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here's the story.....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As you know, ( or if u don't...) i cut. At the mo, i'm trying to stop, even if its only temporaily as i'm going on holiday with my parents a week on monday. The thing is that along my arms, there are marks that resemble bad scratches, and on the top of my legs, there are scars. How can i get rid of them - plz, any ideas would be really really really helpful.
Thank u
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't help with the immediate problem I'm afraid, but to stop wounds scarring in future (and from getting infected) if you do break down and cut then use a new blade and make sure everything's clean.

    Good luck stopping.
    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have the same problem. My ankles are scarred and if i have to go away then my parents would definitely see them.
    I've heard that steri-strips, u know like the medical things if you get a deep cut help to stop the scarring when you cut, but as for now, there is nothing you can do.

    I should know, i've now had 2 of my scars for a yr and half now, and they aren't fading very fast.
    Hope you stay safe!


    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah i heard bout these strips, apparently work but are expensive. umm me and mum were gonna use them but they're pricey.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by scottish_angel:
    As you know, ( or if u don't...) i cut. At the mo, i'm trying to stop, even if its only temporaily as i'm going on holiday with my parents a week on monday. The thing is that along my arms, there are marks that resemble bad scratches, and on the top of my legs, there are scars. How can i get rid of them - plz, any ideas would be really really really helpful.
    Thank u

    I think that no matter what u try u r probably not gonna be able to make them not obvios to people. This is such an issue for me although I have really good healing skin and they r hardly noticable at all. When I started dance college a couple of girls ask me questions about my scars on my arms but I bullshit my way through it, they never beleived a word though coz its pretty obviouse when someone has done it intentionally.
    The thing I was gonna say was if u r able to not cut for the time u r away why dont u try to not cut oin general? U have already set yourself up to return to cutting when your holiday is over coz u put temporarilly....I dont understand why if u can not do it on holiday u cant try to not do it altogether!?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lolly. I think the problem that _angel may have is that it is easier to stop cutting if you are abroad coz there's other stuff to do, and if you're with your parents quite a lot you won't really get the time to cut. I know that certainly is true for me. Plus you may be genuinely happy, and not ahve the desire whereas in cold, boring depressing old England it is easy to fall bacxk into the trap?
    Maybe i am just talking bullshit. I certainly know it is hard to stop someone suspecting cuts on you arm aren't intenetional. I have some and i think i'd have to go with the scratched by the cat story if any1 asked.

    Stay Safe


    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can see wot ur saying. But, i s'pose i know that i will start again once i come back. The only thing which would scare me into not doing it, is my parents finding out. Which is why i'm trying not to do it now. And the weird thing is, and i never thought i would say it, is that practically every day, i think about doing it. I look at my arms, and my legs, and really want to just cut. I can't believe i'm saying this, coz i always thought i could just stop.
    But, its the same with my eating - if someone forced me to stop, i would and probably could. But, at the moment, i don't want to stop. Well, i do, kinda. I mean, if i had the choice of never doing it again, or doing it, i would never do it again. But its getting myself to not want to do it. Is this making any sense to anyone?? I want to tell my teacher this, but i can't tell her how i'm really feeling (i.e - crappy, and constantly thinking about cutting, and other stuff) coz if i did, she would tell my parents, i'm sure. She always says that anything i say which may affect me, or puts me in danger has to be told to at least the head of guidance, and then probably my parents.
    The other thing is, is that our school breaks up this wednesday - and i haven't spoken to her properly for a couple of weeks. She was s'posed to catch up with me, as she was foning the pyschotherapist to find out wether or not she'd written to my doctor. But, she's passed me in the corridor, and never said a word. I'm also getting worried coz its 8 weeks without spking to her. Or even anyone. At school, i know that if something happens, i can go and spk to her coz she is the only person who knows everything. I want to go up and just spk to her, but i'm worried everything will come out, and then she'll say that she has to tel my parents.
    Sorry, didn't mean to go on so much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what about a fake tan maybe that would hid them short term
    I dont know
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally understand where u r coming from with the cutting now. The thing with your teacher though, I really dont know what advice to give u other than whats been said before. She is in a difficuly position and maybe that is why she has not come to speak to u. All I can suggest is u stick with your sensible side that wants to not cut and try to get through this. I know how hard it is, I mean Im in exactly the same position myself but I guess its easier to try and help other people isnt it. Anyway good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sy:

    I dont know

    no, u dont. so why bother commenting? this girl has a serious problem and ur trying to fucking trivialise it. cmon, have a little respect, please.

