Plz help!!

Former Member

Hi guys! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
I'm new to this board so I'd betta introduce myself 2 U all - My names Louise,I'm 17 and come from Birmingham. I hope 2 get 2 know all U regulars on here soon! Anyways, I've gotta bit of a problem at the moment and I hope some1 can help me out! My mate has really liked this lad for ages, but the thing is, I've started to like him 2. Apparently, he really likes me but I don't wanna do anything about it because of my mate. The lad keeps telling me that I'm gonna give in 2 him at this party we are going to on new years eve, and I'm scared that I will. I do really like him, but I know how it feels cos my (ex) mate went of with a boy I was supposed 2 B seeing and it was not nice! She's not seeing this boy, just really likes him but she's still a mate and I've always said mates come B4 blokes, it's just that I do really like him! Plz help,I'm in such a state!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

Former Member

If this girl is a really good mat ei would forget about the lad, it always ends in tears and at the end of the day youve got to look at it this way,

is this boy really serious about you and do you think you could have a long lasting relationship with him and would it be worth falling out with your mate over,

remember girls are very bitchy and it wont just be your mate that would fall out with you it would be other mates 2, they will say your a backstabber and you knew she liked him but you just went ahead and wnet with him,

I know your mate isnt seeing him and technically you should be able to do what you like with him and it shouldnt even be an issue, at the end of the day if he doesnt want her she needs to find someone who does and then you wouldnt feel so guilty about liking him,

one thing i would NOT reccomend is going with him and keeping it because if she finds out she will just think you are worse,

I know you should be able to go with him but at the end of the day your mates not gonna see it that way, and you have to think about the consequences first and are you prepared for them,

on the other hand she might not have a problem with it and might not care, you could talk to her about ti and get your feelings in the open and see what she thinks about the fact that you want to see him,

and one more thing the fact that this guy is so confident that hes gonna get you and is sayoing you will give in too him makes me think you should keep away, he could be having bets hell get you or he could just be playing games,

Welcome to thesite by the way!!

Former Member

Wow, long post spirit. hope it didn't hurt too much thinking all that up! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Luv_n_hugz, yeah - what spirit said. And welcome to thesite from me.

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I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.

Former Member

Hi luv_n_hugz & welcome to thesite.

The only thing you can do is talk to your mate about it. Only problem is, if she's a really good mate she'll probably say "that's ok, you go ahead" but inside she might be crying <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

It's difficult, but whatever happens, we'll be here to pick up the pieces <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

j9

Former Member

Originally posted by j9j9:

It's difficult, but whatever happens, we'll be here to pick up the pieces <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

I can vouch for that! These lot have been very helpful recently (long story).

Tell your mate how you feel about this lad. If your friendship with her means more to you than said lad, then tell her that too. Whatever happens, I wouldn't go giving in to this lad on New Years' (well actually, I probably would knowing me, but I'd regret it after) your mate is likely to be a pissed off whether things are OK between the two of you or not. Be honest with her, take things slowly and see how it goes.

Good luck, and welcome to TheSite!

*|* Chica *|*

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Stay Calm <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Helloooo, welcome to thesite <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">.
Ive been in this sort of situation before and I ended up not goin out with the bloke only to find my mate goin out with him after I said no!Nice eh? I think the question u gotta ask yourself is, would she do it to u if the boot was on the other foot? If u think that she would go out with this bloke without a second thought then go for it before she has the chance, but if she is a genuine mate and wouldnt do it to u then I suggest u dont. Whatever u decide to do, U should talk to her first and let her know how u feel. Personally I think she should understand that the bloke likes u and accept it, but that can be hard to do and if she is the jelous type it might turn her against u.
Its hard to say what u should do really, I think only u can decide. Just wondered if this bloke was a bit up himself by saying that you will end up with him at this party? He sounds very confident in himself if u ask me...just a thought, I dont no him so I cant really slag the poor bloke off can I lol!!

Former Member

Thanx everyone!
I was planning to speak 2 my friend 2nite but I realise now that my friendship with her is much more important 2 me than any boy. I'll see how she feels about it, but knowing her she'll say shes alright about it when really, she'll be hating me for it.
He'll probably be trying it on at the party but I'm gonna have to tell him what I've decided, even though he'll probably still hassle me! He is a really nice lad but I don't think I like him enough 2 loose a friend over.
Anyway, thanx again everyone, U've bin a gr8 help! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Originally posted by luv_n_hugz:
Thanx everyone!
I was planning to speak 2 my friend 2nite but I realise now that my friendship with her is much more important 2 me than any boy. I'll see how she feels about it, but knowing her she'll say shes alright about it when really, she'll be hating me for it.
He'll probably be trying it on at the party but I'm gonna have to tell him what I've decided, even though he'll probably still hassle me! He is a really nice lad but I don't think I like him enough 2 loose a friend over.
Anyway, thanx again everyone, U've bin a gr8 help! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

If he's worth his salt he'll see that you have integrity and will respect you for that. Who knows what will happen further down the line <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

j9

Former Member

After reading the first post I realised how grateful I am to be male. If I was in the same situation with my mate, he'd call me a "jammy bastard" and that would be the end of it, our lives are so much simpler than yours! However one piece of advice which is soooo blindingly obvious that nobody has thought of....
What makes you think you are gonna give in to this boy??? Is it cos u'll be pissed? If the answer is yes,...wait for it....DONT DRINK. Do what I sometimes do to save money, let everybody else get pissed and you can act like a fool and nobody will notice <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
You will only end up with the boy if you let yourself end up with him. If you use your brain and be sensible you wont need to worry about it.

Former Member

I'm just curious about what happened in the end, i knwo you said you were going to forget about him,

but you never know.

Dont take that offensively by the way.

Im just wondering.

Former Member

Originally posted by Spirit:
I'm just curious about what happened in the end, i knwo you said you were going to forget about him,

but you never know.

Dont take that offensively by the way.

Im just wondering.

Well, I definately made the right decision in the end! My friend said she wouldn't mind if me and him got 2getha but I could tell she was lying so I stuck by my decision not to. At the party, I saw a completely different side 2 him - one I didn't like! He couldn't handle my decision so he started turning nasty. He even threatened 2 start a fight on this one lad who he saw me with! Me & my mates managed 2 calm him down in the end & he's alright with me now but it got me thinking, if I did decide 2 start seeing him, what would he be like with every boy I was seen talking 2! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Im dead pleased u made the right decision i bet it was hard for you as well.

Nice one girl!!

Former Member

Good move. Glad to see someone on the boards is able to make decisions that turn out right in the end <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

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I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.

Former Member

Phew luv_n_hugz, lucky you made the right decision <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

j9

Former Member

Thanx guys!!
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;