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Torn between Guy at Work + My Single Life

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
This guy at work asked me out before but I had to turn him down. He's lovely lad but then I did not find him attractive which I felt was quite important to have in a relationship.

ANYWAYS; I've been getting to know him and I really am starting to like him more than just friends. Usually this would be great. But I kinda have a fear of getting close with someone. I mean I'm only 19 and I don't want to get tied down BUT at the same time I can actually picture myself settling down with this guy long-term which I don't want to miss out on. Does this make sense?

I am sooo confused. I really don't like this feeling. Ya see, and this is exactly why I wanted to stay single.

My other issue is I have a fear that if I was to get involved with this guy, I may not stay faithful. Not saying I would go out and intentionally cheat. But I've just been soo use to pleasing myself that I may not get use to the idea of having to be faithful to my partner.

I'm confused so any suggestions would be appreciated.

Cheers!

:)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're going to get with a guy at work' would say to keep your work an privates lives separate.

    Also, be ready for the gossip. . . . .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well actually he's leaving in a few weeks which is why I'm only considering it now. I would never date a guy from work.

    Though saying that there's quite a few couples at work.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude, long term SO much better than being single.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Torn between Guy at Work + My Single Life
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    I mean I'm only 19 and I don't want to get tied down BUT at the same time I can actually picture myself settling down with this guy long-term which I don't want to miss out on. Does this make sense?

    i've had this, i think it's more of a crush that you're letting yourself get deeper and deeper into, i don't know you or this lad personally but i reckon you'se probably aren't right for each other, maybe you want to think you like him or something, anyway, being single is far better than anything no matter what people say, people change when they're in relationships, i'll wait a few years thank you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always felt single life is better. Anyways, me problem I'm scared of hurting him. As I've never been very good in holding down a relationship. I can be a very complicated lass when I wanna be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    Anyways, me problem I'm scared of hurting him.

    and the fact you're working with him isn't making it better, let him down nice and easy, just say something like "i think you're great bla bla bla but i'm not a relationship type of girl" or just go for it, do what u want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I've already told him all that, explaining how I really like him but I just aint ready for a relationship, etc. And he's been soo sweet about it and hasn't been sufficating me like most guys would or made the situation anymore complicated. But I'm missing the idea of having the chance of being with him now.

    See I told ya it's confusing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    Well I've already told him all that, explaining how I really like him but I just aint ready for a relationship, etc. And he's been soo sweet about it and hasn't been sufficating me like most guys would or made the situation anymore complicated. But I'm missing the idea of having the chance of being with him now.

    See I told ya it's confusing.

    fuck it i've changed my mind, go for him, he seems like a good guy and i know how you feel like missing a chance and all that, try it out at least.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just being nosy, how old is he?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No offence, but you sound a lot like me.

    If you've been out of a relationship for long enough, you're bound to be scared when one comes up. It is a big step, and you're right to be thinking carefully about it, because once you start something like this, it's hard to go back and change your mind just like that.

    I think you'd regret it if you didn't give it a chance at least.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's 27 :-/
    I didn't believe it at first as he only looks about 22. hehe

    Why?

    And Turlough, he is a really nice guy. So so sweet and funny.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bri-namite
    I think you'd regret it if you didn't give it a chance at least.

    And that's exactly what I'm scared of as well. Thank you for being understanding.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    only because you said your 19 and didnt know if you were ready to settle down.

    just wondered whether he would want to either?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dizzzy
    only because you said your 19 and didnt know if you were ready to settle down.

    just wondered whether he would want to either?

    Well I'm not exactly expecting us to settle down straight away as I havem't even went out with the lad yet. Just explaining he is the kinda guy I would trust and can picture myself settling down with. (Not something I experience too often, which is why it kinda freaked me out.)
    That's what I was trying to explain.

    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    And that's exactly what I'm scared of as well.

    Then it really does just sound like a matter of plucking up the courage to take it to the next level.

    I don't think there's a lot of point over-analysing how things might go in the future, or worrying about things before they happen.

    Take a chance, and enjoy yourself pet :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    then go 4 it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bri-namite
    I don't think there's a lot of point over-analysing how things might go in the future, or worrying about things before they happen.


    Yeah I have a nasty habit of doing that. Me mates always get at me for doing that. The over-analysing.
    Take a chance, and enjoy yourself pet :thumb:

    Ya see, and now I'm really tempted to just go for it when I see him tomorrow night now.

    ....but will I feel the same way by tomorrow morning.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind

    ....but will I feel the same way by tomorrow morning.

    Yes, unless you over analyse :razz:
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