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by scottish_angel:
    At the mo, i'm trying to stop, even if its only temporaily as i'm going on holiday with my parents a week on monday. The thing is that along my arms, there are marks that resemble bad scratches, and on the top of my legs, there are scars. How can i get rid of them - plz, any ideas would be really really really helpful.
    Thank u
    turtle she asked for a quick fix thats what I offered.
    and as for not respecting her problems, your right I dont.
    small cutting as far as I m concerned is simpley attention seeking, from whom I dont know maybe herself who knows, but with any addiction the only way to stop is to stop doing it, and remove yourself from that situation.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sy:
    Originally posted by scottish_angel:
    At the mo, i'm trying to stop, even if its only temporaily as i'm going on holiday with my parents a week on monday. The thing is that along my arms, there are marks that resemble bad scratches, and on the top of my legs, there are scars. How can i get rid of them - plz, any ideas would be really really really helpful.
    Thank u
    turtle she asked for a quick fix thats what I offered.
    and as for not respecting her problems, your right I dont.
    small cutting as far as I m concerned is simpley attention seeking, from whom I dont know maybe herself who knows, but with any addiction the only way to stop is to stop doing it, and remove yourself from that situation.


    Why dont u just fuck off. U clearly have no idea what kind of position this girl is in or how serious cutting is. Infact there isnt anything that u do have a clue about, apart from how to piss off everyone here. U may like to think cutting is attention seeking, thats an easy answer isnt it...well unfortunatly its a lot fucking deeper than that. Do u not think it would be a bit of an extreme thing to do just for attention. It looks like u r the one with the attention problem anyway, u r looking to get bad attention by coming on here aint u. Maybe u should seek some help for that, but not here coz nobody would give a shit after the comments u have made. Go and buy yourself a life, they arnt that expensive if u bargain hunt lol!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for saying that Lolly. I think all of us have wanted to tell hime that fora long time but couldn't put in in the right words.
    You're a star!!

    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think there is no quick fix to hiding or covering up scars, there will always be reminents left on your skin as someone has already stated.

    Thoughts and actions of self harm have been with me since I was 4 or 5 I was always running into walls or doors or putting myself thru windows which later in life developed to cutting and more sinister efforts to really hurt myself. I know it must be hard for you right now but if you can, please see your gp who will help instigate the treatment for you. No person should live a life of fear, anxiety, distress or depression I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I do not condone or condemn cutting and certainly not actively encourage someone to do it, I would always say be clean, never use a used blade, always use and antisceptic oitnment like tcp. Being clean is very important to stop the risk of a nasty infection.

    There are many alternatives to cutting, I believe an effective one is to place an ice cube on the inside of your elbow (in between your bicep and forearm) then close your arm untill it melts, I have not tried it myself but will the next time I have an uncontrollable urge to hurt myself.

    it is important to have a support network, this is why I do urge you if you can to see your gp (if you haven't already) to get help. I regard myself extremely lucky to be standing here today and greatful of my support network, my friends (some who also cut or have cut, some who have never cut) my psychiatrist and gp, and even my parents, it's not easy trying to hide depression and self harm from parents, and it just adds to the pain and frustration not being able to tun round to them for help, this is of course in my experience and hope I don't sound preachy.
    I don't know if it's of any use, but here's a link to a site that has loads of links about self harm http://gurlpages.com/grrrlyzine/cut.html take care be safe
    ~M~
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by Sunday's Child:
    There are many alternatives to cutting, I believe an effective one is to place an ice cube on the inside of your elbow (in between your bicep and forearm) then close your arm untill it melts, I have not tried it myself but will the next time I have an uncontrollable urge to hurt myself.

    hot wax from a candle? pretty painful i can tell you.

