Cheating!!!!

Former Member

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and i truely do love him to bits, however i am finding myself stuck in a rut!! I am getting bored of the same routine everyday and want some more excitement!! I recently went to a club and actually ended up sleeping with someone else, although it meant nothing and i feel totally dirty!! i love my boyfriend so much, but it can't be good if i am finding myslef cheating on him, and have been tempted to on more than one occasion!

i don't want to end it, i mean why end a good thing there is nothing wrong with our relationship we get on well!! but i want to exeriment with new people, what should i do??

Former Member

If there is "nothing wrong" then you don't fuck a random. Unless you are a deeply selfish, uncaring, unfeeling bitch.

Former Member

Me and my guy were finding ourselves in a rut bout the 2year stage, we both talked it over loads and decided we wanted to do something about it as we cared for eachother so much, we've now been together just over 4years
Try starting out again, making the time to go out for a nice meal/cinema/theatre/picnic or something, make the time to spend an evening in just the two of you. If youve found that youve been neglecting your friends a bit then let the two of you spend time with them, apart. We tried all those aswell as new things in the bedroom too toys, undies, different positions/places you no the sort of thing. But dont give up, try not to go looking for the excitment somewhere else, but if you continue to then maybe youve got to face that the relationship just isnt going to work.
good luck!

Former Member

DO NOT CHEAT AGAIN. That won't sort anything out. Infact, that could be the nail in the coffin for this relationship. It's already in trouble as it is. You don't really explain much of how things are getting boring. If the day-to-day routine is dull, tell him about it. Maybe you can go somewhere together from time to time, so the days no longer feel like ad nauseum. If the boredom is more sexual, start experimenting with each other. Use sex toys, different techniques, different positions, and have fun while you're at it. However, if nothing can be done, the best thing to do might be bring the relationship to a sad, but amicable end.

Former Member

Something's wrong...hence you cheated...if he found out, you'd hurt him a lot. I may have not grasped the gist of the emotion behind your post (mainly cause its typed and you really can't) but...you seem to be...missing the big picture?! There wasn't a sense of...guilt or anything...just a sense of "Good fun, wanna do it again but ya know, am in a relationship, how do I go about it" ??! Maybe that's just me...! But if you're serious about maintaining your current relationship, go with um...lol...'bums-aren't they yum's suggestions! Spice up what you have, put everything into what you have.

If you want to experiement with new people then the only route is to leave the current cause it's unfair to consistently cheat to experience new kicks. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but, am kinda, feeling the same vibe as I think Kermit picked up on.

Malt Munk x

Former Member

Originally posted by malteser monkay
Something's wrong...hence you cheated...if he found out, you'd hurt him a lot. I may have not grasped the gist of the emotion behind your post (mainly cause its typed and you really can't) but...you seem to be...missing the big picture?! There wasn't a sense of...guilt or anything...just a sense of "Good fun, wanna do it again but ya know, am in a relationship, how do I go about it"?

Hmm, on reflection, there does seem to be a lack of any emotion in the original post. Unless she is prepared to put one hell of a big effort into making this relationship work, it's good as dead.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Hmm, on reflection, there does seem to be a lack of any emotion in the original post. Unless she is prepared to put one hell of a big effort into making this relationship work, it's good as dead.

Agree with you there bud . Maybe I'm just in a harsh mood though . Maybe he's not aware of any problems? I mean, although I enjoy experimenting and stuff,I'm a sod for routine. After so long together, ad so much routine, if it changes can be abit scary knowing you thought you were going on good...and he might guess the real reason for her sudden need to change their relationship

Former Member

Re: Cheating!!!!

Originally posted by Lilxhunnyx
i don't want to end it, i mean why end a good thing there is nothing wrong with our relationship we get on well!! but i want to exeriment with new people, what should i do??

It obviously isn't a good thing or you wouldn't have cheated and been tempted numerous times. Something must be wrong with your relationship... you said yourself "I am finding myself stuck in a rut".

What you should do is be honest with yourself first and foremost. You aren't happy so stop pretending.

Former Member

Once a cheater always a cheater, I think i no what your talking about with my last gf everything was great loved her to bits said i would never cheat on her, but things did get a bit boreing sick of the same routine every day
i went out got drunk and slept with someone else & felt so guilty after, but i found myself doing it more often so i ended it and never looked back im happy sleeping around.

