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A friends eating disorder - possibly

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
My friend used to be bulimic a few uears ago. Over the past week shes been sayin how fat she is (shes a size 6/8)and how shes guna starve or go on a detox diet.
The thing is she wont eat in th e day but binges at night - i dont think she makes herself sick tho at the moment.
What can i do to help or do you think she has a problem?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she's a minor, I'd get the parents involved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting the rents involved is stupid advice that will only make things worse for her.

    How did your friend get over the bulimia last time, maybe you should avise her to go through the same process again. Or get ehr to see the school counsellor, the doctor, or someone similar, so that they can help her get over the self-esteem issues that surround bulimia. But most of all just be there for her.

    Read the mental health magazine on TheSite too for some good advice <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">


    (do I get that comission money now Susie? <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kermit, my best friend has been starving her self since september and she has lost alot of weight. were told the school and they talked to her parents but nothing happened. she has tried to make herself be sick but she cant manage it and she gets depressed and ill all the time. we're really worried about her but theres not much we can do apart from tell her what damage she is doing to herself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this might anger a few ppl but its not my opinion ok!
    my best mates mum (a nurse) has told us to avoid the subject and ignore her when she says shes fat because it just encourages her and its a form of attention seeking.i do beleive that in some way she is attetion seking and it does get annoying - shes not bulimic at the moment .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your mates mum is right, just don't talk to ur friend about it wbut hen they say they're fat they are mainly wanting re-assurance that they look ok, which i spose everyone does now and again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with what you are saying buglove and seashihtzu as most ppl are attention seeking when they are slim but want to be reasured but just monitor her to see if she continues to loose weight and don't moan at her for not eating just keep an eye on what she does eat- you need to reasure her that eating things such as breakfast do not cause you to gain weight as you burn off the calories during the day - it is more likely that binging at night will cause her to gain weight....even if you just get her to eat low fat food at least she would be eating something! <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keep an eye out for her, but do try and ignore her to a certain extent. Make sure she isnt losing weight or damaging her health, but try to avoid the subject.

    Attention seekers are as deserving of help as others with genuine problems, it still signifies serious self-esteem issues. Attention seeking is unhealthy, not something to hate people for.

    Sadly, for people who hate themselves a lot, there is very little they can do to help. Im talking from experience, all you can really do is be there for them...it doesnt matter how often you tell a depressed person how wonderful they are, they still refuse to believe it. Maybe scaring them into seeing a doctor wouldnt be such a bad idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    currently have a friend in hospital with severe anorexia at the mo and my best possible advice to you is just to be there and support her.
    you cant do ne thing to stop her but if she knows that you are there to support her, she'll get herself out of it.eating disorders are based on depression-it's not about loosing weight or about wanting to not eat, it's about feelings and anxiety about yourself.
    As i sed, my advice is to support her and let her know that you will always be there for her. wen u experience an eating disorder, you feel alone and you feel there's nobody who can help you so by knowing there's some1 there can mean an awful lot.
    tell her to look after herslf and be her friend. you wont be able to convince her that she's not fat even tho she clearly isnt, if you want more inforamtion, try writing to the EDA (eating disorders asscociation) they are really useful.
    hope that helps, i do know what you are going through.
    love sazx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am currently bulimic. And all i can say is that i wish i had friends whoi would support me. I don't. I think the most important thing you can do is respect her wishes. Be there for her, and tell her you are worried about her. Don't badger her about the dangers of bulimia and anorexia, she'll already know. And most likely, she does not want to be bulimic or anorexic. Tell her she isn't fat, give her compliments. She'll say you're lying, or perhaps that she doesn't believe you, but deep down she will be happy that someone gave her a compliment. Yes, maybe she is looking for attention. But you can't blame her. She is clearly in need of some help, whether it be from a trained counsellor or just a good friend. She will really need you, and will want someone to help her. Please just be there for you, and message me any time. I believe that friends of eating disorder sufferers can have it almost as bad as the sufferers themselves!! You'll need someone to talk to, but you can always talk to me; I'll do what i can.

    As you can tell, i do not encourage eating disorders in anyway, and i whole-heartedly wish that i could stop.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be Bulimic. It started about 2 1/2 years ago. I have always been slim, but one day i just became convinced that i was getting fat. I tried dieting but never stuck to anything and i just thought oh if i make myself sick after i eat then i can have whatever i want and it will be ok. From then on it was a downward spiral. What had been something which only happened say once a week was now after everything i ate. I knew it was foolish and wrong but i still thought it was for the best. No one knew, but then i finally realised i needed help and confided in an ex b.f. I know its not his fault but he wasnt much help. He seemed to think the answer to the problem was to compliment me on my figure and looks and that because of that i would feel better. Its hard to confide in ppl, i always worried what they would think of me. I told my 3best mates and they didnt belive me. I think they expected me to look like an anorexic does. which obviously isnt the case with bulimia (as u cant always tell). They thought i was doing it for attention.

    It took ages to get over it and i did it all on my own. It did come back tho. Recently. Im ok now (touch wood). Bulimia never goes totally i dont think, theres always the temptation to start again once u feel a bit fat.

    Just be there for your friend. I would have loved to have had someone there for me who understood!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Reading other's people's attitudes to bulimia has made me think a bit more. People who have had no personal experience with this terrible illness do believe that you will look anorexic. People who i have talked to often state : 'of course they'll look skinny. They're throwing up everything they eat therefore they'll lose loads of weight'. People who have had experience know this is not true. That is why it is so hard to diagnose. There is not enough information about bulimia. People are not educated. And this is not the way it should be. As was said before, people are never rid of bulimia. It will always be with the sufferer and it'll never go away. I feel that it should be made aware to students much more the facts about bulimia. I would be more than happy to go into schools stating that i have bulimia and saying how much i hate having it. How much i wish i hadn't started and how much i am trying to stop.

    anway, i better stop waffling on. But anyone who reads this thinking bulimia is a great way to lose weight ' ITS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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