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Laugh.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I did.

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAYNE GO
TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed
council.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"


An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter.
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear as he was a bit deaf. "No"
she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."


Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."


An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."


Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of car till
she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"


An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one
of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it ?
So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me
right foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"
"Cor! exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A
on them.
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Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    terrible!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is the title of the thread an instruction, just in case you dont realise what you're supposed to do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You gotta have a sence of humor before you read them tho.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    haha, made me laugh - very good! ;p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought they were funny.... actually i liked them alot...im an easy laugh anyways x
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I liked them. The "fire extinguisher" made me laugh loudly (for a moment) and I'm in a library... :blush:
    Though they'd be as funny without the "essex" parts.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    some of them are old but still funny :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Damn Essex jokes.

    *sniffle wiffle*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    haha cracking jokes, i think they are great :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheered me up before heading off into that stuff called weather
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what's so significant about the girl being an 'Essex girl"??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Angel121077
    what's so significant about the girl being an 'Essex girl"??

    I guess its a big like saying that she lives in a trailer, or that she's from the deep south, its to suggest that she is stupid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ahhh, ic..
    thanks
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    I guess its a big like saying that she lives in a trailer, or that she's from the deep south, its to suggest that she is stupid.

    or blonde...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    or blonde...

    i'm not stupid....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nor are all those from essex, it's just a further example to aid the translation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Nor are all those from essex, it's just a further example to aid the translation.

    ohhhh okay.. haha
    i was thinking, "geeze.. i know you hate me.. but you don't hafta call me stupid"
    :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *grins*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    *grins*

    now, is this an evil grin??
    or a happy, i'm-eating-pie grin?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You know me so well. If I had pie, it's be the happy i'm-eating-pie grin, as it is, I have no pie til monday so it's happy grin
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why don't you get to have pie until monday???

    do you want me to mail you some chicken pot pie??
    or some apple pie?
    or... cherry pie?
    or strawberry pie?
    ohh... how about key lime pie.... that's my FAVORITE...

    just name a pie... (that's not a psycho, meat pie.. unless it's chicken pot pie)
    and i'll mail it to ya'!


    actually, you know what?? thanksgiving is coming up...
    i'll mail you PUMPKIN PIE!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude, you need to come over here and have steak and ale pie with chips and a pint in a proper english pub.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    now, do you mean chips as in french fries? or chips as to what americans call chips??

    okay... you mail me a 'steak and ale" pie
    and i'll mail you a pumpkin pie with tons of whippped cream on it... :yum:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chips are not french fries, they are chunky chunky not macdonalds shit. But not chips as in crisps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Chips are not french fries, they are chunky chunky not macdonalds shit. But not chips as in crisps

    ...come again?

    edit::: okay never mind.. i get it....
    not all french fries over here a skinny like nasty mcdonalds food...
    we have nice fat fries too....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Angel121077
    ...come again?

    Chips
    love%20chips%20holding%20page(3).jpg

    Why it not work!?

    Link
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    look like regular fries to me...

    mmmmm... makes me hungry!

    waffle fries are the BEST!!!! do you have that over there??

    and how about onion rings?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Angel121077
    look like regular fries to me...

    and how about onion rings?

    Fries are thin and crispy.

    Chips are thickly cut wedges of potato, deep friendf in dripping :yum:

    Never heard of waffle fries, unless you mean potato waffles.

    Of course we have onion rings. I make lovely onion rings, my batter is delicious.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Of course we have onion rings. I make lovely onion rings, my batter is delicious.

    mmm...
    you'll have to mail me some!
    i loooovveee onion rings :yum:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ha ha ha. I really liked those.
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