Why am I attracting older guys?

Former Member

Well I'm 15.....not 16 for ages yet and I do act and look alot older than I am. I've made good friends with guys online before and they're always older but I just intend to chat with them because they're more mature. And when they just chat to me they say I'm a really sweet/nice/intelligent person but as soon as they see my pics or see me on cam (and NO i DONT do anything) they seem to go crazy over me and giving loads of compliments about how i'm ''really fit'' etc....and they never see sexy or revealing pics. I'm confused, because after that they always flirt with me. Do they just like me because of my looks and youth....or does my personality still play a part?

Please help

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

Well I'm 15.....not 16 for ages yet and I do act and look alot older than I am. I've made good friends with guys online before and they're always older but I just intend to chat with them because they're more mature. And when they just chat to me they say I'm a really sweet/nice/intelligent person but as soon as they see my pics or see me on cam (and NO i DONT do anything) they seem to go crazy over me and giving loads of compliments about how i'm ''really fit'' etc....and they never see sexy or revealing pics. I'm confused, because after that they always flirt with me. Do they just like me because of my looks and youth....or does my personality still play a part?

Please help

Unfortunate fact of life #1:

Men who talk to girls online want sex

Unfortunate fact of life #2:

Older men are better at disguising this and more adept at flattery

Unfortunate fact of life #3:

Unscrupulous older men often think it's easier to get sex from a younger woman

Unfortunate fact of life #4:

Some men are actually sicko sex perverts and actually only want sex with young ladies.

Of course you've already said you act and look older, perhaps it's understandable that they would like and fancy you. Do you tell them your age? Does doing so make them more or less keen? How much older are they? Ask yourself why are they talking to a fifteen year old online when there are real, available women everywhere? Perhaps they have a socially unacceptable preference? Just treat internet chat with the cynicism and contempt it deserves and be careful out there.

Former Member

I was also, how should I say this "well built" for my age @ 15 and I was often approached my older men. I found them to be more interesting than the boys at my middle/high school, because they seemed more mature..... but then I realized that an older man really has nothing in common with a 15 year old girl - the only thing older men are wanting from a young girl is SEX! Granted - teenage boys are usually interested in sex too, but at least they will be on your level. Older men will be much more "skilled" at getting a young girl to do what they want. Plus, now that I look back on it - I think older men who want young girls are just creepy. If I were you I'd stick to the boys your age (or maybe just a little older like 16 or 17). And just a reminder - please be careful when chatting with these men online - don't give them any personal information or meet them, you never know what kind of psycho your dealing with.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

I met my gf over the internet, i'm 18, she's 15 and although Ginner will no doubt put my in #4 I wasn't intrested in her when we first talked. In my college I met a girl (who is also 18 now) and we became friends, she is also really good friends with my gf (Rhianna) and on msn she added Rhianna to a conversation and I chateed to her messing about and found her to be a really fun person to talk to, it didn't even enter my head I would want to see this girl or find her attractive because she was 15. Then her friends 18th came along and we met at the party, I knew instantly I liked this girl and couldn't get her out of my head even when I was kissing other girls and went out to town that night clubbing. even at the party it was wrecking my head because I kept thinking "she's only 15 how can I like her so much!?" for about 2 months after I saw her reguarly at a friends house and I didn't even tell my best friend I liked her in case it would pass. but here I am, this is the happiest i've been with a girl, point of this post is that not all 'older' men online are after sex, it's just an easy place to flirt oh and the guys dropping to their knees for you are wussy losers anyway considering the way they act once they see a pic of you. Oh an I suppose to try an prove a point to ginner that because i'm seeing a 15 year old girl that i'm not some sort of peadophile.

You're not after sex? But you're having sex with her though, right?

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

Yep I am having sex with her.

And if she wouldn't have sex with you? From my perspective, if you loved and respected her, you'd wait, protect her childhood and not be pushing her to grow up so fast.

MattLiverpool wrote:

I'm usually the first to give, I like to tease her and intimidate her by making her feel all the sensations, I feel a power

You say here you like to feel power in your sexual relationship, that you like to feel in control. Exerting power over children for sexual gratification? That's so very very wrong. I urge you to stop. Until she's older.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

augh god you make me laugh as I read this. At the moment I typed about the "power over her" I knew you would bring it up in this thread

Like I've already said, she's mentally and physically mature to have sex and makes her own decisions where it's concerned, alot of the time she has to respect my decision that I don't want to have sex since where having problems at the moment.

I don't push her to grow up so fast, explain to me what suggested this to you.

Her childhood ended on it's own accord a long time ago when she became a teenger.

I do like to feel control and power, I like to dominate, all males feel this, it's how we are made, it's why we like sports and competition.