Former Member

Hi guys well thanx for some of the advice!! I want everyone to know that even though its impossible to think so after what i said, i am not uncaring or unfeeling, just confused, it does happen!! just because perhaps you are all in stable positions doesn't mean everyone else is!! I have a lot going on in my life, and maybe it took you guys to let me know that i am not doing my b/f any good by staying with him, because i have been a complete selfish bitch lately!!

Former Member

yes but don't just dump him becouse people on here say you should:D

Former Member

I really don't get what some people are saying, i get the feeling that some people, are just saying why not shoot yourself now your not worth existing in the human race now you've made a mistake!! Thats all it was a mistake, its been eating me up and i truely hate myself for it, i know i will never do i again!!
But now your saying don't dump him, but what if he finds out, it will kill him!!

Former Member

You need to finish with him if youre planning on sleeping around.
Theres nothing wrong with sleeping around per-se` but there is if youre convincing your boyfriend that youre faithful and that your relationship is monogamous and actually going somewhere.
Youre not excited by him anymore, and while its not his fault and you still may have feelings for him, youre not right for him, and hes not right for you, otherwise you wouldnt even WANT to sleep with anyone else, let alone go and really do it.
finish with him and do your own thing for a while.

Former Member

This is what i'm trying to say i am NOT PLANNING on sleeping around i made one mistake!!! i

Former Member

thats what im saying there is no point in making you & yr bf
really unhappy you love him and made a mistake he will be more hert if you finish with him or tell him. it happend to me once i found out wish i just never found out .

Former Member

p.s the feeling guilty part should only last about 1 week b4 yr back to normal.

Former Member

I know what youre saying. Ive been there too. With my ex, I started feeling like I was missing something and wanted to experiment with other people, but on the other hand, I still loved him. I felt awful about it, it was a really hard time and at times I just wished I could have brain surgery just so I could stop feeling those feelings, and be happy like I used to be. I still really loved him, but it just wasnt enough anymore. It took me ages to finally finish with him, because I kept finishing it, and then changing my mind. Eventually I did finish it, and although it was hard, after a few weeks I just felt like a huge weight had been lifted and we still stayed friends for quite a while afterwards. I then did my single bit for a while and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I dont know if thats anything like what youre going through, but if it is, then thats how I dealt with it.

Former Member

Yea thanx,that sounds pretty much exactly what i'm going through!! but i don't wana end it just yet, i can't imagine life without him!! thanx tho xx

Former Member

Yes stay with him.

Former Member

Originally posted by CHARLY
Once a cheater always a cheater,

thats not true, i cheated on all my boyfriends although it was only kissing (but still cheeating) and i was like 15-16... now im with sean (im back with him for those of you who know who im talkign about) and i have never cheated or wanted to on him... i love him too much, so sometimes people can change.

Former Member

I should not of said that its true.

Former Member

most of the times they dont change, but there are the few that do -like me:angel:

Former Member

And me!!

Former Member

i don't think i would change thats why i wont have a gf then no one gets hert.

Former Member

Soz lilhunny! Think I got the wrong end of the stick from your post, got the impression you wanted to continue cheating but have bf at the same time. I haven't cheated, I think there are certain circumstances where, don't wanna say it's acceptable but you understand where I'm heading, where it just happens and ya know mistakes are human blah dee blah

Good luck

Malt Munk xx

Former Member

Yea thanx, it was just a mistake, never again!! do you think it is possible, to move on and forget about it, without anyoe getting hurt from it though??

Former Member

yes

Former Member

cool thats what i wanted to know!!:p

Former Member

Originally posted by Lilxhunnyx
cool thats what i wanted to know!!:p

Btw you shouldnt beleive people so easily.... take your own Initiative first, not everyone is right all the time, im not saying Charly is wrong but sometimes you need to have an opinoin about it yourself. you appear to just be listening to everyone else....
just a thought x

Former Member

i think i just told what she already new.

Former Member

Originally posted by Lilxhunnyx
Yea thanx, it was just a mistake, never again!! do you think it is possible, to move on and forget about it, without anyoe getting hurt from it though??

only you can answer that. If youre sure its not ever going to happen again, then keep schtum, and dont tell him. If you still feel that you want to experiment but feel guilty about wanting to do that, then I cant promise you its gonna work, because you might be able to kid other people, but you cant kid yourself for very long.