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How Do You Decide?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 18 and have never had a job - I've had problems with social anxiety which I'm getting sorted.

However, I've always been one of those people who weren't particularly strong at anything at school - always 'okay' but never talented at anything.
Most of my friends are posh gits, and have fucked off to Uni with all their career ideas in tow.
I've never thought 'oh, I'm gonna be a maths tutor' or 'I wanna be a lawyer'. So I'm really panicking.

How do you decide on a career? I won't just 'work' though. I'm too pigheaded to be in a job I don't like or enjoy. But I seem to enjoy all the bullshit like music, makeup and singing. Nothing real, or anything you can take seriously, and I'm really stuck.

Any kind words of advice? Thanks, Ilora x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Work for HMV then, or the makeup counter at Boots.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How do you decide on a career? I won't just 'work' though. I'm too pigheaded to be in a job I don't like or enjoy. Nothing real, or anything you can take seriously, and I'm really stuck.
    It's bloody difficult, I'll admit that. I'm job-searching at the moment, and there is something about me which says I don't want to do certain jobs. For instance, my mum recently said that a chip shop was looking for staff. My immediate reaction was "No bloody way am I working in a bloody smelly chip shop!". I think you need to distinguish clearly between a job and a career. A job is what you need now. A career is something you can worry about later.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't have to decide yet, you're only young!

    Just try a few things that interest you and enjoy yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Few people know, and even those who do know change their minds.

    Sounds like you're after an excuse to not get off your arse and get a job to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're Stargalaxy with tits, yo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote:
    You're Stargalaxy with tits, yo.
    I'm getting incredibly annoyed by these comments. Anyone who has a problem with me personally can send me a Private Message to see if the problem can be sorted. Put up or shut up, 1983, you dolt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Few people know, and even those who do know change their minds.

    Sounds like you're after an excuse to not get off your arse and get a job to me.

    Yeah, work isn't exactly optional. Go out, take the first job you find, because even if you hate it, it's experience, and future employers will question exactly why you did nothing instead of finding employment. Work in a clothes shop. You may find it boring, but it's secure, routine and stable. Other than menial unskilled jobs, you can't really go for much else because you've never had a job - most employers would expect you to have worked, even as a saturday girl, at some point.

    I have no idea what I want to do, and yet I'm at Uni getting a degree to help me "do" whatever it is I want to do. At weekends, I work in a homewares shop. While I was at school I worked weekends in a clothes store, and as a 15 year old I sat typing numbers in in a stockroom for 10 hours a week. I started at the bottom, and now I'm doing well for a sales-assistant - I work for a good company who treat their employees well, I get paid a very fair wage for the skill my job demands and if I wanted to stay there, there would be a career in it.

    Sounds to be as though you need to get out and start doing something too, instead of sitting around thinking about what you want to do. You won't know if you like something until you try it, so try a variety of things over the next year, get some experience, meet some new people (99% of the time people who work together at the same level get along).

    Don't get disheartened if you get turned down a few times either - most 18 year olds have had some work experience so you're at a disadvantage, but somewhere's got to give you a try. The more experience you have, the more doors it opens. I'm the youngest sales assistant in my current job by three years, but they were impressed by the fact that I'd a) always had a job since the age of 15 and b) that I'd stuck with a company for over 3 years even though I was only 19 and c) I'd had more retail experience than most 22-year olds despite being only 19.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have only just decided what i want to do, age 23, and am now at uni doing it. worked in supermarket from school- it was money and experience and was so crap u have to make other decisions eventually. u also meet loads of nice people which will help with ur social probs. u dont have to decide what u want to do for the rest of ur life, just get a job and work from there
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u also meet loads of nice people which will help with ur social probs. u dont have to decide what u want to do for the rest of ur life, just get a job and work from there
    I can relate to this. The only reasons I want a job are to make some money and to make some friends. It's what I'm trying to do now...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How do you decide on a career? I won't just 'work' though. I'm too pigheaded to be in a job I don't like or enjoy.