In sex I like to dominate too, wheather it by Rhianna or another girl older than me. I don't see how this suggests i'm forcing myself onto children for sexual needs, you're accusing me of rape and being a peadophile in the sub-tone of this discussion.

Childhood doesn't end at 13. She's still a child. The law doesn't recognise her as able to make decisions about whether she's ready for sex and neither do I. As a legally recognised adult you should have the awareness to know that doing as you do with a child is wrong. You should take the moral high ground with her as you know what would be better for her.

I don't expect any more of you than I would of myself. No doubt you'll ignore my opinion but it's stupid to open yourself up to a statutory rape accusation retrospectively if ever you two were to split and either her or her parents sought retribution.

Former Member

poisonfairy wrote:

i think we're losing the point of the thread now really...

i think it depends on how much "older" these guys are. if they are only a few years older then they probably do have things in common to talk about on the net but if we're talking any older than say 18... i think it's obvious what they're after.

Yes, the two issues are relatively unrelated. My first post is my real contribution to this thread. None the less, after Matt brought our disagreement in here I stand by my other comments.

Former Member

well i tell them my age and they're always really shocked and they seem less keen, but still chat to me and they seem to forget after a while, when i ask them why theyre talking to me they say stuff like ''because you're a very mature girl'' - but they usually admit that they think i'm ''gorgeous'' etc...
they're usually 3-10 years older......i never want anything to happen with them, i just wanna chat.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

How old are you?

You know if I was to just say what you said to her, she'd laugh and tell me to fuck off because she's not a child anymore and can make her own decisions. You're acting like she's got the mental capacity as a 10 year old, even at 10 I knew what sex is. "Experience comes with age" wouldn't apply to you i'm afraid as you seem to have lost touch and judgement with younger generation because you seem to have strong opinions on something when you honestly don't know the mental state of 15 year olds. Really though, I don't know any better than her, i've just got more experience at being treated older. She's expected to pass GCSE's and make moral decisions about world war two, subjects like business studies where she has to research and create a company, create products you or other people would buy. Understand shakespeare's writing about situations like love and war, but in your eyes she can't make the decision wheather to have sex or not for herself? Like I said, when laws are made they are made in 'overkill mode', it's at 16 for the few who still really can't deal or understand what sex is and means.

Most people masturbate way before the age of 16, what do you have to say about that?

"legally recognised" Legally, exactly my point. Laws don't define situations, they can't it would be too confusing, so they just set it high so everyone is covered. I know a very immature 22 year old. The law says it's illegal, it doesn't say it's wrong, it's just wrong to go against the law

i'm not going to take the "moral high ground" because I can't make her decisions for her, she wouldn't let me.

Have to agree it's not in my best intrest to get involved with a 15 year old and I had a very hard time deciding what to do, but in the end it became clear she is worth the risk. Her parents know i'm 18 and my parents know she's 15, we see each other often, in fact she's coming down to my house tonight.

I seriously think you're out of order, you believe I have this girl under my control and have seduced her, she can't make her own decisions because she's a "child" and i'm abusing her.

what I seriously think is that you are blinded by your own beliefs, you will not empathise with others to try and get a clearer picture on posibilites of a situation. This is obvious by your comments on how a 15 year olds state of mind can't handle the subject of sex. With every child there is a point at which they begin to recognise they are becoming older, they start to think ahead about their future and responsibilities, they realise that decisions they make now will have an effect on their future. That is the point I believe children start to become adults. Ginner, you have to realise that this does not happen on the 16th birthday and that each person is an individual and can not be bound by a law, this is because they are able to make their own decisions.

Seriously, find me a 16 year old who understands Shakespeare or what love is.

Masturbating can't get someone pregnant at an early age and impact upon their future. Masturbation is an individual act, not the act of a couple and no-one can manipulate you to do it.

You could easily decline to have sex with her, she's not going to be raping you.

And I agree, she wouldn't magically become ready on her 16th birthday, at the same time she's not obligated to have sex as soon as she's legally able.

The more I read your attempts at justifying yourself the more I think they should insist on tests to breed.

Former Member

well the way i see it.....as long as they're both happy with it, and they're being safe - then let them get on with it! it's up to them

Former Member

ginner wrote:

Seriously, find me a 16 year old who understands Shakespeare or what love is.

Erm...hi :wave:

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

When I was 15 I had to pass GCSE English Literature and the subject was shakespeare's Macbeth and Henry V, in fact I studied it earlier on, at the age of 13. Who does understand love? lol

Exactly! no one can manipulate you to do it! because it's your OWN decision to masturbate, because it's clear alot of people are comfortable with their bodies alot earlier than the age of 16. Masturbation is part of exploring and understanding your sexual needs and nature.

