trapped

Former Member

I feel kinda trapped in my own life, my interests dont seem to match up with anyone elses.

I dont enjoy clubbing and I dont enjoy the pub. At the age of 20 its almost unheard of, I dont enjoy the smokey atmosphere, the music so loud half the quality is lost to static, I feel constantly at threat that im gonna look at someone the wrong way and there gonna take it offensively and I havent got a taste for alcohol - ive tried it and the taste just wont come i'd rather just have a glass of lemonade. I have no interest what so ever in getting drunk, the more I drink just makes me feel tired and I end up just wanting to go home!

Ive tried liking it, I really have and I really dont understand the obsession everyone has? They go to the same places, same drinks, with the same inflated prices in which you come away with nothing but a headache. I look at other people getting drunk and I just really dont have any impulse to look as stupid as they do, and its so unattractive I gringe everytime. I dont understand how they enjoy it, i want to enjoy it i really do it just doesnt come.

Now I know im not a boring person like im sounding, I enjoy sports, I enjoy trying new things, I enjoy skiing, canoeing, reading, going to the movies etc etc etc I enjoy socialising though i find it hard, appoaching new people never comes easy to me but once I get to know them and I gain a little confidence it gets better.

Now the problem is im trapped, the friends I have, all they seem to enjoy is going out and getting drunk, now call me sad if you want, but its just boring, I want to do something active something worth while, i hear so many variations of the line "i was so out of it last night, i was mashed" so many times im tired, fed up, none of my friends want to do anything else, anything i suggest is never worth trying. Ive tried going to a few clubs (sports) and things to try and find some people with common interests but its hard when they all have there friends with them, and im there on my tod, looking stupid.

Anyway I cant help but feel trapped, I plod through my boring life, knowing what I want to do but not knowing how to get there, wishing just wishing i'll stumble into someone whos common line isnt "i was totally smashed last night".........

ps im sorry for those who enjoy clubbing - its just not my cup of tea and i just so want to meet someone who is on the same wave length

Former Member

don't worry about it. most everyone that goes to the bars all the time now will end up coming to the same realization that you have already had. it isn't that fun to go out and get slammed every other night of the week. the drinks cost to much and the music is played to loud. you just seem to have a jump on the rest of them. it happens.

wish i could tell you a good way to meet people who's main pre-occupation in life is not getting drunk, but i haven't figured it out myself. i can't confess to not enjoying getting slammed once in a while. once, maybe twice a month if it is really bad, is my limit. if you don't like listening to your friends telling about how they were drunk then just wait because eventually they will grow up.

best of luck.

Former Member

are there any adult ed societys where you could meet other people. There are LOADS of people that dont like clubbing.

Former Member

....

cheers for the support, just wanted to write down and say something before i explode : /

maybe see if theres anyone else who feels the same way?

im ploding though, I am trying to join like groups/society things but its kinda hard, usually people go with a mate/friend and its hard trying to move into a group of people who already know each other......ah well hopefully something will pop eventually

thanks guys

Former Member

I'm on the same wave length!! Except the loud music really doesn't bother me and I enjoy the odd bevvi every now and then. I get drunk like once a month just to release the tensions.

I'm desperate to join a canoe club in my area. I wanna join the Windsor canoe club but thier website is so tripe I can't be bothered to follow everything on the phone (cus the phone scares me).

My goal for now is to compete in the Olympics in UK in 2015 or whatever it was with huge shoulders

I've been ok with ym self confidence, tho. I'm 19 and my self confidence and socialising is easy now. I spose...I still can't chat girls up with complete confidence like I used to.

I rarely go out drinking but I do enjoy a quiet cold one in a local pub with the best mate. That's enjoying the time...no loud music nor drunkin twats you don't even know trying to talk to you.

I used to work at a bowling alley and that did MIRACLES for my ego so if it helps...join the staff at a bowling alley!

I would prefer to have a laugh with a group of friends rather then have to find them through the fog and piss-eyes of a club at half 2 in the mornin...


We're totally on the same wavelength, buddy!

Former Member

Loads of people hate pubs, hate clubs, and hate drinking. But in this society anyone who doesn't go out clubbing three times a week is made to feel like a boring loser.

It's stupid, some of the best people I've ever met are tee-totallers. They're more interesting because they don't need drink to have a good time, and they do things other than drink and have sex.

Are you at uni? If you are there are loads of societies and things where drinking and clubbing are not the be-all and end-all.

Former Member

hi

nice to know im not the only one : /

im in uni but im currently on placement so i cant go to the societies/clubs

Former Member

Originally posted by MeSquared
hi

nice to know im not the only one : /

im in uni but im currently on placement so i cant go to the societies/clubs

try salsa dancing or something like that

Former Member

ok i thought i was the only person in the world who felt like this, its so hard to make friends, because not going clubing means i don't get out to meet anyone. i hate smoky pubs, like you i don't see the point in drinking, its boring. i don't drink, never really have, never seen the point, it tastes foul, and makes me feel ill. i prefer to go out in the day, visiting places, i like to stay in at night. God i sound boring, don't i. any way your not on your own.

Former Member

.........

The problem is, knowing im not the only one who doesnt like pubs and clubs, how are you meant to get into contact with like minded people? Since by nature we like to stay in! Oh its just a circle........

We are trapped! :P

Former Member

Re: trapped

B cool...

really... you are just original

and I believe there is many ppl who says they like clubbing just to fit in... be glad you don't do that

I'm 17, and, @ my age, one is supposed to desire clubbing every week... well, once a month it too much... and I go only when is someone's birthday... so... don't say you are not normal, in that case I am not too...

Former Member

its just really annoying though that noone around me feels the same, it kind of isolates me from everyone else since i dont enjoy what they enjoy......

Former Member

Originally posted by MeSquared
its just really annoying though that noone around me feels the same, it kind of isolates me from everyone else since i dont enjoy what they enjoy......

so you keep saying. All I can see is that you dont like pubbing and clubbing, and you think that is the ONLY thing your friends enjoy doing. Im sure the people around you like other things apart from clubbing. If you get on with someone how about meeting for a coffee instead? Or maybe going to the gym? you need to find something thats still sociable, because even though your mates are bound to have other interests, a lot of things are solitary interests. I mean you dont meet a friend to look round the library together do you, or sit and read books together. Other things may seem to "datey" to do with a same sex mate.

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
All I can see is that you dont like pubbing and clubbing, and you think that is the ONLY thing your friends enjoy doing. Im sure the people around you like other things apart from clubbing.

it's true.

i don't drink, and don't enjoy clubbing, but i'll happily sit in a pub chatting over coke and crisps.

but most of the times i see my friends it's just to do random things. shop, meet for a 'coffee' (i don't drink coffee either - hehe), go round to theirs and watch bad films, go to the cinema.

if your friends only ever go clubbing, they must be really chuffing boring. maybe that's your problem.