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Postcard From the Edge

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
No, this post has nothing to do with a film starrring Mel Gibson & Goldie Hawn.

As some of you know I'm due in hospital later and just wanted to write some feelings I have as I can't sleep due a nasty case of anxiety.

I am relieved for this stint inside as I will hopefully finally be able to this screwed up head of mine. Depression is the worst thing I have experienced in my entire life.

I have been a diagnosed with this illness for some 5 years now, and have refused help before. I have hit the point where I can not physically let alone mentally cope with the depths that lurk in my mind.

Asking for help with this illness is the heardest thing one can do, making the first step certainly was hard on me, and the things I said, did during physchiatric sessions left me resenting my life more. Now I am ready to put myself on the path to recovery and resume normal life again. It'll be nice to look in the mirror as opposed to just seeing a reflection.

I'm sorry for rambling on but I had to release some of this anxiety. thanks for listening. If anyone feels despair never be afraid to ask for help.

Take care
Luka

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure I speak for more than just myself Luka when I say good luck & we'll be thinking of you.

    Good luck, I'm sure the road will be a tough one, but won't it be wonderful to be on top of the hill looking down on the trees instead of trying to look through them.

    You have friends rooting for you, take care & get well.

    J9

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll miss our lttle chats Luka when u go in hospital. I really hope the treatment helps and I am looking forward to more chats with u when u go back home.

    Take Care, Loadsa Love from GwaiMui <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/icons/icon7.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You take care, we will be here for you when you get back,

    kind regards
    derby
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you've read my last post you'll know that you're not alone. Coping with depression is one of the hardest thing that I have had to cope with, but councilling is helping to make me better. Maybe you should try councilling, it's amazing the difference it makes to talk to someone.

    IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good luck and stick at it as it will b worht it in the end.
    c ya
    love helly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Friends,

    I would like to firstly thank you all for your kind words of support, it means alot to have the feeling of a base of friends to return to.

    I thought you might like to know I had my assesment session today and came to the decision with the psychiatrist ( who unusually is not a pretenious asshole) that I will be admitted to their ward on Monday for a starting period of 2 weeks to be reviewed as progress (and funds) dictate.

    It feels a relief, to feel that I'm on the road to recovery, ok it's a slow road, but I've taken my first proper step. I am truly greatful for the health insurance supplied by my company as the hospital is a nice friendly place.

    The one problem though is amongst my many problems, he wants to treat me for internet addiction, he thinks that a 7 hour stint online most days is exessive <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; can't see it myself !! lol. I will be allowed to take my laptop with me but not a modem cable, so contact will be difficult. Any ideas ?.

    I'll speak to you soon, take care. And remember the first step to recovery isn't an easy one but is well worth it. don't ever feel alone. If you want any advice about depression I have discovered a wondeful site by a uk charity called the depression Alliance: http://www.depressionalliance.org

    Take care to my friends I know, and those i've yet to meet.

    Luka

    the river is wide and oh so deep
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Luka, I dont no u but my thoughts r with u. For me hospital was one of the worst yet best experiances of my life. While u r there u will want only to be away, but as soon as u r away u will realise and be very thankfull for the time u had there.
    I really hope it works out for u, stick with it and dont give up!
    Lots of love lolly xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    Hope things are going well in Hospital. Keep us all posted on your progress.

    I really hope things aren't as scary as you thought they'd be.

    Thinking of you,
    Rob.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LUKA:


    The one problem though is amongst my many problems, he wants to treat me for internet addiction, he thinks that a 7 hour stint online most days is exessive <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; can't see it myself !! lol. I will be allowed to take my laptop with me but not a modem cable, so contact will be difficult. Any ideas ?.


    I think that I must spend 7 hrs a day on the net, but I don't see it as a problem. It's usually split down into several chunks though.

    Try directing him to this site so he can see the support we give each other.

    <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    J9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just show him what happens here. Good luck with your life. Admitting that you have a mental illness and getting help for it can be so hard, but everyone needs help sometime. Take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    isn't it typical, you set yourself up ready for admission to hospital, you check up with the hospital, and the insurer that there aren't going to be glitches. To find out first you're admitted for Sunday and not Monday, then the insurer won't pay the claim despite forms and letters to say they will. Well as you can see it's been a bitch of a day, to finally get confirmation that they will pay when they sort it out with the hospital. I now have to wait to hear when I can go in, ok it might be Monday as first expected, or even Tuesday, but the uncertantity just what I needed. Talk about bieng kicked in the teeth for having a couple of good(ish) days.

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