The more I read your garbage implying that my gf who is 15 can't make her own decisions and that i'm abusing her, forcing her into sex the more I wonder what your mental state was at the age of 15. Do you see anyone else posting that I am abusing the one I love, that I force her into sex? No, you're taking ever advantage to say it though. It's why I wrote "power over her" in the first place, so I could judge wheather or not you really are extreme in your views and too stubborn to take someone else opinion into account and create a more correct solution and judgement to this type of situation.

My step sister's 15. In my youth I dated 15 year olds. None of them are/were mentally ready for that kind of relationship. From my perspective, and from the laws perspective what you're doing is wrong.

Former Member

*x*franki chicken*x* wrote:

Erm...hi :wave:

Which one are you trying for here?

Former Member

ginner wrote:

Which one are you trying for here?

The second one. If Shakespeare was still alive I would kill him.

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

Well I'm 15.....not 16 for ages yet and I do act and look alot older than I am. I've made good friends with guys online before and they're always older but I just intend to chat with them because they're more mature. And when they just chat to me they say I'm a really sweet/nice/intelligent person but as soon as they see my pics or see me on cam (and NO i DONT do anything) they seem to go crazy over me and giving loads of compliments about how i'm ''really fit'' etc....and they never see sexy or revealing pics. I'm confused, because after that they always flirt with me. Do they just like me because of my looks and youth....or does my personality still play a part?

Please help

I don't know why guys are like that. I last year before I got with my bf and after I broke up with my ex, I started seeing a 38 yr old. I thought he would be more mature but actually, was worse..... Every day after work he would go to the pub. He was an electrician and at weekends he would go home to see his kids. He would not phone me so I would send a msg saying it's over.... he would then phone (always not at home, eg, in his van or in town) and tell me some sob story that his kid was ill e.t.c.... I would feel guilty. I only put up with it for 5 weeks though! Felt really bad as I found out he was married. Ended it as soon as I got told! Bastard!!

Former Member

another worry is, when i DO get to the real dating stage.....can i trust guys to go for my personality, or will they still play games wanting to get me into bed?

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

another worry is, when i DO get to the real dating stage.....can i trust guys to go for my personality, or will they still play games wanting to get me into bed?

Personally, you should enjoy life first. The only way to know if I guy wants you for you is to make him wait. Don't jump into anything.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

Ah, but Rhianna is mentally mature for this kind of relationship

In fact I don't think I know a 15 year old girl or boy who isn't. Don't give me crap about the law, you're accusing me of being seductive, as if i'm trying to get children into bed with me, that i'm abusing a child, that thought it so far out I question your mental state. It's crossed my mind you could have been one of those children raised by your parents wrapped in cotton wool, oblivious to the real world, I'm empathetic like that. You remind me of a politician.

You don't mean parents, you mean parent. You've got it so wrong, don't ever consider practising psychiatry professionally. I had to grow up faster because my parents split, my father left and ceased contact, I was the only male in the house and I was the entirety of emotional support available to my mother. I've been treated like an adult since I was 10. I've not been an adult since I was 10. Every person needs a childhood, that childhood needs protecting and it's deeply disappointing when someone like yourself takes that childhood away from someone.

I consider it abuse, so do the laws of this country. If you feel the lasw doesn't apply to you then good luck. I hope life's lessons aren't taught to you too harshly.

Former Member

Young looking girls attract older guys

Want a hint? Never meet an older guy off the internet unless you are with at least 3 other people. In fact... don't do it at all

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

another worry is, when i DO get to the real dating stage.....can i trust guys to go for my personality, or will they still play games wanting to get me into bed?

Varies from person to person. I'm shocked to say this but Melodie's right. Making them wait will give you the chance to find out their motivations and enable you to avoid as many hurtful mistakes as possible.

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

I didn't expect to get it right mate, unlike you I don't make an assumption and stand by it even though I know I don't have all the facts. It's just been me and my mother all my life, she was on the dole(financial support) till I was 13 and has taken it out on me since the beginning, my dad died in 2001 because he was a drug addict and began seeing "aliens" and thought people were stalking him. So i'm basically on the level with you then, but one thing you don't realise is i'm really not liking you saying i'm abusing the one girl i've only ever loved because i've experienced sexual abuse and the two just don't... work? see what i'm saying? When she wants to have sex by making her own decision and I want to have sex with her because she's a sexually mature female AND I love her, I think we're making mature decisions, yes? I don't want any other girl, I want her because we're great together and she feels the same, she wished she had saved her virginity for me. She's glad she had sex with me, she hasn't changed since we did it and it's only added to the closeness in our relationship, she has her own thoughts and opinions on sex and realises it's against the law for us to have sex, but she also decided that she loves me so much and wants to have sex with me because it's a healthy part of a relationship. We both decided not to have sex at first because of the law, but realised there's no harm in it because as i'll say again, she fully understands and is mentally mature for it.

