Home Drink & Drugs
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Let's talk about me!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry about the title of the post, but I'm feeling the need for some support right now. I have a date for admission to rehab, finally (Jan 3rd).

The problem is that I've relapsed 3 times since I got clean at the end of September, and each one gets worse. I'm currently at the tail end of a 4 day bender (I'm a cocaine injector, for those who don't know). I'm scared that I'll relapse again, and if it happens, it will go too far.

I don't have much of a support system right now, other than my family. I did have one, but a former friend and fellow user decided to tell everyone I know about my problem after we had an arguement. There is so much stigma attached to IV use, nobody will speak to me.

I want to beat this, but I'm feeling out of control at the moment. I'm really grateful to have this palce, where I can be totally honest and anonymous.

Somebody tell me I'll be OK!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Burnout_Girl:
    Sorry about the title of the post, but I'm feeling the need for some support right now. I have a date for admission to rehab, finally (Jan 3rd).

    The problem is that I've relapsed 3 times since I got clean at the end of September, and each one gets worse. I'm currently at the tail end of a 4 day bender (I'm a cocaine injector, for those who don't know). I'm scared that I'll relapse again, and if it happens, it will go too far.

    I don't have much of a support system right now, other than my family. I did have one, but a former friend and fellow user decided to tell everyone I know about my problem after we had an arguement. There is so much stigma attached to IV use, nobody will speak to me.

    I want to beat this, but I'm feeling out of control at the moment. I'm really grateful to have this palce, where I can be totally honest and anonymous.

    Somebody tell me I'll be OK!

    Hey burnout, you'll be OK {{{{Burnout_Girl}}}.

    You've got alot of support here, it's a great place, because, like you say, you can be totally honest and anonymous without worrying about anyone telling anyone you know.

    There are things I've said on here that I would be embarassed if people in the outside world heard me say! But it's OK here. I've made more friends here than I've made in the last few years elsewhere and you can really vent without any feelings of guilt.

    It's really good to hear that you've got a date, and I'm sure that more than just me will be thinking of you on the 3rd.

    Any time you feel desperate, just log on & tell us all how you feel & if you have messenger, message us & have a real time chat.

    Good luck Burnout_Girl, we are with you. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!

    Im sure you will be ok.
    Liek j9 said im sure all the good guys on here will support you including mwa.
    I really hope you have a good xmas as well and try not to worry about it too much.
    I think if you really dont want to relapse again you wont and well all be here to help you no to.
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    burnout girl - I won't say you're going to be fine cuz no one can promise you that. But if you try its all anyone can ask for and it sounds like you're really trying. That's great. Good luck, we'll all be thinking of ya <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    [This message has been edited by trancegrrl (edited 07-12-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry, we're all rooting for you. You may have relapsed before, but this time you have thesite behind you. Feel the Force!. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Oh, one more thing... YOU'LL BE OK. Come and talk whenever you need to.

    sorted m8. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Burnout...
    sorry it's taken a while to reply, just kinda bad memories.
    Allthough I never injected coke n dont know ppl who have, I was injecting heroin not so long ago.
    I know the stigma attatched that every1 dumps u, but it's beatable, I'm proof of that.
    Not easy to give up proper but what I found was that too stop injecting was the start.

    Everything will b ok. If ya ever need n e 1 to talk to ther's ppl here n they're a good bunch o ppl n know what they're talking about.

    Good luck in rehab... I'm thinking of going to a drugs councellor myself too to get off an on/off long term crack habit. I think knowing u gotta get off it is half the thing.. Realise u got ppl to live for, things to do in life and what u could b doing... it's deppressing thought but it does build up ur will to quit.

    Good luck n keep in touch <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Burnout...Just wanna wish u the best of luck and let u no that there r poeple that care (as u can see from your replies). I never injected coke, but I did with speed and I have a pretty bad coke/crack habit beofre I got pregnant. Its so hard to get clean and everyone has relapses but dont let it get u down. It dosent make u a falure, as long as u learnt from it, and just the fact u feel the way u do says that u do wanna get better (thats all u need to get off drugs- just wanting to do it). And if it makes u feel any better I relapsed a few times too, but I realise that nobody can realisticly just get clean and not have times when they look back.
    Anyway, I really hope that things work for u and u give it your best shot. Its so worth it in the end and u deserve to be happy in life (and thats not just when u r high!).
    Lots of love lolly xxx

    ps- Daze a totally agree with your post and I hope that u r able to combat your problem too...take care <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thnx Lolly <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anytime <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all the support. I'm feeling better about things today, and I know that I'll beat this addiction eventually.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Burnout_Girl:
    Thanks for all the support. I'm feeling better about things today, and I know that I'll beat this addiction eventually.


    Stand in front of the mirror & say that every day <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Burnout_Girl:
    Thanks for all the support. I'm feeling better about things today, and I know that I'll beat this addiction eventually.
    {{{{{{{{BurnoutGirl}}}}}}}} Good for you!! you deserve the best and an escape from this thing. You can do this when you feelin that your belief is becoming a shrinking violet, think of us all at thesite, we'll all be thinking of you and look forward to the new burnout girl. Remember we're all here.

    Wishing you the best
    Love & Peace
    LUKA
    The river is wide and oh so deep
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If the post from "blade" seems odd, let me explain. As I mentioned in the original post, a former friend had decided to tell everyone I knew that I was using because she was pissed off at me about something. In fact, she way beyond that and told several hurtful lies. As result I lost my support system. The ironic thing is that this is the woman I used to use with and who was my connection to the dealers. She still uses. Think she mentioned any of that? Not a chance.

    Apparently, instead of speaking to me directly, she decided to use another person's account ("blade" is a mutual friend) and post here. I've responded to her ridiculous message privately, which is what she should have used for a personal message. Not appropriate for a group discussion, and certainly not appropriate for a place where I come for support.

    Anyhow, I have good news. I am starting my program earlier. I go in tomorrow morning. I'm thrilled that I will finally ahve the chance to concentrate on nothing but myself and my recovery. I'm going to miss the encouragement I get here. You guys have been a bigger help than you can ever imagine.I'm not sure that I'll have internet access intreatment, so I want to say goodbye (temporarily).

    Again, thanks for your honest opinions and support over the past few months. I'm going to miss you.

    I'm also going to beat this thing, and when I come back, I'll be clean and able to do anything I want!

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's really good to hear that your admission has been brought forward <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">.

    Good luck for tomorrow.

    about the blade post - I did think it was a little odd, but I realised at the end, that it wasn't really blade.

    When you get better you can say "up yours" lol.

    Don't worry about support, you can get plenty of that here, and plenty of congratulations when you come back. & if I were in your situation I wouldn't talk to the poster who uses blade's ID when you get clean, true friends accept the difficult times along with the fun & easy times.

    Maybe you could get blade to make posts for you, to give us updates on how you are doing (if you can trust blade after giving the ID to that other person :0P

    See you soon, good luck again

    j9



    [This message has been edited by j9j9 (edited 14-12-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh man good luck i know it is hard as shit. just dont get close to the stuff. cuz if it is in front of u all hell will break loose. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"&gt;
Sign In or Register to comment.