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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i didnt really know where to post this... but decided health was best <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I dont have a problem as such, just need somewhere to air my worries n get any feedback u may have!
ok, here goes...

a couple of years ago my dad was diagnosed with clinical depression. He decided to try this diet which my mum is on, which helps her Candida (whole other story).
The diet really helped, its surprising how the food u eat can change your mood! but he finds it REALLY difficult to keep to cos he cant have any sugar or yeast. When he breaks the diet we can tell (me, mum, big sis) cos he gets really stressed and doesnt talk to us. When hes depressed the whole house is like its under pressure. Im scared to go downstairs incase he shouts - he goes off on one about dumb things like shutting a door too loud or getting in his way! <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Anyway, recently my sister revealed she was raped when she was 16 (shes now 23) and has been seeing a counsellor because she has felt that dad doesnt love her since she was young. mum told my dad and he was devastated, ofcourse. So he tried to be cheerful infront of her, which didnt work cos then me n mum just took the brunt of it.

Mum found me crying one day, So she told him he needs to change his ways, that he does infact have 2 daughters n that i was bein affected by it. Now its all really messed up cos hes trying to be something he isnt, and its crushing him.

We all know that the root of his depression is his job. So, hes trying to find a new one - the process of which is stressing him out even more. When he changes jobs, he wont be on as big a salary so we'll have to move - which i REALLY dont want to do cos ive lived here since i was 6 and i absolutely love it.

im just coming up to doing my gcse's and i cant concentrate; just recently my self confidence has really slipped and im starting to seriously hate myself; all my friends are saying im withdrawn cos i dont wanna talk to them (they just go on about sex and blokes ALL the time)... i really dnt know what to do!

I dont think i can stick it out... my sister told mum how she nearly killed herself in the bath one day!
im so worried about my mum, shes trying to keep the family together and she never gets any love back because its making us all so depressed!
Oh and my sisters counsellor is one of my most hated teachers from school, who knows that shes my sister. That bitch knows everything thats goin on in my family so now i cant look her in the eye!

sorry this is so long and boring, feel free to close the topic if u think thats best!



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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. You talked about so much in your post, so I am going to pick a couple of the things out to advise you on...
    Firstly when so much is going on at home and everyone else is suffering so, it can be hard to notice that you are suffering to, as in comparison to, say, your dad, your worries may seem insignificant. However they are not. It may be worth confiding in someone yourself, either a close friend or a counsellor. Your mates may suprise you, why not mention to one that you're having a hardtime at home, if they are a true friend they should be a little more understanding about why you are so withdrawn. Now obviously you don't want the same counsellor as your sister, so why not go to your GP and ask about services locally, there may even be someone at your local surgery.
    See our mental health specialfor more. It explains counselling, has a case study about counselling and also talks about how to cope when a member of your family has a mental health problem

    As for your dad's clinical depression - it is true that certain foods can help, however the best treatment is a combination of talking therapy (counselling, psychoanalysis etc) and antidepressants. The antidepressants help keep a balance so that your dad can work out the root of the problem.

    Finally your exams - I think you should confide in one of your teachers(one you like/ trust)- you needn't go into all the details, but they will probably be more understanding about say, handing work in late and may be able to come up with some way to help you keep up with your work.

    Hope that helps a bit
    Come on the boards anytime you need some help or a friendly ear too, you may find the relationships forum is more helpful...

    Take care
    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not gonna try and be an armchair psychologist cause i don't think that'll really help, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having a tough time and we're always around for a chat if you need one. Try and force a smile eh? <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for being so nice - i thought u'd just think i was having a bit of a moan!
    susie - im gunna talk to one of my teachers and see what they can do, and im probably gunna go see the school counsellor where im at.
    gems - thanku for being supportive <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Thanks again,

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't feel like you have to be happy and smily around your mates- or talk/join in with their chats. The fact is just being around them will help!!
    As for your exams, I know you might not want to draw attention to yourself, but you can have letters sent in with your exam papers and they do make allowances- trust me, my sister's friend was predicted C's at A-level, and a letter went in with her exams saying her step father had just died, and she got A's. I have letters in with my GCSE modulars. It takes a weight off your mind.
    If you feel you need a chat, like Gems sed- we're always here (me especially, I keep thinking I'm missing something.... oh yeah, sleep....).
    Smile <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">! And *hugs!*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not gonna give advice ... well .... but talking about problems always helps. Good luck with the counselling and stuff and remember your friends are so called for a reason. I'm sure that they would understand. Whatever happens though, you're invisible friends on TheSite are always around with a metaphorical shoulder to cry and ear to listen.

    Thinking of you. xxx
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