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HIV

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
MY mum is HIV positive, and I was wondering if anyone here had any relatives or friends who had it too, if you have you can always talk to me about it.
Also what are everyones opinions on it, I know that some people disown friends and family when they find out they have got HIV or Aids.
Personally it has made me love my mum more since she was diagnosed, it helped me to get over the hate I had for her because of the things that happened to me as a child and now we are really close.
I LOVE MY MUM!!! <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You and she sound like you are very brave. Its really important to have close friends and loved ones for mutual support at such a time.

    I don't know anyone who has it but it wouldn't bother me - apart from making me feel sad for them.

    A previous GF of mine contracted Hepatitis C from a blood transfusion. It is also incurrable and your internal organs (particularly your liver) rot away. Survival is dependant on life-style and luck.

    She's such a brilliant woman and so pretty that it's hard to understand how she could have been so unlucky.

    It's true that the good ones get the rough end of the stick.

    I hope your mum just stays positive and tries to get the most out of what she has, that's the important thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Since she found out about it shes got a new fella and is gettin married to him next year, she goes out a lot more and is trying to make the most of everything.
    It was really hard for one of my brothers because it was his dad who she got it off, he died of aids and my brother feels guilty for it. My other brother thought he had it because my mum had it when he was born, we took him for blood tests even though we would have known if he had it when he was a baby, but it put his mind at ease.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's good to have someone on the board with first hand experience of something as distressing as HIV. I can't remember if we've had a discussion about it b4.

    It's also good to hear that it has brought you closer together with your mum.

    I would be interested if, in your opinion, the portrayal of HIV on soaps (like Mark on Eastenders) is realistic.

    J9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I cant really remember what happened when everyone found out about mark having it on eastenders but from my experience I know that a lot of people disowned my mum and wouldnt go near her when they found out. She has learnt who her real friends are through it.
    I remember when I first found out my mum rung me up and asked if Id go and see her because there was something she wanted to tell me. In the car on the way to her house I dont know why but I had a gut feeling about what she was going to tell me. I went in gave her a hug and all that stuff like you do, my nan was there and a worker from george house, I sat next to her and she introduced me to the women that was there and said she was a friend who was there for moral support while she told me what was up. I sat next to her on the settee and she took my hand and said that the reason she had been ill for a while was because she was HIV positive. Because i was expecting something like that I gace her a hug and said Im so sorry mum, then I pulled back from her and said fuck me I need a cig mate, can I finish your brew off. She said yes and when I picked her mug up off the table and had a big gulp the women said dont worry you cant catch it through drinking that. I know she was just trying to give me a bit of info but I turned around to her and said well do you think i would be drinking it if I thought i would. I sparked a cig up and asked my mum how she was I just wanted to know if she was all right.After finishing my cig I immediatley sparked another up and another after that when I went to light a fourth up the women said I dont really think you need another do you. I was so angry because i was hurt about my mum and the fact i just wanted to sob my heart but didnt because my mum was I said to her well excuse me but has your mum got HIV she said no I said right well dont tell me when I need a fucking cig and when I dont. When I got home that night desree you gotta be came on the radio and I cried for hours and eventually cried myself to sleep.
    One thing I cant understand is that my nanna is still a bitch with my mum she falls out with her for weeks at a time over stupid things. I never argue with my mum anyomore I treasure every moment I get with her. I sit and watch her for ages when shes watching telly just because I know shes not gonna be there to watch for as long as Id like.

    Sorry that was so long but once I started typing I just wanted to get it off my chest, it feels good to tell people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see why people have to ignore people if they get HIV! Its not as if it can be passed on by drinking out the same cup. I don't know too much about HIV but what I do know is that it pisses me off when people wont even be in the same room as a HIV person! Do you get kids teasing you because your mum has HIV?

    I would be there for any of my friends or family if they got HIV or any other form of illness! I'd probably be shocked and upset for them at first but then I'd try and help as much as poss!!!!

    I bet your going through a tough time with this spirit! You know I'm here if you need to talk about it!

    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Broken Heart:
    I don't see why people have to ignore people if they get HIV! Its not as if it can be passed on by drinking out the same cup. I don't know too much about HIV but what I do know is that it pisses me off when people wont even be in the same room as a HIV person! Do you get kids teasing you because your mum has HIV?

    I would be there for any of my friends or family if they got HIV or any other form of illness! I'd probably be shocked and upset for them at first but then I'd try and help as much as poss!!!!

    I bet your going through a tough time with this spirit! You know I'm here if you need to talk about it!



    No one has ever given me shit about it, all my friends have been great about it. I dont really get upset about it that much. I do when Im pissed and when I hear songs that make me think of my mum, or if I see something on telly about it and people are really ill. I cant watch things like that because I know that one day im gonna be sat in a hospital watching my mum go through what they are and it really hurts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:

    No one has ever given me shit about it, all my friends have been great about it. I dont really get upset about it that much. I do when Im pissed and when I hear songs that make me think of my mum, or if I see something on telly about it and people are really ill. I cant watch things like that because I know that one day im gonna be sat in a hospital watching my mum go through what they are and it really hurts.

