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Please help me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing

Hi,
I'm monique (new around here) 17 years old and from the Netherlands (so my english won't be very well i guess...)

I've got a problem, maybe you could give me an advise or something...

eh,...well...
Two years ago I've been raped, I never told anyone about this. It was very hard to deal with, but as long as I did'nt think about it I wasn't sad.

A few months ago I met a boy and fell in love. He's my boyfriend now. He notised that there was something wrong with me, because sometimes I got sad when we kissed, so I told him why.

He persueded me to go to a psychiatrist because it was geting worse with me. But that didn't help at all.

I only got more sad, 'cause I had to think about the night that I had banished from my memory. I got nightmares and wasn't feeling well anymore.

What can I do to make it better?
How can you stop thinking about things you don't wanna think about?
How can I survive the night?

Not only I am suffering, but my friend is to. Sometimes I wonder why he never left me 'cause I'm only making him sad too.
Can you help me? I really don't know what to do anymore.

Monique

(ps. please don't think I'm suicidal)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Hey i dont think their is an solution easy to this one. I wish i could understand your pain but being a male and never having been subject to such an unfortunate experience i can only offer a bit of advice....there must be people on here who have been through something similar however?

    Facing up to what happened to you wont be easy <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">, but it happened. If the person you spoke to wasnt much use, ask your doctor or a local self help group to refer you to someone else. How about talking to a close family member or friend?

    Easy for me to say but i'd speak to the Police too, 2 years is NOT too late to persue a criminal investigation. Give the BASTARD what he deserves.

    Best of Luck to you. Remember he his the one with the problem, not you. He'll get what he deserves one or another?

    ps sorry but things like this make me so fucking angry, if it were my decision i'd castrate the bastard.

    Dont give an animal like that the power to ruin *your* life your and future, he's not worth it.



    [This message has been edited by Sid (edited 17-02-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can never forget what happened to you, you can just learn to live with it i guess, and thats one of the main things that councelling does 4u.

    I think u shud definitely go bak to councelling, at first you just have to talk about it and get it all out but after that then they can help u to move on with your life. Get a new councellor, and stick it out because after the first few sessions it will get better.

    You should definitely report this man too, because he is probably going to do it again to other ppl like u, and they are going to have to go thru everything that u went thru and are going thru. He dusent deserve to get away with it. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"&gt; rapists make me mad!

    You could also find a support group of ppl that have had similar experiences to you. Maybe knowing that someone else has suffered the same thing, and being able to talk to them about their experience and how they are dealing with it will help you too.

    ((((((((shy)))))))))

    I hope i have helped you here, we're here if u wanna talk more. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Thanks...
    I've tried to speak to the police about this, but because it had happend in France and I could speak a single word France especially not about this 'cause I was so upsad I just couldn't...

    I've talked with my doc about an other counceller or something, but the problem is; I'm just 17, my parents don't know anything about this and councellers do cost money.
    I can't pay it all by my self... so there's no other way I guess...

    Monique
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