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People who can fix anything

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, who do you feel are the people you could call on, in any kind of crisis and have it sorted? Im talking guardian angels, Uber-persons able to rescue you from the depths of the most perrilous predictaments.


For me its gotta be; The Ninjas....ninjas can solve anything...need some pesky lecturer taken out? Ninja blow-pipe from the bushes!

Would you start a fight in a club with unseen and deadly doorstaff?...ARMED WITH SHURIKANS THAT ARE TIPPED WITH THE VENOM OF POISONOUS FROGS?!?!?!...course you wouldnt.

As a kid would you even have tried cigarrettes if you knew that your mum had employed some stealthy masters of the black arts to follow your every move in shadow...course you wouldnt..;)

thats my choice, for every problem...send in the ninjas...

who would you have to right the problems of the world?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bob seems to fix alot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    2 things sort everything out. ashes my acoustic guitar and love.

    i need to get out more.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Jim.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    Skive wrote:
    Jim.
    V?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dr Pirate wrote:
    V?

    :no:
    Shame on you. Jimmie Saville is the only man who can fix it.
    For you. And you. And you.
    And bubah-bah! etc.
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    I know he ment Jimmy saville, I was attempting to be humerous. I Failed
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Hm... The Guardians of the world? :p (If such beings exist)
    Seriously, I have no idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ....the anthill mob you would'nt wanna fuck with....who'd win in a ruck between the anthill mob and the A Team?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about your Dad?

    *is sticking up for fathers everywhere*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about your Dad?

    *is sticking up for fathers everywhere*

    I do all the fixing for my family ;) My dad can't fix anything, my sister can't change a lightbulb, my mum can do bits and pieces but i'm the one who does it all ;p Motorbikes, flooring, electricals - the lot.

    You fathers should be ashamed :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fathers can be ninjas....they're very secretive, how would'ja know? :confused::D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my father seems too break more things than fix things :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rossco wrote:
    my father seems too break more things than fix things :rolleyes:

    Ditto - except rather than try to fix them its just a case of "ADAM THE TV AIN'T WORKIN M8" or "WTF MAN WHY HAS THE GARDEN GATE FALLEN OFF, GET IT FIXED NUB" :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, who do you feel are the people you could call on, in any kind of crisis and have it sorted? Im talking guardian angels, Uber-persons able to rescue you from the depths of the most perrilous predictaments.


    For me its gotta be; The Ninjas....ninjas can solve anything...need some pesky lecturer taken out? Ninja blow-pipe from the bushes!

    Would you start a fight in a club with unseen and deadly doorstaff?...ARMED WITH SHURIKANS THAT ARE TIPPED WITH THE VENOM OF POISONOUS FROGS?!?!?!...course you wouldnt.

    As a kid would you even have tried cigarrettes if you knew that your mum had employed some stealthy masters of the black arts to follow your every move in shadow...course you wouldnt..;)

    thats my choice, for every problem...send in the ninjas...

    who would you have to right the problems of the world?

    Could your ninjas fix an ikea flatpack which has bits missing and only came with swedish instructions?

    What about fixing my bike that mysteriously punctures every time i ride it, even though i cant and i used to be a bike mechanic? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My dad knows pretty much everything there is to know and can fix many many things. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could your ninjas fix an ikea flatpack which has bits missing and only came with swedish instructions?

    yes. thus...

    you call the 'ninja hotline' explain your problem, and directly after that you hear a gong...

    by the time you get back into the living room, you hear a few swishes and utterances of 'hoi!' and they are already there.

    The master places his hand on the swedish tome and deciphers its content.

    In a blur of speed large slabs of MDF are compiled in the correct manner, and in the blink of an eye they turn around, bow and leave through the open window....spookey.. :D
    What about fixing my bike that mysteriously punctures every time i ride it, even though i cant and i used to be a bike mechanic?

    yes... from the bushes comes a shot of the ultra viscous sputum extracted from the ancient and mysterious vietnamese tree frog, sealing up all holes forever more :D...all executed by the trusty ninja blow pipe :D
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    And then you find they've assebled your table into a wardrobe. D'oh!

    I'd call an assasin. After all:

    Death solves all problems. No man, no problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr Miffy seems to be able to turn his hand to anything. It's quite astounding really. He reads up on it and off he goes.

    I've never met anyone like it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miffy wrote:
    Mr Miffy seems to be able to turn his hand to anything. It's quite astounding really. He reads up on it and off he goes.

    I've never met anyone like it.
    i'm like that.
    roofing ...read up ...get the job done.
    electrical plastering pc's cooking plumbing etc etc etc etc ...turn my hand to whatever the situation is i suppose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm like that.
    roofing ...read up ...get the job done.
    electrical plastering pc's cooking plumbing etc etc etc etc ...turn my hand to whatever the situation is i suppose.

    Handy fella to have around then! Like my other half.