    So how do you pay for things at the moment?

    Seriously, most people change vocations once they start work. Many people will get a job because they appreciate that you cannot live for free, or at least sponge off other people.

    Whilst working for one place you can then take time too look around until you find something you really want to do.

    Personally, I'd been working for about ten years before I finally found the career I really enjoyed and it certainly isn't what I had expected to be doing when I left school. All the experience I built up doing the other jobs helps me in this one, so I wouldn't say I regret any of them - even when I was a Poll Tax Collector :eek:
    But I seem to enjoy all the bullshit like music, makeup and singing. Nothing real, or anything you can take seriously, and I'm really stuck.

    You said it, hardly substantive.

    What you should be looking for is something which will pay you enough that you can then enjoy your hobbies - music etc Not just something which will pay you for partaking in your hobbies.

    Work can be a means to an end you know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What you should be looking for is something which will pay you enough that you can then enjoy your hobbies - music etc Not just something which will pay you for partaking in your hobbies.

    if only, huh?

    most people work to live, not live to work. my current job is the first i've enjoyed, but still it's not the most fun i've ever had.

    everything else i've done, i did purely to pay the bills. it must be nice to have the choice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    if only, huh?

    most people work to live, not live to work. my current job is the first i've enjoyed, but still it's not the most fun i've ever had.

    everything else i've done, i did purely to pay the bills. it must be nice to have the choice.

    I think the point is the more you work, the more experience you get and the more open you become to a wider market of jobs which interest you more. Everyone has to start at the bottom and yes, everyone has to work to live - even lucky folk like me who's parents are paying for food and a roof over her head while she's at uni - because I want my life to be a little bit wider than existance alone, and I want to earn money to go out and have fun, travel, buy clothes/bubble bath etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    u do learn alot about urself , life and experience from shitty jobs! essential for everyone i'd say!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kath2003 wrote:
    I think the point is the more you work, the more experience you get and the more open you become to a wider market of jobs which interest you more.

    aye, but there's a difference between being able to do a job you enjoy, and refusing to do anything that isn't in line with what you would do as a hobby.

    i like my job, and i enjoy doing it. it might not be the greatest job ever, but i wake up every morning and don't mind going. i'd prefer to make my money selling my clothes and writing novels, but i'm a realist, and that ain't gonna happen anytime soon.

    most people have to settle. that's all. most people aren't going to be rock stars or actresses or professional skiiers or whatever. but settling doesn't mean having a crap job, or hating your job. it just means being a bit more realistic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally would never do anything that I have as a hobby as a job, because your hobby then becomes something you HAVE to do, rather than something you do because you enjoy it. If you were forced to sit down and write novels because the bills needed paying, it wouldn't be half as much fun as it is now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Illora - am I imagining your at university now? One way to decide on what to do is to a make use of your university carrears service go and have a chat with them and then think up a short list of the types of jobs you might want to do - then use your university holidays as a chance to get some work experience for each of them - which will not only help you decide but will also look really good on your CV. Loads of organisations offer summer placements but you need to start looking now for them - because there is often lots of competition.

    If your not at uni then try going to prospects or another carrears service they have lots of advice and stuff to get you started. However as everyone has been saying there are jobs and then there are carrears.

    Good Luck
    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote:
    Illora - am I imagining your at university now? One way to decide on what to do is to a make use of your university carrears service go and have a chat with them and then think up a short list of the types of jobs you might want to do - then use your university holidays as a chance to get some work experience for each of them - which will not only help you decide but will also look really good on your CV. Loads of organisations offer summer placements but you need to start looking now for them - because there is often lots of competition.

    If your not at uni then try going to prospects or another carrears service they have lots of advice and stuff to get you started. However as everyone has been saying there are jobs and then there are carrears.

    Good Luck
    xx
    I WAS at uni, but it all fell through and my career plans went through the window. So I have to start again.

    To Man Of Kent: I live at home and my parents give me full financial support. I'm also on Job Seeker's Allowance.

