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Seeing Green!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Anyone got any handy tips on how to stop yourself getting jelouse!? Im such a jelouse person it drives me crazy. I need to stop putting myself through such hell by getting envious of stupid stuff!
For instance, my best friend Kay, who I love to bits and means the world to me. She has been like an older sister/mother/mate for years now and although she is a lot older than me we get on like a house on fire! An old friend of mine, Heidi, who I was very close to but fell out with severly still talks to Kay. They often go out together and see each other sometimes. This drives me mad. It shouldnt bother me because Kay is free to have other mates but I cant help how I feel. They only know each other through me and I cant stnad the thought that Heidi bothers with Kay and dosent give a flying fuck about me?! Stupid isnt it, Im better off wothout the likes of Heidi yet I cant beleive she wont talk to me and talks to Kay.
This probably sounds pathetic, and it is because Ive a lot more importnant things to be wasting my emotions on. But I just cant help it, I get so jelouse when I hear they have been together!
Please can someone help me get over this jelouse thing, it really gets me down (even though its so stupid!).
Sorry for writing such a pants letter.
Lolly

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not a "pants" letter lolly, jealousy is a real problem for me too.

    My best friend has just made friends with a person who lives up the road from her, it sounds like they are getting on really well and I ought to be really pleased for her. I know that no-one could ever have the friendship which we share because of what we've both been through, but when she tells me about this friend I get knotted up inside.

    I know that for me, the only way out of this is to become her friend too.

    Is there any possibility of you making up with Heidi again? The only other thing I could suggest is to have a chat with Kay, tell her how you feel, in a sympathy seeking, asking for understanding way, and ask her if she could perhaps not mention it to you when she sees Heidi.

    This, unfortunately, puts a burden on Kay, but I'm sure she would understand. Most people have experienced the irrational nature of jealousy to a greater or lesser extent.

    If I think of anything else I'll come back to you.

    Chin up, how's the pregnancy going?

    J9

    PS all emotions are more intense when you are pregnant!! (at least they were for me).

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi lolly,
    im a jealous person 2, i used to b terrible though. if shes such a good mate to u then she wont betray ur friendship, if she does, i knopw its hard, but she aint worth it.
    i just think sod it, people like me 4 who i am, if they dont its their loss, well it makes me feel better anyway!
    c ya love helly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers u 2, but im much better now. Just read my post and laughed at myself. I get so worked up!!!
    Its not really possible to get friends with Heidi as she was the one who broke it off. It was actually over Kay and she made up a lot of bullshit to Kay trying to get rid of me. Thankfully Kay didnt fall for it.
    Kay is also aware of what Heidi is like and I know for a fact she dosent even think that much of her. but still I get pissed off!!???
    Anyway, U r right about the emotion/pregnant thing j9j9, Im just terrible. I dont cry easy and infact it takes me a lot to feel really sad about anything but lately Ive been terrible. I even cry when people win quizshows on tv!!!I think its also connected to the fact I was on Prozac for years and stopped a few months ago. I could never feel real emotion on that shit (or the other stuff I prescribed myself!!!!).
    Anyway thanx again u 2... <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">.
    Hope u r both well
    Lolly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get really jealous as well, about loads of things. Do you want to be friends with Heidi again. What was it that made you fall out with each other?

    If you got on really well before then you could probably get on well again, if someone works at it a bit.

    If there's no possibility at all of you ever making up with Heidi, then probably best if you ask Kay to talk about something else, and try to avoid the topic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmmm, pregnancy hormones, I remember them well.

    I would be crying over spilt milk one minute and laughing in hysterics at something really stupid the next.

    Its funny because lastnight i was replying to this post telling you how you might look back on this and laugh the next day.

    The bloody browser went haywire, I tried to post and wouldn't let me so I pressed the back button and my typing had gone! <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    Anyway, glad you and the bump are doing fine and make the most of your crazy emotions because next comes sleepless nights, smelly nappies and thats the least of it! <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers Caliph and Gwaimui.
    I do want to be friends with Heidi, I miss her a lot but for silly reasons. We went through a lot together and did a lot of bad things together that did neither of us any favours. She is a completly different person to me, people r very scared of her and I guess nobody really looks down on her. Where as I dont have so much self confidence and tend to put myself below other people, if u get what I mean. People tell me that when we were mates, she treated me like shit, and looking back I guess I did take a lot of crap from her. But when she treated me well, she really did and she stood by me through a lot of bad times.
    However, when I was admitted to hospital, things seemed to change. She promised me that she wouldnt just dump me while I was in there and I told her how much I would need her around. But from that point we were never the same again. I guess we drifted apart.
    The thing that ended it all was when she stopped talking to me. I finally found out why, she said that I had gone around telling people that she stole from my house. That was complete crap, and to top it all of she said that Kay was the one whotold her I had said that. Both me and Kay knew this wasnt the case and I know Heidi was simply trying to get me out of the picture. She was the one who broke off our relationship,not me. She said a lot of very hurtfull things and eneded it by saying she wanted nothing to do with me.
    I hope that lets u know a bit more about the situation Caliph. Oh, and Gwaimui... thanx for the sleepless night stuff Ive been really looking foward to all those (ha ha ha!)!!!
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