    All the different stuff Mr M knows about is amazing too. In fact he never fails to impress me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tommy_C wrote:
    What about fixing my bike that mysteriously punctures every time i ride it, even though i cant and i used to be a bike mechanic? :confused:

    Right, you either

    1) Have something sharp stuck in your tire, maybe in the casing. Get a bucket of soapy water and wash the inside, and outside out, check for glass and pins, anything that could cause a puncture when under pressure.

    2) Have worn tires. Worn tires puncture easily. Only one solution to this i'm afraid, buy some new ones.

    3) Have a hole in your tire, maybe caused by an initial puncture. Again, either buy some new ones or if you're hardcore and it ain't in a place where too much pressure gets put on it, sew it up with fishing wire.

    4) Have untrue wheels, and the spokes are digging into the inner tube. Not usually a problem, but give them a good truing anyway, they need it every few months or so. And replace your rim tape while you're at it.

    5) Have too big a tire on too small a rim, causing snakebites. Or too small a tire. You can usually tell if this is the case.

    Best solution i can advise for in future to prevent punctures almost completely is to get old tires, cut the sidewalls/beading off, and put the bit thats left inside the casing of a good tire. Use some rubber solution, superglue etc to secure it if it messes you about too much.

    See, told you i could fix anything up :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm like that.
    roofing ...read up ...get the job done.
    electrical plastering pc's cooking plumbing etc etc etc etc ...turn my hand to whatever the situation is i suppose.
    come and sort my fuckin wall out then! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BaybehGrrl wrote:
    Haha, poofay thinks he knows things.

    I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.

    A duel of fixing shit :p

    You try spending christmas day jigsawing up your sister's units to get a double bed in that you had to put together, while in the middle of reassembling your PC inside a new case, and trying to hook up your new punchbag which came with clips but no hooks, while trying to get your 2 brothers and sister's boyfriend's new ipods to work on a pc that well, doesn't like ipods.

    GO ON I DAREZ YUO :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DEANO MAC wrote:
    come and sort my fuckin wall out then! :)
    in return for you fixing my wonky electric window on me motor maybe?
    cos i'm buggered if i can fix the thing!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in return for you fixing my wonky electric window on me motor maybe?
    cos i'm buggered if i can fix the thing!
    your on! sort it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Doofay wrote:
    Right, you either

    1) Have something sharp stuck in your tire, maybe in the casing. Get a bucket of soapy water and wash the inside, and outside out, check for glass and pins, anything that could cause a puncture when under pressure.

    2) Have worn tires. Worn tires puncture easily. Only one solution to this i'm afraid, buy some new ones.

    3) Have a hole in your tire, maybe caused by an initial puncture. Again, either buy some new ones or if you're hardcore and it ain't in a place where too much pressure gets put on it, sew it up with fishing wire.

    4) Have untrue wheels, and the spokes are digging into the inner tube. Not usually a problem, but give them a good truing anyway, they need it every few months or so. And replace your rim tape while you're at it.

    5) Have too big a tire on too small a rim, causing snakebites. Or too small a tire. You can usually tell if this is the case.

    Best solution i can advise for in future to prevent punctures almost completely is to get old tires, cut the sidewalls/beading off, and put the bit thats left inside the casing of a good tire. Use some rubber solution, superglue etc to secure it if it messes you about too much.

    See, told you i could fix anything up :p

    Tyres are fairly new, ive already checked the inside of the tyres repeatedly, have added loads of tape to cover the spoke nipples.

    I used too do the extra layer trick with old inner tubes, this bikes a road bike though so it has narrow tyres, not sure if it would work and it would add wieght.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote:
    And then you find they've assebled your table into a wardrobe. D'oh!

    I'd call an assasin. After all:

    Death solves all problems. No man, no problem.

    I dont think killing the head management of ikea would solve the problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tommy_C wrote:
    Tyres are fairly new, ive already checked the inside of the tyres repeatedly, have added loads of tape to cover the spoke nipples.

    I used too do the extra layer trick with old inner tubes, this bikes a road bike though so it has narrow tyres, not sure if it would work and it would add wieght.

    It would add a tad of weight, yes. But we're talking grams, not kilos. If it really matters to you that much, then don't do it, but if you want the peace of mind i'd go for it.

    Replaced the inner tubes since they started popping? And what was the size of the original tires on your bike when you got them? For instance, i shoved 2.25s on my bike which originally had 1.95's on, and i was getting snakebites every time i did a drop of more than about 3 or 4 foot, landing at an angle, etc.

    Tried giving the inner walls of your rim a quick sanding? You can get hold of "slime" for tires, but i think its mostly speculation. You shove it on your tire valve and it fills it with green goop, which upon rotating your wheel for a few goes spreads about. But the amount of times i've seen people with one huge clump of the stuff on one bit makes me think its useless.

    Is the route you take particularily glassy/coarse, etc?
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    It'd make me feel better. :)

    And did I say the managment of Ikea? If I were dead, there would be no problem, as I wouldn't be wanting the table type device in the first place! :lol:

    I never got now people get confused with flatpack. You simply screw it together. I don't need instructions and I made a chest of drawers and some shelves.

    As long as it isn't sqaure, that is. Then you can't tell side A from the others.
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