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was he only after one thing?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, not sure if this is in the right forum but here goes. i met a bloke last night and went back to his, i was very horny as its been a while and couldnt resist. we did everything but full sex and in the morning he drove me home and we exchanged numbers and said he would come round later. i havent heard anything from him dont want to seem desperate so how long should i leave it before i get in touch or should i just accept he wanted me just for one night? thanx hope someone can help x
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Presumably you enjoyed the night yes?

    So it doesn't really matter if he rings you or not.
    how long should i leave it before i get in touch or should i just accept he wanted me just for one night?

    It's up to you. There's no point fucking about thinking "oo will i appear desperate if I ring now, or in two hours, or two days". If you want to ring then just fucking ring. Life's too short.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in my opinion, i would throw his number away. If he rings and wants to meet up again, than great! but if he doesn't don't worry about it. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx for the advice i will try and resist the urge to play with my phone, yet again its the bain of technology, what did i use to fret over before mobiles he he
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, it was last night after all, 24 hours ago in effect. Give the guy a bit more time. If he hasn't called by Monday, you can be certain he was a loser that was after only one thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Well, it was last night after all, 24 hours ago in effect. Give the guy a bit more time. If he hasn't called by Monday, you can be certain he was a loser that was after only one thing.

    Why is he a loser? She is saying that she was stupidly horny and wanted a night of fun, so why should he be any different?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I refer to him as an alleged loser because I believe that men who go around having sex with women and never contacting them again should be ashamed of themselves. I try to keep some distance between my personal views and the comments I express here, but ultimately the two will collide from time to time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just because he doesn't call back doesn't make him a loser, it just means he's having fun being single so there's no need to go into all the bullshit of starting to talk to her, is there?
    But how can you know that for certain? I can't. The only person who does know is himself. I stand by my original point of giving him a little more time to get in touch. Maybe he's suddenly got a case of the jitters. I'm just clutching at straws here, admittedly, but clearly the two of us have very different views on men and women.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think of him as loser coz at the end of the day it was mutual decission to do what we did and at the end of the day i think ur right that a relationship is not likely to occur out of doing what i did. but hey it was good and doesnt stop me hoping he could be a possible fuck buddy if nothing else . . . maybe thats what i should text and suggest to him he he
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I refer to him as an alleged loser because I believe that men who go around having sex with women and never contacting them again should be ashamed of themselves.
    why are we ganging up on the men here? think about it.... women do the exact same thing to the guys
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why are we ganging up on the men here? think about it.... women do the exact same thing to the guys
    I accept that goes on, but I'm talking here about this specific situation, that's all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MMM... have been guilty of this im ashamed to say. I pulled a girl who I had fancied for ages in a nightclub, I walked her home along with her friend. The girl I was with seemed to be losing interest and made her excuses not even an exchange of numbers once we got to her place. Oh well I was a bit worse for wear and accepted defeat and walked her friend home.

    We get to her friends place and she invites me in for coffee. She was an attractive girl although not really what I would choose. What the hell I thought if she has the same idea as me, were all adults and we were both horny!!

    We of course slept togeather and it was great. We enjoyed the lay in, chatting and cuddles in the morning. She was a really nice girl but just wasnt my type, she kinda picked me and i chose her friend. She gave me her number and asked me to call her.

    Maybe its right to call and tell someone that you don't to get into anything and let them know whats going on, its just hard to find a way of doing so. Even more so if the other party is a nice person. I was a wimp and should have explained to her somehow. Maybe she wasnt bothered anyway I guess I will never know.

    We both enjoyed the night I hope she put it down to a night of fun which we both wanted as I did.

    I would say this guy has done the same as I did and probably feels bad about it. If he calls then cool but dont chase him. In my experience if you are with someone you really like you are calling back at the earliest chance. If he leaves it ages and then calls you up one night then you know what he is after so avoid unless you only want the same thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's because men are born to be horney and have lots of sex and women are born to settle and be pregnant that it always seems men do these things to women.
    As I say, our views about men and women are clearly different and I would disagree with your analysis.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    'I would say this guy has done the same as I did and probably feels bad about it. If he calls then cool but dont chase him. In my experience if you are with someone you really like you are calling back at the earliest chance. If he leaves it ages and then calls you up one night then you know what he is after so avoid unless you only want the same thing' thanx the cure, thats has prob made the most sense and told me what i needed to do, not chase him. just didnt want to miss out on a good session again. so should a girl always wait for the men to do the chasing? not just in this situation but in general?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If a session is all you want them let him know that. He will probably be back for more. He must have been sexually attracted to you if hes been with you before, probably just dont want a relationship with you and thinks seeing you again would mean you expect to get involved. Just make sure he don't already have a GF. Im fairly open minded but cheating with someone elses partner is wrong.

