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Anti-psychotics need not apply - reasonably long

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad u r feeling a bit better monkey_boy, we r all behind u <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who'd have thought that envelopes could bode so much, the formality of it, the crisp, clinical and unemotional heading 'Pyschological Institute' stamped on the flap.
    This is it, i am up for 'examination' as they call it, reminds me of 1984 for some reason (by orwell, not the actual year). Oh god i'm not gonna like this, i got the shakes already and it's 2 weeks away. My parents don't even know yet, i don't know how i could tell them 'hey mum, dad, i'm fucked', it lacks a certain something.

    I really don't want this to sound macho or anything so please don't take it that way, but i've never really been afraid of anything before. I have a phobia of spiders but they don't really scare me, i have been tapped on the shoulder by death a few times but there was too much shock to have real fear. I have been afraid for my life before, but then there were only two real options, run or die. Other than that, death has never really vexed me. NOow i'm really afraid really fearing for my life, byut not the fact that it will be taken away from me, the fact that i might have to live it.

    I'm not sure if that makes sense, but i am afraid of the torment my own life is going to cause me, there's only one thing to look forward to passt this point/. the answer, the results, the diagnosis, whatever you want to call it. But i already know the answer, of course there's some part of me that says 'nonsense, these things only happen to other people, yyou'll get through it ok' but i'm not very convincing.

    What then? what happends after i know the Truth? where do i go from there, this thing could be the end of me, in more ways than one. suicide? perhaps. control? out the window. perspective? fucked. No going back, I need to know, buth at the back of my mind i know that what i hear could make or break me. whcih is it to be? only time will tell
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    grrr i am so pissed off, i wrote a big reply but i ended up closing the window by accident!!

    (((((((((((((((alex))))))))))))))

    i know i cant pretend to know what it is youre going through, i do understand what your'e saying. it must be pretty scary, and i know it cant be easy.

    you dont have to tell your parents if you dont want to. if you do, they might be able to provide support. but you know what parents are like... but if you can talk to them it would probably help, having someone in your life other than us here who knows something of whats going on with you at the moment. or maybe if you wait till after, you'll have good news to tell them, and you'll have saved worrying them over this if it isnt what you think it is. but then again you can always say you dont know for sure yet until after the evaluation, and that might help reassure them. if you decide to tell them that is.

    spiders ARE horrible though arent they? ive been immensely afraid of them since i was about 3. off topic and a bit irrelevant, sorry <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    i understand what you mean when you say you're scared for your life. but PLEASE dont consider suicide or anything, whatever the outcome of this, id miss you too much. you're one of my best friends and i value your friendship far too much to lose it. if it is what you think it is, it CAN be controlled, and you can live a normal life. i know it wont be the same as you'll know, but no one else will have to know, unless you choose to tell them so. i know i wont act any differently towards you, it wouldnt change anything for me, im always gonna be your friend.

    and anyway, this is all a big IF, its just as likely for it not to be the case. like you said, time will tell.

    in the meantime, and after of course! you know where i am if you want to talk, ill be there for you if you need to talk about stuff, dont worry about burdening me or anything like that with your problems, youre my friend and i love you and i dont want you to go through this on your own.

    im gonna cry in a minute, i have to stop writing this!!

    you'll be okay, you'll get through this, whatever happens, you still have so much to look forward to in your life.

    (((((((alex))))))

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im both sorry to hear this and hopefull. Im sorry coz I know hoe u r feeling and its the worst thing ever, nobody wants to go into hospital. Im also a bit hopefull for ya coz I no that even if it feels like the worst thing ever, if it actually happens, u will benefit from it also. I can understand that u wouldnt b thinking that now, but later on u most probably will.
    I wouldnt wish this on anyone though and its not gonna be easy, but u have to b strong and try and get through it the best u can. I wouldnt like to see u get put in hospital but if it happens I hope that it will at least do u a few favours. But like u say, its not definate yet and it might not even happen. I do think u should speak to your parents though, goin through this all alone isnt the answer and Im sure u would get more support if they knew. Best of luck mate and chin up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just couldn't do that to my parents, i can tell u these things because u don't know me and while u obviously care (i AM grateful by the way) no matter what happens to me it would never really devestate any of you.
    What i have to tell my parents is no tthe worst thing that could happen, but their world would collapse around them, everything stable that they've built up over the years like a shell would crumble at the breath of a few sentences.
    If i am responsible for something like that then i don't know what i'd do, i have no right to go destroying peoples lifestyles that way, 1 is bad enough.
    There is no doubt in my mind that they would support me but i can't ask them to do that, my dad is already going through a very tough phase and is on the brink, i really don't want to push him over it.
    What they don't know can't hurt them, and that's the way it should stay.

    But talking to u lot about anythign else to take my mind off it really helps, thanks a lot peeps, ask of me what you will unto half my kingdom <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    hey thats not true about us not being incredibly upset if something happened to you, i cant speak for the rest of thesite, but you KNOW how upset i would be.

    dont feel that telling people your problems is a burden to them. people care about you, and like they share, a problem shared is a problem halved <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; even if it is a cliche! its true. im sure your parents would want to know. but wait till after the assessment thingy whatsit if you think it would be best.