    I've done a fair bit of research over the past couple of weeks, and things seem to be on the up. I've enrolled onto 3 adult education courses, to get some actual skills under my belt. I've got in touch with the Princes Trust, who help unemployed young people like myself, set up their own business. I'm also applying for a once in a lifetime opportunity, to pre-train for entry into the film industry, learning skills such as special effects makeup, and wig making, so there's hope!

    I still don't know what the future has in store, but I do know that I'm on my way somewhere, and it won't be the nearest supermarket for a saturday job lol.

    Ilora x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it won't be the nearest supermarket for a saturday job


    It doesn't need to be, all the while you can live a parasitic life :rolleyes:

    What is wrong with doing something like that, if it means that you pay your own way?

    Sorry, I don't want to get personal here, but why the hell should other people prop you up financially until you find your "dream"? IMHO you are a drain on your parents and the state and you seem to have little intention of changing that.

    Fine, be a fulltime student, I have no problem with that because you are making an effort and it's leading somewhere. But you need to accept that life doesn't come for free and at some point you will have to take some responsibility for yourself.

    I wish you luck and I seriously hope that you do find your dream job in the end, but please don't expect other people to bail you out until you do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, so I'm rather fussy. And spoilt... lol.

    But, on the other hand, I do have serious confidence problems which relate to social anxiety, so working in a supermarket would just about finish me off.

    I'm currently applying for office/secretarial jobs, rather than working in a busy shopping centre, or supermarket.

    Ilora x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I won't just 'work' though. I'm too pigheaded to be in a job I don't like or enjoy

    I never liked my paper round, I never liked getting up at the crack of dawn to do it! But it earnt me a wage (yes, a very small one) and gave me some independance. I had paper-rounds from the age of 13 till 16 and since then I've never been out of part-time employment.

    People are very lucky to find a job that they enjoy, but sometimes we have to do these things!

    I don't mean to sound like I'm having a go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, so I'm rather fussy. And spoilt... lol.

    But, on the other hand, I do have serious confidence problems which relate to social anxiety, so working in a supermarket would just about finish me off.

    I'm currently applying for office/secretarial jobs, rather than working in a busy shopping centre, or supermarket.

    Ilora x

    actually my sister had social anxiety problems too and it proved incredably beneficial to her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    actually my sister had social anxiety problems too and it proved incredably beneficial to her.
    Ooh, How? Anything that could help, do tell!!

    Ilora x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say you're disabled and they have to give you an interview. Simple.

    If there's anyone who has got into uni but "can't find a job" then here's the simple solution.

    1. Go to a recruitment agency, either in real life or online.
    2. Say "I'm looking for data entry jobs".
    3. Get said data entry job for £5.50ph.
    4. Be bored fuckless, and get paid £5.50ph to read the newspaper.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooh, How? Anything that could help, do tell!!

    Ilora x

    basically she was shy to the point of having a panic attack if she had to even pay for something in a shop - anything which involved social interaction was a killer for her. she was told she had to get a job and the only people who would employ her was sainsburys, who my mum already worked for. manager started her off on small steps - hello , thank u and goodbye and after three months she was a different person. if you're are willing to work in an office then you are also capable of working in a shop. it will still be a "social situation" if anything it will be worse than a shop coz many offices have problems with back-biting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you're doing all the right things and being very pro-active. I've always thought the hardest thing about deciding what career you want is that you don't know if you'd enjoy it - or even what it entails - until you've done it. It's a bit of a vicious circle. The best way to get a taster of working life is to do some work experience or volunteering. Even if it isn't in a job you really want to do you can get an idea of the little jobs you enjoy/are good at etc and get a feel for different kinds of work environments. Like the others have said, it takes time before you get to a job you really enjoy - and there may not be one dream job for you, so treat every opportunity as a learning curve and a progression towards something even better.

    You may also like to look at Prospects - although it is designed for graduates, it's a mine of information on different careers and they have a test that tells you what jobs you are suited to.

    Let us know how you get on :)
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