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you think fake tan would work? i'm ready to try anything.....really. I think the marks on my arms are going away, but its my legs i'm worried about. I've had those scars for over 3 months, and they show no sign of going away. Since we're going to the caribbean, there's no way i can cover them up. Wot am i going to do......aaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    what about wearing a longish floaty sarong? protects you from sunburn too then, sounds quite a sensible plan your parents wont question.

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    hot wax from a candle? pretty painful i can tell you.


    huh? Didn't Sundays Child mean alternatives that can't really scar you and aren't as dangerous as cutting (hence the ice cube thing).

    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Originally posted by ElisaKate:
    huh? Didn't Sundays Child mean alternatives that can't really scar you and aren't as dangerous as cutting (hence the ice cube thing).

    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    er yes.... hot wax ISNT as dangerous as cutting and doesnt really scar that i know of.

    im not promoting anything btw, im just offering these alternatives that were talked about.

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    er yes.... hot wax ISNT as dangerous as cutting and doesnt really scar that i know of.

    im not promoting anything btw, im just offering these alternatives that were talked about.


    Right

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions.
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    a doc absolutely wouldnt repeat what you say to them to your parents. theyre not allowed to, its illegal if they do that, so you dont have to worry about that at least <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    However much everone hates Sy his idea of a fake tan might be a reasonable idea.
    The problem is any recent cuts will show up more with a real tan as a quite bright pink. GFM idea of long floaty sarong is a good idea. Anyway good luck.

    Forwards ever, Backwards never - Skive
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right well if you see how good you look temporily then it might help you stop. Obviously you've got dsomethign aking you do this.....but it maight be good for others to see. Odd but then they can support you... but i wouldn't use fake tan, coz it's like scars shine up and don't tan int he sun right? fake tan might turn them darker....

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit:
    You should try and speak to a GP, as Lolly *i think* said- i dont think they would repeat to ur parents if u asked them not to, but theyd give u the help u need. Its a shame that u cant talk to ur parents about it, cos they might be able to help loads- IMHO, maybe it wouldnt be a disaster if ur parents DID find out, if itd stop u cutting urself.

    Good luck, I know EXACTLY how u feel.


    It's a very big step to tell ur parents. It's a bit like coming ut of the closet really...its that serious. I know (well think) my parents wouldn't understand coz when they talked about that girl who was helped to die by her dad, they were like "i could never bring myself to cut myself...how could she do that?". Thats why i believe it to be such a difficult step.

    you say you understand (tell me to fuck off) but do you cut then?
    take care everyone.


    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by tourette:
    It's a very big step to tell ur parents. It's a bit like coming ut of the closet really...its that serious. I know (well think) my parents wouldn't understand coz when they talked about that girl who was helped to die by her dad, they were like "i could never bring myself to cut myself...how could she do that?". Thats why i believe it to be such a difficult step.

    you say you understand (tell me to fuck off) but do you cut then?
    take care everyone.



    speaking as a perant you would be suprised as to what extent yo would be supported.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sy:
    speaking as a perant...

    there is no god.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LMFAO!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone! I've just had a particularly crappy day, so i thought i would let fire here, since no one else is interested..(well, they ask, but they wouldn't understand - don't say they would, they just wouldn't)

    Ok, so my teacher was supposed to be seeing me 2day, to tell me wot the psychotherapist had said to my doctor. First of all, she was over 15 mins late, and then when she came, she said that we should leave our little meeting thing till 2morrow, coz she hadn't got hold of the woman.