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    hey thats not true about us not being incredibly upset if something happened to you, i cant speak for the rest of thesite, but you KNOW how upset i would be.

    dont feel that telling people your problems is a burden to them. people care about you, and like they share, a problem shared is a problem halved <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; even if it is a cliche! its true. im sure your parents would want to know. but wait till after the assessment thingy whatsit if you think it would be best.


    As much as I'd love to back you up GFM, i would brite to do so.

    Oneof the reasons I dumped anna was because i didn't feel i could support her thru hard times - so i dropped excess baggage.


    I've not lost my mind it's inserted elsewhere - hence the limp.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    fair enough for you turtle. not so for me. had you known anna for 2 years though and were you incredibly good friends?

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    fair enough for you turtle. not so for me. had you known anna for 2 years though and were you incredibly good friends?


    No and no. But just pointing out that circumstances are often different. Still, your point is still valid.

    I've not lost my mind it's inserted elsewhere - hence the limp.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    yaeh i see your point too, i was just saying what i felt about the whole thing from my personal opinion and relationship with the accused lol.. i did not have sexual relations with that man .. lol

    this is starting to sound like some kind of trial! hehe

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I realised that I never posted any updates for this, how slack of me lol *slaps wrist*

    Well i went to the clinic, and gawd was it intimidating, who would have thought you could be bullied by a waiting room? that was probably the most uncomfortable 10 minutes of my life.
    but when i finally got to see the psychiatricst she was really nice about everything and wasn't really pushy or anything like that, she just asked me some questions about what problems i was having and how long for and if they could be linke with any trauma i had, things like that.
    however, she said that it was inconclusive and that she couldn't positively identify any problems from this one session so i'm going in on wednesday for a longer one, the 14th that is.

    The thing is she didn't give me any incling as to which way it might swing so now i'm all paranoid about what the outcome might be. i't not exactly the most perfect valentines day i could imagine lol, but when it's over i'll be seeing you on the other side <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    wish me luck

    This Is A Public Warning: Monkeys can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Monkey_Boy:
    i't not exactly the most perfect valentines day i could imagine lol, but when it's over i'll be seeing you on the other side <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    wish me luck

    Good luck Monkey Boy, if it's any concelation I've had my next shrink appointment for Valentines day, I decided in my mind when he made it for that date, that I would walk into his office and tell him if he thought he was gettin a card and flowers he can fck himself <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">. Good luck mate you'll be fine.
    Luk

    The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea good luck my little monkey boy, and Im sure it will be ok. Good luck for u too Luka <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Oh and good luck for myself...Im due tomorrow but u never no my valentines day might be spent in hospital <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">...not so bad though as I just wanna have this little thing!
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    you could have just told me all of that after the appointment when i asked about it because i cared about you and because i was worried about you. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    good luck on wednesday anyway, i'll be thinking of you. and you know, whatever the outcome, i'll be here for you <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    (((((((((((()((((((mb)))))))))))))))))))

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    and hvae you noticed you've gone insane? <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    and hvae you noticed you've gone insane? <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;


    Oh dear GOD!!! Not that pun again!!

    Alex, best of luck...don't worry, i'll share your v-day misery...no 1 will give me anything (except tara of course...i hope)

    Cos i'm thinking about a brand new hope, one i've never known, and where it goes, cos now I know it's all that wanted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck Alex...((((((((((((((((((((mb)))))))))))))))))) you know i'm always there for you to talk to <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awwwwww *wipes a tear* you gorgeous little buggers, thanks peeps, you're the nicest bunch of well-meaning and helpfully insightful folk that i've ever met
    i would hug you all now, but i wouldn't be letting go any time soon...oh and i live quite a stretch from all of u..except maybe lolly, but at the moment she has a little too much circumference for a REALLY successful hug <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    love you all XXXXXXXX

    This Is A Public Warning: Monkeys can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Monkey_Boy:
    awwwwww *wipes a tear* you gorgeous little buggers, thanks peeps, you're the nicest bunch of well-meaning and helpfully insightful folk that i've ever met
    i would hug you all now, but i wouldn't be letting go any time soon...oh and i live quite a stretch from all of u..except maybe lolly, but at the moment she has a little too much circumference for a REALLY successful hug <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    love you all XXXXXXXX


    lol...very true.


    Cos i'm thinking about a brand new hope, one i've never known, and where it goes, cos now I know it's all that wanted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Monkey_Boy:
    awwwwww *wipes a tear* you gorgeous little buggers, thanks peeps, you're the nicest bunch of well-meaning and helpfully insightful folk that i've ever met
    i would hug you all now, but i wouldn't be letting go any time soon...oh and i live quite a stretch from all of u..except maybe lolly, but at the moment she has a little too much circumference for a REALLY successful hug <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    love you all XXXXXXXX



    Lmfao yea and this little pooh still aint been born <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;
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