First everything

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm really sorry, you must be hurting so much right now and there aren't any words I can speak that will ease that pain for you.

    I know it won't help, very little will, but there are many people who've experienced your pain so we know what you're going through.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nothing really helps in this situation, but although it sounds corny - time is a great healer and you will feel better
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing any of us can say to make you feel better, but try not to get too down, stay busy if you can, and give it time. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Havent you got some friends who can help you through?
    You need lots of hugs and lots of attention.
    Anything that reminds you of him i guess you should put out the way.
    Maybe you could get something to help you sleep from the doctor or just chemist.

    Nows the time for you to learn about yourself, be selfish and do whatever makes you feel good.

    Its normal to feel so upset and hurt.
    Try focus on all the good stuff...

    Sorry am not much good with advice bout this kinda stuff!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in a similar situation, but I keep myself very busy with my mates, studies, etc, and it helps a lot. Of course, you will get upset, but over time, it gets easier, honest!
    You may end up getting back together, but think about the reasons you broke up, and if that would be a good idea- you might end up in this situation all over again. And do you actually miss him, or just being in a relationship? Those are questions I keep asking myslef.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah, your mates aren't being very helpful! They should make you eat lots of choccie and watch The OC box set...
    But seriously, Valentines Days is a commercial nightmare, and actually has no relevance to life, and doesn't even matter, so just ignore it and focus on sorting yourself out. I hope you start feeling cheerier soon... I have bad days too (I broke up with my boyfriend after 3 years about 5 weeks ago), but it does improve. Honest! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    (((Hugs)))

    I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

    Time is a great healer :)

    Have you talked through why you two broke up? Might that help?

    Hope things start looking up for you soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm afraid what SweetSurrender says is true, time is a great healer, and quite possibly the only one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    swank wrote:
    Its gotten worse, he didnt come online last night after 11 (when he finished college) and all I could think was "whos he with??" and I woke up to a message on msn saying "why you still online at this time?" (I'd left my pc on) and it was like 2:50am he said he'd been for a curry... a curry till then??

    Ooook. Things aren't going to get better unless you stop being so friendly with him. You need to block him on MSN for a while and get yourself busy. Hang out with friends (they don't need to mention your breakup and nor do you!), go shopping, read some good books, watch films you've always wanted to see but never founf the time for, throw yourself into study/work. Trust me, trying to be friends too soon will not help with the healing process. You need some time on your own to really reflect on what has happened. Crying and feeling sad is more than ok, it is part of moving on.

    From recent experience you can't be friends with an ex boyfriend for a while. Leave things between you for a few months and if you want to be mates it'll be a whole lot easier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i just found it easier to just not speak to the person. gave me time to get over it.

    unfortunately, as you have broken up he is likely to go out with other girls, its tough but you have to accept it.
    you will feel better in a few weeks, is there a hobby you could take up that he perhaps prevented you from doing in one way or another when you were together?

    when my ex broke up with me i got really into horses - when your falling in love with something else it doesnt hurt so much!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why did you break up?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you will feel better in a few weeks

    Not always the case. I was in a daze for four or five months. I'm onoy just starting to not think about him 24/7!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awwwww *hugs*

    I know exactly how you feel, you think the world is going to end and your never going to get through the day, but the world isnt going to end and you will get through the day. Time is a great healer, dont push yourself into getting over him, time will make you get over him. Maybe your friends aren't being a great help, but maybe try going to the cinema with them and just ask them not to mention your break up. Go out to pizza hut with your friends and have a giggle or something, anything to stop you staying indoors thinking about it. It's ok to cry you know, it will make you feel better to let it all out. Dont be afraid or embarrassed to cry, even if you are in public, because you are going through a difficult time and crying is only natural. Although it is hard, don't speak to your ex. It will be really tough, but trying to be friends with an ex straight after you have split up is never going to work. Keep yourself busy, have some quality 'me' time, run yourself a nice bath and play some nice music and just relax. I know it will be hard, it's never going to be easy but the only thing that will make it better is time. It sounds stupid but it is true. Time is probably the only healer. This has all come from personal experience, I thought my whole life had come crashing down around me when really it hadn't. I tried being friends with my ex and that just made everything worse, but now, a year on, me and my ex are great friends, even though he has a new girlfriend.

    I hope I have been a bit of help, PM me if you want. I hope you feel better soon. And remember, smile :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww,poor u *hugs*

    been through the exactly the same thing and I know that whatever screeds I write here will make very little difference because - if you're anything like me - you'll be so unhappy that all you can think about is your unhappiness.

    it really does help if your mantra becomes "they're all bastards,fucking dirty bastards" :yes:

    cheer up luv'! :heart:



    for the men reading this,I know you're not bastards. the only men who are bastards are the men we choose. please don't take offence!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    swank wrote:
    I was with him 18 months. First boyfriend... person I lost my virginity to... and now just an ex boyfriend and... oh god I feel so down I miss him already I don't know how to cope with this I'm in so much pain.

    I had the same situation, with the girl I lost mine to for about 18 months, it hurts, it might hurt for a few weeks to come. A lot of good advice here, and I know it's hard to believe now, but as people have said, it takes time. It's like grieving the loss of someone; there is the initial period of shock/upset/depression and gradually you work your way out of it. I guess I was depressed for 10-12 weeks maybe, and the paranoia you describe is totally normal, you'll probably be wondering where is, what he's doing, what girl he is hanging around with, and again that will subside with time.

    Also, you say about wanting him back rather than wanting to get over it, well again that is the natural reaction- you have felt close to someone for a long time and you can't just switch it off overnight and suddenly not care about someone. Dig in and keep your pecker up as best you can, good luck, I came out the other side a much better/wiser/stronger person and so will you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Again all this is good advice.... theres nothing i can say except for you will get over it and be happy again. When my x girlfriend of 2 yrs broke up wit me i was in a daze for all of the summer... but now i feel that things happen for a reason and theres good times ahead even if you dont see them at the moment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    swank wrote:
    I don't want to feel better I want him back :(
    yea, dont we all> :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no,they probably didn't read it all,but their hearts are in the right place which is what should count.

    anyways,I'm really happy for you that you and you're man are giving it another go. hope it all works out for you.

    xxx
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