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I have absolutely NO self confidence :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Im new to this site and seeing as plenty of other people are being so open about their problems etc, i thought i would share mine too 
Im heading off to Uni in september and i am absolutely scared petrified!! not because of leaving family, being so far from home and friends..
but because i have such a low self image and im waaay too shy! with everyone!
I am extremely shy (mostly around boys but with girls too) and most of the time when im around people I just sit and listen to them and not talk myself.. which results in me making no friends
and people generally dont bother with me..
also when i talk to people i always find myself thinking that theyre looking at me and thinking im a complete and utter minger! I just feel like they dont/wont like me because of it... and this makes me get all embarassed and i talk even less...
im not exactly the 'prettiest' of people which makes me feel even worse... expecially when i pass by people and they say nasty comments about how i look which happens on a *fairly* regular basis..
its just getting me down because i dont know how to conquer this feeling i have. i really wish i was more outgoing but i dont know how to be without feeling awkward!
i know what im saying here sounds reeally stupid but.. i just thought id write how i feel :mad: in fact, this is the first time ive actually told anyone about how self concious i really am which is good i guess..
but i dont know what to do :P *sigh* oh well
Im heading off to Uni in september and i am absolutely scared petrified!! not because of leaving family, being so far from home and friends..
but because i have such a low self image and im waaay too shy! with everyone!
I am extremely shy (mostly around boys but with girls too) and most of the time when im around people I just sit and listen to them and not talk myself.. which results in me making no friends
and people generally dont bother with me..also when i talk to people i always find myself thinking that theyre looking at me and thinking im a complete and utter minger! I just feel like they dont/wont like me because of it... and this makes me get all embarassed and i talk even less...
im not exactly the 'prettiest' of people which makes me feel even worse... expecially when i pass by people and they say nasty comments about how i look which happens on a *fairly* regular basis..
its just getting me down because i dont know how to conquer this feeling i have. i really wish i was more outgoing but i dont know how to be without feeling awkward!
i know what im saying here sounds reeally stupid but.. i just thought id write how i feel :mad: in fact, this is the first time ive actually told anyone about how self concious i really am which is good i guess..
but i dont know what to do :P *sigh* oh well
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
In terms of links, try reading the making new friends on the site. Also, as you're starting at uni, it might be worth reading the answer to this question.
My advice is you have the perfect opportunity, when you go off to uni, to reinvent yourself and be more confident! Just remember to always be yourself and people will love you!
Good luck and let me know how you get on!!
I'm naturally quite shy, especially in large groups, but I find that the only way to remedy it is to just say "fuck it" and strike up a conversation with people or make a random stupid joke in a large group. You'll find that literally forcing yourself to do this will help you overcome your shyness. In bigger groups you can always just contribute to the conversation without necessarily being the focus of everyone's attention, you can let the more outspoken do most of the talking but you can say things every now and again too!
The worst thing to do is just wait around until someone wants to make friends with you, becuase in general thatll end in misery! You have to really force yourself to make an effort and just crush that shyness that is holding you back, once you've done it you'll find it easier and easier and the awkwardness will just fade away!
plus i dont photograph very well :P
PERSONALLY i dont think i look THAT bad, but its just when people say nasty/crude things when i walk past or something, my self confidence just gets lower and lower and lower! noone has actually said anything straight to my face though which is something.. but that doesnt stop how i feel about myself
Since you are starting uni I am assuming that you will be moving into halls? If you are, remember every single one of the people there are in exactly the same boat as you. Be forward with people - as much as it hurts. Say hello and shake their hand, ask them where they are from, what they are doing at uni blah blah blah. The usual introductory stuff. When I started uni, I was dreading it. Absolutely terrified. But here I am in 2nd year with quite a few close friends.
I wish I had the opportunity to live in halls as I feel I would have met more diverse people, it is an opportunity you cannot miss. And when you are there, join as many clubs and societies as poss and have fun.........
I am testimount to the fact that shyness can be overcome.......
This is me, after a hard slog in Superdrug shouting at the staff!!!! :mad:
At least my hair stayed in place 13 hours after doing it!!
having questions prepared in your head to ask people help and show interest in people - people warm to people interested in them.
or you could do what my sister did - get to halls an hour after everyone else, walk in with a massive tin of chocs and a bottle of wine and yell " my mummy bought these so you would all like me -who wants to be my friend? "
Where are you going to uni? Maybe i or someone else on this site has a friend who could meet up with you and help get you settled in?
I know it's a long way off but it would help if you had someone to talk to now, it might help with the build up to the move away from home!
im actually going to glamorgan uni near cardiff
and i must say, listening to everyones advice and opinions is working quite well
hopefully if i keep visiting this site and boards ill build up a bit more knowledge about meeting people and being a lot less shyer than i am now!... hopefully..
above all be honest kind and generous ...without being a doormat.
above all be honest about your lacks ...that way you will find the right soul mates ...
think of a genteel doctor going into jail for one disastorous mad moment in his life where he fell asleep at the wheel ...ploughed onto a railway line killing tens of people ...all his fault.
how is such a nice guy ...who realy realy now has no confidence of even being alive in a weeks time cope?
he doesn't pretend to be razor rick from the east end ...he knows he can't pretend ...how does he cope?
he is honest and giving ...he meets many like minded people ...
ok so i'm rambling a bit here ...be honest above all else and you'll be fine.
ps 50% of your fellow students will be feeling exactly the same right about now.
to many people see shyness as a problem they have, without ever considering wether or not it is actualy an asset.
the world would be boring with nothing but confident people.
you will find your place in the working of things.
as you get older you come to realise that you don't have to be big ...or clever ...or popular ...or good looking and a host of other shit ...to be happy.
happy inside in a deep and warm and meaningful way.
the egos ...that get let down almost by the hour ...may apear to be happy ...usualy they are only good at having pleasure.
happiness belongs to the meek ...