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i think something is wrong with me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
me and my bf have been going out for 4 months now, and for about 3 months of that we've been trying to have sex, but it hasnt worked. We've tried about 15 times and it just wont go in. we've tried ky jelly and he does really turn me on it's just not happening and i don't know what to do and it's really stressing me out, i think i will be a virgin 4eva <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

please help.

There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/flowerface.gif"&gt;

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you stress about it, the less likely it is that it will happen.

    Dont try to have sex, just cuddle and caress each other- if you dont make penetration your aim then itll be easier. Do other stuff, and itll happen naturally. Panic and tension make it 100 times harder.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've heard of a psychological problem that makes it so you can't have sex. It's like your mind causes your body to tense up. Either you are really nervous or I have heard of women who have this who were brought up in really strict religious houses. Even though they wanted to have sex, it's like what they had been told in the past was keeping them back. Maybe you should see your doctor. Hope this helps <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We always do other stuff kermit. even when i am really relaxed and i really this "this is it" it still doesn't work.

    Isabellejean, that sounds interesting but i really dont think i could see my doctor.

    please keep replying <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;



    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/flowerface.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and m ex had this problem, it's partly why we split up <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    Just try to relax (easier said than done i know!) and take your time. Don't plan when to have sex, just let it happen.

    *~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif"&gt;

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why not just make it go in....

    make sure he's damn hard

    part ur pussy urself, open up the lips and try and guide him in. keep ur legs wide and if necessary use ky like u have been

    then it'll go in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry, this happens to everyone. I don't know if u've tried this or if u'd feel comfortable trying it, but do it with u on top? That way it's much easier for u to guide him in and get in the right position.

    Good luck, and don't let it get you down!

    Love 'n' snuggles,

    Mags
    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe you just have a really tough hymen? Mine was a pretty tough nut to crack. Can you insert tampons?

    Don't take it personally, sex is a learning curve. You've no idea some of the ridiculus disasters I've had. My advice is to keep a sense of humour. Taking sex too seriously gets everyone tense and under pressure. Learn to laugh in the face of embarrassing moments, if he doesn't understand, he's not worth your time and effort. I know this is easier said than done but don't give up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't really know what to say drifter. i mean everyone is different, and some people find penetration so much easier than others. i found it hardest on my first time. i just wondered (it's not always relevant), is he a virgin as well?

    also, if he has penetrated you with a finger, you might find that easier, just because a finger is obviously thinner than a penis (usually, lol). and if you use tampons and/or do a lot of sport it is supposed to be easier.

    basically, like everyone else has said, try totally relaxing, playing the right music, maybe even candles?, and whatever else to really set the mood.

    also, i'm not being funny with you or doubting you, but, are you sure you're ready?

    hope that sort of helped <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You shouldnt think anything is wrong with you. Maybe it is your boyfriend? He may also be nervous and trying too hard? If you try to forget about it for a while, it will come naturally. Hope this helps.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my gf were having this touble a while back. It tends to be nerves to begin with but I found the failure to actually have sex made me frustrated, angry and worried. This obviously justmade things worse.

    99.9% that this will just be something psychological, best to just concentrate on the foreplay, stripping down to less clothes etc. That way if you were to end up in the right position for sex you should both be relaxed and horny enough for you to just guidde it in. Just pretedns like your masturbating - get closer and closer until its just going in.

    Incidently what form of contraception do you use - I personally found using condoms did not help and my gf being on the pill helps things along alot <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    its not illegal til u get caught <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/monkbum.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~*Heaven Scent*~ - im sorry that’s why you and your bf broke up <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    *ád înfînîtûm* - “why not just make it go in”? im trying! We have tried those things and it hasn’t worked.

    Mags – yeah we have tried it with me on top, and the force of me pushing down on it, trying to get it in made him loose his erection.

    Kaz – yeah I use tampons but even they hurt sometimes when I put them in.

    Charley – yeah he has penetrated me with a finger, but even that hurts sometimes and when u compare that to the size of a willy, I can’t see it going in at all. I am definitely ready, I love him with all my heart.

    Spicy – maybe it’s not entirely my fault.

    fJear M3 – I know exactly how u feel those r the feelings that we r both experiencing. We use condoms, we both don’t like the pill. Condoms are a major problem though, killing the moment and he says he can’t feel anything thru them, so we got some new durex ones made of lighter material and they r better but its not exactly ideal.


    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/flowerface.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well Drifter, it worked out good for me in the end so good luck to you!!!
    If your neither of you are up for the pill then those lighter material condoms will hopefully do the trick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's a tough one, Drifter. It took me a while, too. Are you dry? At certain times of the month I am and then it just ain't happening. Once, we started with my finger, then his, then gradually two and then three fingers. Really slowly, though, over about half an hour. As you're with someone you love this can be a nice relaxing time of intimacy. I wish you the best of luck, honey, persevere.

    Failing all this, get drunk or take an e <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Drifter,
    I had a hard time losing my virginity, too. It wouldn't work at first. My hymen was really tough and we had to try several times before it worked and then several times before it was nice. So don't worry. As for condoms, I don't think that's the main problem. If you use lubrication they should be fine. With you it's probably a combination of psychological problems ("will it work this time", "what will he think"), a tough hymen and condoms. So maybe you have to just try to get his penis inside you without the idea of having sex, just to 'clear the way'. Once the hymen is gone things will be a lot easier! But I know that it's easy to give you advice like this. But talk this over with your boyfriend. He should know all about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks 4 all the advice guys, but i am going to go to the doctor, it is not normal.

    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/flowerface.gif"&gt;
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