There's really nothing you can say apart from she's 2 months away from being legal and that YOU THINK it's wrong. In NO way can you credit your suggestions that i'm seducing and abusing her. If you can then I suggest you tell me in your next post so I can totally discredit it and show what a total ignortant bastard you are.

The laws of the land agree with me. It comes down to me having more respect for them than for you.

You're right though, seduction's not your forte.

I like how you resort to swearing. It really highlights your intellect.

Why do I remind you of a politician?

Former Member

MattLiverpool wrote:

Love lays it's own law on me and it's hard to resist her beutiful charm, we enjoy our time together and as i've said it adds to out closeness, we've had a few slipups, learned from our mistakes and now enjoying our happiness together.

Actually i'm quite good at flirting and becoming acquainted with girls, i'm just really picky on the girls I like and Rhianna is great in her personality and the way she looks. Seduction sounds so evil!

Child abuse isn't my forte either.

How totally self appreciating. Shall we let this nice girl have her thread back or are you comfortable with moving in on her as well?

Former Member

ginner wrote:

How totally self appreciating. Shall we let this nice girl have her thread back or are you comfortable with moving in on her as well?

lol :wave:

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

lol :wave:

Hello, and sorry for distracting from your topic.

Former Member

ginner wrote:

Hello, and sorry for distracting from your topic.

lol its ok! and i wouldn't jump straight into things with a guy....i'd deffinatly wait and give him a good looking at first

Former Member

ginner wrote:

Varies from person to person. I'm shocked to say this but Melodie's right. Making them wait will give you the chance to find out their motivations and enable you to avoid as many hurtful mistakes as possible.

Ouch......

Former Member

melodie wrote:

Ouch......

Sowwee!

Keep proving me wrong.

Former Member

thats o.k.... xx

Former Member

ginner wrote:

Childhood doesn't end at 13. She's still a child. The law doesn't recognise her as able to make decisions about whether she's ready for sex and neither do I. As a legally recognised adult you should have the awareness to know that doing as you do with a child is wrong. You should take the moral high ground with her as you know what would be better for her.

I don't expect any more of you than I would of myself. No doubt you'll ignore my opinion but it's stupid to open yourself up to a statutory rape accusation retrospectively if ever you two were to split and either her or her parents sought retribution.

ya quite right about ' Childhood doesn't end at 13. ' but i know the girl and hers did because of reasons SHE wanted to happen AND she has told him she was ready for sex that's how he knows

Former Member

ginner wrote:

My step sister's 15. In my youth I dated 15 year olds. None of them are/were mentally ready for that kind of relationship. From my perspective, and from the laws perspective what you're doing is wrong.

yeah but where do you live again...................... fucking prick

Former Member

ginner wrote:

You don't mean parents, you mean parent. You've got it so wrong, don't ever consider practising psychiatry professionally. I had to grow up faster because my parents split, my father left and ceased contact, I was the only male in the house and I was the entirety of emotional support available to my mother. I've been treated like an adult since I was 10. I've not been an adult since I was 10. Every person needs a childhood, that childhood needs protecting and it's deeply disappointing when someone like yourself takes that childhood away from someone.

I consider it abuse, so do the laws of this country. If you feel the lasw doesn't apply to you then good luck. I hope life's lessons aren't taught to you too harshly.

well as a matter of fact ginner rhianna has had to become more independent and grown up through her childhood because of her father treating her badly ( punching, taking her money off her etc ) she has had to learn to cope on her own since she was at the age of around 9 - so dont fuckin tell my mate matt that he's got it all wrong and accuse rhianna or any 15 year old of not being able to make decisions for herself because quite clearly she has had to make ALOT more decisions for herself to keep her little sister and mother safe aswel and this year come 2005 it has begun to sink into him and she lets her father know what he should be like and what upsets them and for everyone else who reads this she has got on with him great this month

SO GINNER DONT FUCKING GO ACCUSING 15 YEAR OLDS OF NOT MAKING EVEN THE RIGHT DECISIONS FOR THEMESELVES BECAUSE THATS WHAT TEENAGERS LIKE HER CONSIDOR FIRST :mad:

' and it's deeply disappointing when someone like yourself takes that childhood away from someone.' He hasn't taken my firends childhood from her at all - she grew up very early on in life and since has been making decisions for herself and how it would affect the other person NOW don't you think that is respectable ?