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really struggling ...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
i'm struggling with uni work. i cannot concentrate at all. i feel really bad. i keep crying - about other stuff; not about uni work :p . i feel like shit. i can't focus myself on what i should be doing at all. :(

basically, i've got a huge project plan to do - it's in on friday... and i just cannot get my head around it. tbh i've not even decided what i'm going to do it on yet :eek:

i'm way behind. and if i say anything to one of my tutors i'm going to get crusified (sp?);
because i've been pretending for ages that i'm absolutly fine: i've got supervision sorted; i know what my project will be based on; and i've done a load of research in that area - and am just putting all the pieces together - WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!! - i haven't got anything sorted. :no:

on friday, i probably won't have anything to hand in at all and then i'll fail the module - and it's a compulsory module for progression into level 3!!! - god! i feel half like screaming and half like burying my head in the sand.

i cannot focus and i cannot concentrate. :crying:

i know you guys are probably going to tell me just to get stuck in ... but i keep trying and i REALLY cannot manage it. H E L P !.
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean. I'm very last minute. Remember, it's always better to hand in something than nothing at all. Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you really can't manage, talk to your tutors about deferring this module for a semester/year, and go back when you feel better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can't manage, and you know you can't make the deadline, then go and talk to them first thing on Monday morning. They won't kill you, although they will be disappointed that you didn't tell them sooner, because they could have helped you more back then.

    If you can't do it then you can't sit there with your head in the sand. Only by doing nothing will you fail it totally.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your personal supervisor is here for exactly this reason bud, surely you can't think you're alone in this situation (because you really aren't) and he/she will have heard it all before and give enough of a kind ear to stop you feeling stressed about letting them all down. As for the crying, try something to exert yourself, be it masturbation, exercise, a debating society... I got into a habit of crying as a release for all my frustration and anger etc, and it was a very difficult habit to get out of and the humiliation just compounded the problem. I have a couple of holes in my wall from punching them when I was in a state, and it made me realise/remember the endorphins that kick in when you've exerted yourself. Crying is one of the most physically tiring things you can do, and you do release endorphins when you've finished which is why you feel a lot better. Transfer your energy to something else and you'll cry less. I wouldn't advocate putting holes in your walls though!

    chin up mate :)
    c
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    admitting you're putting everything off till the last minute is a great first step :yes:

    you need to know that you really really WANT this degree, dont you?

    think about how much you want it, and use that as some motivation :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's best just to be honest with your tutors. They are there to help you, not to judge. I am way behind on my dissertation (only just got started when I should have started in October) and kept putting off appointments with my tutor. Feel much better since I went to see him and explained honestly that I was stressed out and behind.

    What sort of problems are you having besides uni? You may be able to get an extension because of extenuating (sp?) circumstances.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your tutors won't killl ou at all for going and being honest with tham. they meet student who do it all the time and they'll do the best to support you. if you've got a valid reason outside uni that distracting you tell the that and see whether they think you've got mitigating circumstances.

    Do what you can for Friday but don't let yourself get too stressed. Take a step back and you'll find you've probably got enough time to get it done with some serious dedication to it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your replys guys... i guess i'm going to have to talk to my tutor ... :nervous: :nervous: :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:

    i suppose it's good to know too that a lot of people experience this kind of problem? ... i guess i was thinking i'm the only person :( ... i guess too, thats because a lot of people i know... have already got theirs sorted!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not on your own at all, this kind of thing happens to more people than you think. Just go and talk to your tutor, be honest, and see what they come up with :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It happens to the best of us.

    I had serious problems with my dissertation because of health difficulties, and the uni took them all into account and gave me a mark I wouldn't have otherwise got.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The sensible thing to do is a) Explain the EXACT situation you are in from your view point. You exaggerated to save face that you had done research in a particular area, but you hadn't, you thought you had things under control, but then outside influences have got on top of you (personal problems, whatever, no need to elabaorate at this stage). SDay: "You know you should have asked for pastoral care soonner (by law universities/employers are obliged to offer a minimum of pastoral care). But you didn't think it would come to this. Then very nicely ask for an extension.

    Now, if this is the first time you have asked for an extension you are likely to get it. But if you have fallen back on this method in the past your year tutor(s) may be less sympathetic.

    The next note of action short of saying someone has passed on (no I'm not suggesting lies, but it's for you to make a moral judgement about how desparate your situation is) and desperate situations SOMETIMES call for desparate measures. I mean actually I am rather warming to this theme, if let's say your gran passed away in 1985, you could say my gran died and not say when and then it wouldn't be a lie would it? Who knows if you were not still suffering the psychological effects or not??

    Probably a much better option is to quickly go and see your uni GP and explain your 'downess' /problems say it has been affecting your work, which it has. You may a) Be able to get a medical certificate (outside chance) But at the very least try for a doctor's note suggesting relaxation for stress-related mild depression.

    It's all worth a try. No one deserves to fail needlessly. Good luck mate!

    Mazza
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your advice, again.
    apparantly, i need to "do what i can by friday" and hand that in with an extenuating circumstances form. and i should get to do a bit more work on it over the summer referal period so long as the extenuation is upheld. - which makes me feel a bit better :)
    but, if i fill in a form like that - who would be the best person the verify "personal problems" 'cos i'm not allowed counselling or anything, would my gp be the best option??? - and does that mean i'm going to have to talk to my gp properly, or could i just get away with just saying i've been feeling stressed, upset, etc??? - 'cos i've already spoken to my gp a tiny bit but not much (and my gp is pretty useless tbh, but thats a different matter).
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