    If its what you want then just make sure you play safe and you have it in your head its just sex which could only be as long as he finds a GF no more.

    If this is the case this guy owes me big time lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got lots of friends who go out clubbing 2 or 3 times a week looking for sex and fun. He fits the description. Harsh but true.
    ah im not niave, i know these men exist and to be honest i go out sometimes looking to pull for fun. i just wanted to check what the rules were on contact afterwards but that seems to have been covered. thanx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't say there are 'rules' as such but generally if it was a no strings attached one night thing, then just delete his number and get on with things - exchanging numbers is usually one of those polite things, nothing more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see i would say it was dependent on wether the number was offered or asked for?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not sure if i've missed someone else saying this but i don't think he'd have given you his number if he didn't want to hear from you.

    perhaps that's just me!

    i know easier said than done, but give him a day or 2. and then if you want to txt, txt. chances are though you'll txt him tomorrow. i know i would!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    girls can be just as bad as men. I have done it! A guy really liked me, chased me for ages I had sex with him then never spoke again, I didn't fancy him and it was very wrong of me to lead him on. I think that u should wait till the guy phones u, or if u are just interested in having him as a fuck buddy, txt him and let him know, U only live once and should have as much fun as possible! if blokes can so can us women! :flirt:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see i would say it was dependent on wether the number was offered or asked for?
    the number was offered which is where i was a tad confused, coz i no longer ask for numbers because i never knew when to text but obviously that little rule of my own hasnt worked he he!! and he was the one that kept going on about seeing me again, hmm men are confusing, but i spose so are us women before i start another sexist debate x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if he offered the number then i would make ONE call or text, and if it came to nothing then id forget him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, i wouldn't stress! Been in the same position myself and to be honest he's probably waiting to hear from you! Did he give you any indication as to whether he wanted to see you again apart from when he dropped you home?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    God why do you people make it so complicated!!!!

    Its simple really. If you like him, text him, ring him whatever. Whatever you do dont play this ridiculous game of waiting a number of days because you think it'll look desperate.
    From a blokes point of view i like when the girl texts, it shows she's interested. If she doesnt, i assume she's not. I dont subscribe to this desperate-ness argument. Girls, bit of advice. If you dont call we assume you aint bothered.

    Stargalaxy - your posts are moronic, clueless and show you have no idea whatsoever when it comes to the opposite sex. Sometimes i think you're female for christ sake. Will you stop sitting on the pissing fence and making out all blokes are arseholes. If you hadnt noticed, this is a sex board. As you have no experience with the opposite sex id suggest you steer clear, you make yourself look pathetic

    So. Love, if you fancy him, wanna shag, wanna go out, ring him. If he's not interested its not the end of the world, its life. You win some, you lose some, its how you respond that matters.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fuck it- you live once, ring him, don't text cos you need and honest answer. It might not even be his number. Only ring once but leave a msg if he doesnt answer. If his phone's turned off, you get another chance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On Saturday, I said give him a chance to reply. If he hasn't replied by the end of today, make sure he's history.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he offered you his number, then phone him. There's a possibility, he could be waiting for your call... which is why you aint heard from him. Guys can be shy as well.

    Good Luck hun! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stargalaxy. Yet again a classic post from yourself.

    So YOU said on saturday if he hasnt contacted her by today then thats it?

    Just tell me why someone should accept advice from someone who has never had any action whatesoever.
    You have no clue what you are talking about.

    What if the geezer really likes her but doesnt want to call cos he's nervous about it?
    What if he's on holiday or something.

    You astound me, you really do.
    Keep your ridiculous advice to yourself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tommo24 wrote:
    Stargalaxy. Yet again a classic post from yourself.
    Just tell me why someone should accept advice from someone who has never had any action whatesoever. You have no clue what you are talking about. You astound me, you really do. Keep your ridiculous advice to yourself
    You've already been banned once for insulting me on the boards, do you want to see an encore?
    :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    come on ring him n let us know!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would advise not to ring him. In my experience, if a guy is bothered, he will call you himself. How can he be shy when you have already slept together and it's fairly clear you like him?

    Having said that, I hope you prove my theory wrong and he was just trying to be cool.
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