be with my children)
plus the stress from her job can't be helping , what do i do ? i would wait forever for this person but don't think her feelings will ever change
should i walk away and accept its over ? or should i silently keep fighting for her?
veiws off men and women welcome
many thanks
0
Comments
painful as it will be.
walking away ...might actualy change her mind more than anything slse you do.
walking away should show you as being strong.
keep grovelling ...cos that is how it will end up or come across ...will be seen as weak.
strong is more attractive than weak.
at the moment she has you dangling on her strings ...which she will pull and yank at as is her whim.
very damaging to you.
all the best mate.
and sometimes, although it might seem like things "just happen" - there will be a reason for it. and "waiting forever" won't help, it will just prolong your grief. you need to accept that your relationship with your partner has ended.
if you are unable to see your own children, perhaps you could think about taking legal advice.
I dont have any kids of my own but it must be hard to be separated from them when you are a good father and the relationship break up is not your fault. I've chatted to a few mates who have found themselves in this situation. Genuine fathers really seem to get a raw deal in relationship breakdowns, seemingly unfairly tarred by the same brush as the guys who dont give a damn and run from their responsibilites. My friends exes seemed to want their money and only let them spend time with their kids when it suited them and thier new partners to go out or on holidays.
You are gonna have to walk away from this woman, be strong and dont let her see you looking like a sad puppy. Make sure that you get a fair deal on your children, when they are older and understand that it was not your fault that you split from their mother but have always been their Dad in every way you can they will respect you for sure. One of my workmates has a daughter who is 13 now, she understands what happened and now she is old enough to make her own choices loves to be around her Dad. He hung in there although his ex wanted to forget about him, just take his maintenance even though she ended it all.
Dont jump into a new relatonship with the first person that comes along, learn from whats happened, find someone right for you with no compramise then a relationship is more likely to last. It will all work out in the end, it just may seem hard now. Good luck.