    I said it was ok, but i spent the rest of the day in tears. the thing is, i wanted to see her to tell her about how i'm really not coping. At the mo, for no apparent reason, i can't help thinking about my nephew who died. I feel really awful, and feel like a bad p[erson - i can't remember his birthday, i can't remember how old he was, i can hardly remember wot he looked like. And, this is the worst part, i feel like he never existed. I mean, i feel like he was never real, he was just a name. I know this probably makes no sense, but its getting 2 me. Wot kind of person must i be? I don't know wether i want to talk, or don't want to. When i talked a little bit about it, i got really upset, and just remembered all the things i'd forgottena bout him. When think about these things, i get even more upset.
    I would tell this teacher this, but at the moment, i'm just not sure that she's interested. I feel like she's had enough of me. And i don't blame her if she has. I mean, she has this girl coming to her, always going on about her problems, and always bursting into tears. You would get pissed off with me, wouldn't u? ]
    I don't want her to be annoyed with me - if i was going to get myself sorted out, i would do it for her as well as for me. At times, she's been great, and helped me through some bad times. But at others - when she's late, or never turns up, or when she gives the impression that she doesn't think i'm helping myself, then i don't like her as much.
    She is the only person i can talk to, god knows why, and if i couldn't talk to her, i don't think i would cope at all.

    Well, anyway, i'm going to see her 2morrow,(hopefully) but don't know wot to say. I could tell her i'm not coping, and risk her telling my parents. I could tell her about my nephew, and again risk her telling my parents. I could tell her that i'm getting panicky coz we break up on thursday, and i'll have no one to talk to for 8 weeks. Or i could just keep my mouth shut. I have so many decisions, and so little time.

    Sorry for going on so long. But thanks for listening.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi. ok i used to use fake tan to cover up faint - ish scars lasy year, which worked kinda ok . only this year i have soem real bad ones which i have no idea how im going to hide.
    sy, i see where u r coming from, but speaking as a child whose parents found out, u would be suprised at how unsupportive thye r. but i guess all parents are different.
    debbie, i reckon u should come clean to them, i mean i know its almostthe hardest thing in the world to do, but ist the best overall solution. i dont know how bad any of ure scars are, i'd giv fake tan a try but the best way to make them go is to stop cutting, and regularly moisturise ure skin and exfoliate with a body scrub or similar. also getting sun on them helps. i know i cant exactly talk, but its what i was advised to do and i tried it for a while and it does kinda work. anyway, what u do in the end is entirley up to u, i mean its ure body and ure situation, i just hope that some of the (useful) advice on these pages have and will help u a lot.
    as was said, some scars are so bad that they will be there forever, or if not a long time. depends how bad or deep it was though, and also how it was done. i still really think that u should see a doctor, they are a bit dim sometimes but they can giv u medication etc that can help a little.
    as for steri strips, i have been told that they work and been advised to use them, but they are sooo dear! i usually use micro pore tape, but it doesnt work all that well. i suppose its better than nothing though.
    also, thinkabout what lolly said about not cutting in general. i know its hard, and it is, and i sometimes wish that i hadnt thrown out all my blades when im stressed. however, i do feel good when i think that i got thru a bad situation without having to resort to that. and yes it is very hard to cut when ure in close company with ure parents.

    and sy, in most cases this ISNT small cutting, although as im sure you "dont know". from my POV there is no point at all in small cutting as u call it, and look shes obviously not a fuckin attention seeker because SHE DOESNT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW! think man!

    and to lolly: well said, a lot of respect <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there's no way i could tell my parents. I know many of you will think that i'm just saying this, and that if i tried, then i actually could, but honestly, i couldn't tell them. The thing is - we have no relationship. And its not just me that's saying it - i heard my parents say it. I cannot explain why i feel like this, but i don't want them to know anything. Anything at all, wether it be wot i did at school, or if i puke up everything i eat. I wish i didn't feel like this, i really do. I want the parents th\at everyone else seems to have. I want a mum that i can talk to, go shopping with, and a dad that...well, just someone i can talk to. I want this, but not from the parents i have. I know this must make no sense, but its the only way i can explain it. No one else can really understand, but maybe someday, someone will. I don't think my teacher understands, as she herself is a parent. and has said to me many times, that if she didn't have kids, then she would probably see things differently. But i never know how much to tell her; i'm always wary in case she then turns round to me and says that she has to tell someone else. I want to tell her everything, yet i am unable to in case it makes things worse. God, i'm waffling again.
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