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This HAS to be a joke?!?!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Found this on a Christian website...


If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you know if they are a goth if they listento goth music, how do you know its goth music if they use a statement like that to describe what a goth is


    and i thought been a chav/charver would be worse :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think being a hardcore christian is probably worse than being a goth.

    ooh apparantly I am a goth too.

    The world is bleak man.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    *sticks up hand* Gothic christian, right here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol i think i got about 15++ of those which applied to me....im doomed to being a goth forever :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Renzo
    I think being a hardcore christian is probably worse than being a goth.

    ooh apparantly I am a goth too.

    The world is bleak man.

    i think those people who claim to be "hardcore" christians.. and those people who made that website should be shot...

    according to this i'm a goth too.. even though i'm a christian??

    since when is it wrong to 'shake your head to music"????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Reese_86
    i think those people who claim to be "hardcore" christians.. and those people who made that website should be shot...

    according to this i'm a goth too.. even though i'm a christian??

    since when is it wrong to 'shake your head to music"????

    It wasn't on the actual website, somebody had posted it in the forum.

    And I think according to this, everyone on this forum is a goth and should be locked up in a mental hospital :crazyeyes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by princessamy
    It wasn't on the actual website, somebody had posted it in the forum.

    And I think according to this, everyone on this forum is a goth and should be locked up in a mental hospital :crazyeyes


    whoever posted that has to be the worst example of a christian EVER!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gothic, In my eyes really do believe in what they do like Sucicide Bombers etc, I believe that children today aren't taught enough in school about there religion as to the reason they go out and do things like this.

    Maybe after a little attention? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Reese_86
    whoever posted that has to be the worst example of a christian EVER!

    Seconded, most wholeheartedly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by princessamy
    It wasn't on the actual website, somebody had posted it in the forum.

    And I think according to this, everyone on this forum is a goth and should be locked up in a mental hospital :crazyeyes

    It was obviously a post taking the mickey out of the website and its values.

    reading + brain use = coherent thought

    read article --> Process article --> Realise article is satirical --> work out this is a joke

    (of course this requires the availability of a functional human brain :))
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    OOh bitchy! :p
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    Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    Originally posted by JsT
    OOh bitchy! :p

    ;o scandal TBH
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by princessamy
    It wasn't on the actual website, somebody had posted it in the forum.

    And I think according to this, everyone on this forum is a goth and should be locked up in a mental hospital :crazyeyes

    well most of us should be locked up in a mental health hospital, not just because of us all been goths ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by samba
    It was obviously a post taking the mickey out of the website and its values.

    reading + brain use = coherent thought

    read article --> Process article --> Realise article is satirical --> work out this is a joke

    (of course this requires the availability of a functional human brain :))
    Yes because of course I had no idea this was a joke, hence the message title.

    I posted it because it made me laugh :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rachie004
    Maybe I should out more spelling mistakes in?

    You haven't liberally quoted from Girl Interrupted in your sig and claimed undying love for Evanescence and HIM.

    teh impost0r = yuo
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rachie004
    aw :(

    I forgot all the bands with 3 letters to their name :(

    Come back when you take a couple of quotes from Prozac Nation out of context to prove how deep and meaningful you are, and how nobody understands you and how terrible your suburban middle-class life is.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Come back when you take a couple of quotes from Prozac Nation out of context to prove how deep and meaningful you are, and how nobody understands you and how terrible your suburban middle-class life is.

    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're still only a 'thetic shell of a goth.

    You haven't made a overblown hint at a suicide attempt yet...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe she did and thats why shes now reading cosmopolitan
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    how terrible your suburban middle-class life is.

    But it is :(

    really
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You feel a terrible blank numbness deep inside the withering rose of your soul. The only thing that helps you be true to yourself is to make three superficial cuts to your left forearm and then show everyone how deeply pained your tormented torrid heart is. You hate everyone, you hate the way you all stare at you, they can see the twisted flesh of your existence and they cry "haha! mosher!" at your tormented being.

    You hate you, you hate your friends and you especially hate your mum. You can only save yourself by listening to thrash metal and by writing poetry of dubious quality.

    You'd be better off dead.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you heard about the new cars they have in Egypt?

    They go ANKH ANKH
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I'm not just a goth, but a VAMPIRE!
    Check this out:
    • I like to wander at night.
    • Those two teeth of mine (I forget what they're called in English, you know which I mean) are unusually pointy.
    • Much light hurts my eyes.
    • Whenever I see blood, I feel its taste in my mouth.
    SOMEONE EXORCISE ME NOW!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my friend almost fitted when she saw that!

    she said its was: fucking sick and twisted and discusting. bare in mind she's intoxicated. and a huge manson fan, but strangly isn't a total freak obbsesive one obbsessed my death. no, she's jsut obbsessed by billy joe armstrong of green day.

    some weird shit hey?
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