    It's good that you have your friends by your side giving you support! It will be a long time before you are in the hospital with your mum if she takes care of herself!



    Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope so!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    I hope so!!!

    Now that we are friends, I will be by your side too <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; Well as much as i can considering.



    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:

    Sorry that was so long but once I started typing I just wanted to get it off my chest, it feels good to tell people.

    That's the really great thing about this place, it gives us a chance to vent when we need to, and, more often than not, there is someone here to support you & take you back up the mood table <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Thanks for your insight

    j9

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just thought I'd post this for you Spirit,

    I found it on New Scientists website http://www.newscientist.com/dailynews/news.jsp?id=ns9999206

    just a bit of HIV research.

    J9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spirit, I think u and your mum r an inspiration to us all and u make it clear that no matter what obsticles u have to face in life, if u r strong u can get through them.
    I knew of a boy of 6 who had aids and he had caught it through his mother who had been a Heroin addict. It was devastating seeing this young boy who had never harmed anyone or done any wrong, suffering because of his mother sharing needles. I dont blame her either because u never really no the circumstamces and nobody decerves to get aids, no matter what they have done in life. Its just sad when u no that the poor child wont live to see his tenth birthday (maybe not even his eighth).
    I was supposed to have gone for an aids test a while ago but I chickened out. My midwife advised me too, as they advise everyone nowdays, but I never went ahead and got it done. I think that I might go have it, even though Im 6 and a half months pregnant and its too late to change anything now. I no Ill be fine, but its still worrying isnt it. I have to laugh at myself bein such a chicken at getting the test done, when u and your mum have faced much worse and seem so brave.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The awful thing is my mum thinks that she does deserve to have it.
    She was only 16 when she had me and her mum threw her out, she got with my little brothers dad and moved in with him, then she had my little brother, he was in and out of prison (step dad) and was very violent. He started to beat me when I was 1 and then when I was taken off my mum and was placed with my nan, my mum got me back a few times but she kept getting back with her boyfriend and they kept taking me and my brother away finally she had one last chance to get me and my brother back but the day we were in court her boyfriend got out of prison and she married him on that day. As you can imagine to find out your own mum has done that to you is heart breaking but I have gotten over it (sort of), as a result of her decision she then got HIV off him and me and my brother were in childrens homes and foster parents from the age of 4, we saw our mum every other week for a few hours until we were 6, then we werent allowed because we were put up for adoption. Me and my brother danny have always been with each other until social services decided that because he was halfcast we could not have a family together. I got adopted when I was 11 and hated leaving my brother, he was my only family and I had looked after him and been like a mum to him. We had lived at about 30 different places from being 4 but there was always us two. My brother and I see each other nearly every week and he is in a childrens home still at 14 and be there until he is old enough to live on his own. We have got another brother called lewiss who lives with my mum he is a little **** and hates me and Danny.
    He treats my mum like crap and talks to her like a pice of dirt I know he is only oyung bu the doesnt realise how lucky he is to have her. I would have loved to have lived with my mum.

    [This message has been edited by Spirit (edited 28-11-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my mum thinks that she deserves what she got because me and Danny have had shit childhoods, our danny is a little thief, he fights all the time and is always getting arrested he goes to AC every other week and his dad died of aids.
    I suppose we have had it quite rough but things are getting better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow, thank you for sharing that with us. It's so good to see that even with an extreme life like the one you've had so far, you can still end up as a caring person.

    I hope that things (in general) turn out better for you from now on.

    I feel kinda guilty now for my occasional wallowings in self pity.

    Sounds to me like you are an eternal optamist <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would never have known about your past just by chatting to you cause you seem so nice!!!!!!

    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Broken Heart:
    I would never have known about your past just by chatting to you cause you seem so nice!!!!!!


    I mean you don't seem arrogant or selfish or anything



    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trust me I can be arrogant and selfish.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit:
    Trust me I can be arrogant and selfish.

    Yeah, but so can everybody. You're still great - like he says - for having come through so much and still being like you are.

    Go on, feel that nice warm feeling from all the approval around here <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    (Yeah, yeah, I know I've only started posting the last couple of days, but it's not hard to see that everyone likes you).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by JB:
    Yeah, but so can everybody. You're still great - like he says - for having come through so much and still being like you are.

    Go on, feel that nice warm feeling from all the approval around here <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    (Yeah, yeah, I know I've only started posting the last couple of days, but it's not hard to see that everyone likes you).


    here here


    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am touched by everyones comments so far and i just wanna say thanx to you all for making me feel so good!
    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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