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low self confidence
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i didn't know where to put this, but anyway... i suffer from really low self confidence and it is all a result of my parents and my ex boyfriends, they all tell me im not good enough and im not good at anything, im horrible and my ex boyfriend used to tell me that i was ugly and they used to take the piss out of my ears, i think i have big ears but all my friends don't think i do, it is making my life hell because i am with a guy i love and my low self confidence always causes us to argue. please help me i need to get over this <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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a handy rule of thumb is to avoid people who make you feel bad! nobody has got the right to put you down like that, families are supposed to be supportive.
Also you said you love your boyfriend. Does he love you too? Can you explain to him how you're feeling? It may mean that he will be extra supportive at a time when you need it. And remember to keep posting.
Take care, love S xxxxx
It would also be an idea to be more picky with the people whom you choose to spend time with. There will always be people ready to put you down, but you decide how to react to that.
Everyone needs to learn to respect themselves and that can only come from you, not other people.
Everyone keeps telling me to go to counselling but I know that won't do me any good. What I really need is to get away from the situation cos I know unless I get away from my bitch of a grandma I'll end up shoving her down the stairs (or at least hitting her). There's nothin' to do where I live either which makes it even harder to meet new ppl (most of my friends either bore me, have moved away or are pregnant).
low self esteem
building self esteem
Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I had low self confidence until i was about 16/17 then i just said to myself who gives a fuck what people think. And i just take everything as it comes. Try it, it worked a charm for me
I had eating disorders a few years back and the slightest comment on food or what i ate or what i looked like made me stop eating. realising how sensitive i was to criticism i think made them realise that i needed more support.
have you tried telling them that what they say damages your confidence and self esteem. is there a chance they do it without realising the effect it has on you? perhaps if you said 'what you just said makes me hate myself so do you not want to say it anymore' its blunt but it seems the only way you can get through to them.
As for men and relationships, they come and go, some are nice, some arent... its life and no doubt blokes can relate to the same when it comes to their girl friends and exes. I had my confidence so badly beaten in one relationship that once i managed to get out and moved onto another guy he suffered because of the previous one and i was so paranoid. why is he with me? why is he looking at her? stuff like that... i think i damaged his confidence too and i have apologised for it now that we are no longer together.
When you have doubts i suggest talking to your closest friends. I have a very special friends who i've known 8 years now and i know that she will be there for me no matter what and if i had a doubt in the world that she would help me. while i went through a stage of 'I'm so ugly and fat and gross, my parents hate me, my boyf doesnt think i'm thin enough blah blah blah' she put me straight by telling me i was perfect the way i was and that a bloke isnt worth slipping into anorexia again for and that my parents probably dont realise what they say hurts so tell them...
ok... i'll stop rambling... hth a little.