If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
bit of a rant about sadness
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi.1st time user. i loved how the site presents itself.give urselves a biggup award.very well done.even use of lang isnt geek speek (ie: ppl whom stay in room @ comps not mixing with others). ANYWAY, i digress
Im sad. it hard 2 admit it. it was hard 2 tell sum1. i havnt yet. that wot this is about. im taking step1 & reaching out 4 help! i not sure wot i hope 2 achieve from this, but if no1 can help(wot is help?) then iv written for me. this advice i found on another website, about work n stuff.
Where 2 start. itz that old general hoplessness chestnut. any1 whom reaches a certain levvel of intelligence hits the enlightenment thingy, not saying we're all philosophers, but ignorance is bliss! question...then b prepared for the unstabilty of an answerless life. OH mY GOD... sorry for that pretentious stuff. sound like im up my own arse. i just envy the stupid ppl.lets start again.
I cry lots. im 20 & there4 i am threatend by this,the biggest killer of our demographic,depression. Its that statistic that has helped cum 2 terms with my feelings instaed of down grading them.
I lost the best job in the world,recently, unfairly.it really was.i was sad b4 then tho!
i dropped out of uni i think bcoz of the girlfrind thing going ORRIBLEY RONG. dont do it ppl. stay solo!!
Howeva, b4 that i was hopeless,without direction.so i dont know?
i write as the thought scum so 4give lack of structure (its bad when u wake up & just dont like music anymore. if only for a day! still, u find escapism in it & u then get fed up with it? wots the point. it wastes time)
im quite intelligent (i think im a genius so my esteem is fine,cud look better but out of my control. genes etc..) this puts 4fillment pressure on me. 1 of my brothers was like me @ this age. he now a heroine addict, i think. they dont speak of him. he darnt contact us. i saw him month ago he looked gr8.
I JUST THINK, WHY CARRY ON? WOT 4? Im not "suicidal" like other ppl. im sorry 4 u. big hug. but my ethical views mean i cant be that selfish.in my opinion!! I do think about giving my bodypart 2 others whom need them & have a purpose 4 them, unlike me.
Im withering away anyway, i hardly eat now <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
thats about my limit for "self harm". unless u can count my aspiration for a recreational drug habit. but i cant afford it yet. my escapism is 14hr sleep @ the mo.
my home life is about 2 blow up anyday now. im about 2 split up my sister & boyf <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">. im dividing ppl. im so sad. & i cant see anyway out.not even f***ing suicide. gggrrrr.
this has go on 4 ages & iv not begun in my head. but still, thx 4 ur time. hugs*(ps: im not re-readin 4 mistakes so b gentle with me)
Im sad. it hard 2 admit it. it was hard 2 tell sum1. i havnt yet. that wot this is about. im taking step1 & reaching out 4 help! i not sure wot i hope 2 achieve from this, but if no1 can help(wot is help?) then iv written for me. this advice i found on another website, about work n stuff.
Where 2 start. itz that old general hoplessness chestnut. any1 whom reaches a certain levvel of intelligence hits the enlightenment thingy, not saying we're all philosophers, but ignorance is bliss! question...then b prepared for the unstabilty of an answerless life. OH mY GOD... sorry for that pretentious stuff. sound like im up my own arse. i just envy the stupid ppl.lets start again.
I cry lots. im 20 & there4 i am threatend by this,the biggest killer of our demographic,depression. Its that statistic that has helped cum 2 terms with my feelings instaed of down grading them.
I lost the best job in the world,recently, unfairly.it really was.i was sad b4 then tho!
i dropped out of uni i think bcoz of the girlfrind thing going ORRIBLEY RONG. dont do it ppl. stay solo!!
Howeva, b4 that i was hopeless,without direction.so i dont know?
i write as the thought scum so 4give lack of structure (its bad when u wake up & just dont like music anymore. if only for a day! still, u find escapism in it & u then get fed up with it? wots the point. it wastes time)
im quite intelligent (i think im a genius so my esteem is fine,cud look better but out of my control. genes etc..) this puts 4fillment pressure on me. 1 of my brothers was like me @ this age. he now a heroine addict, i think. they dont speak of him. he darnt contact us. i saw him month ago he looked gr8.
I JUST THINK, WHY CARRY ON? WOT 4? Im not "suicidal" like other ppl. im sorry 4 u. big hug. but my ethical views mean i cant be that selfish.in my opinion!! I do think about giving my bodypart 2 others whom need them & have a purpose 4 them, unlike me.
Im withering away anyway, i hardly eat now <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
thats about my limit for "self harm". unless u can count my aspiration for a recreational drug habit. but i cant afford it yet. my escapism is 14hr sleep @ the mo.
my home life is about 2 blow up anyday now. im about 2 split up my sister & boyf <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">. im dividing ppl. im so sad. & i cant see anyway out.not even f***ing suicide. gggrrrr.
this has go on 4 ages & iv not begun in my head. but still, thx 4 ur time. hugs*(ps: im not re-readin 4 mistakes so b gentle with me)
0
Comments
Am really sorry to hear that your going through this and the fact that it has been going on for such a long time. I have been where you have and when I look back on what I was like it makes me feel sad to think that I was ever like that. I have been bullied at school, my mum and dad have divorced, I have been in a serious car crash and my brother is gay(thats not a bad thing to me I worry about him) so I have had a fair whack of being depressed. Now I couldnt care if I died tomorrow am just not scared of death, I live everyday and take in all the things that happen good or bad it makes us what we are and we learn from every experience. U have to do the same dont see the bad things in life all the time, look at your family they love you too pieces they dont like you in this state as they only want you to be happy. Losing your job must of hit you hard but there are other jobs out there you just have to find them, dont give up that is what will make you worse as you dont get anything for free in this life. You can only make your life what you want it to be, you are the only one in control of it and if you decide to give up then things will only get worse. I really wish there was a simple answer or a quick fix as I wanted the same when I was feeling the same as you but there isnt believe me I know. I had to work hard to get myself better, now I am at uni in my final year and I have just come back from the best holiday of my life in ibiza. So you can come back from the state your in and make the most of your life. I only hope some of this makes sense or that you learn from it as I hate seeing people being in the same state that I was. Take care of yourself mate and I really hope things get better for you sooner rather than later. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
i mean you arent really that specific about what is wrong, but i understand that feeling as best as i can. feeling like everything is against you? i think i understand about the intelligence thing, not only did i read that somewhere, but also myself and a few friends have experienced that at times as well.
i also cry a lot. i last cried when i failed a math test earlier (A level maths, urgh). i was gutted. little things get me down easily, guess i'm weak. i know, and you know, that depression as such is a common thing, but it is also one of the worst illnesses out there, in my opinion.
no offence, but i feel really fucked right now, and can't really see what i'm reading or writing. so i'm sorry if this made no sense at all, or wasnt helpful <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">. i'll try to add to this thread at another time when i have sort of snapped out of the mood i'm in today.
my msn is charleytheboarderbabe@hotmail.com if you would like to talk at any time. take care, xx