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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been feeling down, numb and lost constantly for a while now. Sometimes i'll have mood swings, but at other times i'll just feel numb, not feeling anything at all, not wanting to go out and see people or anything. Quite often i'll just want to sit there and cry, and quite often i do, and it helps when i do, but only for a short while. I am in my second year at uni, and i really hate it here sometimes. I had a group of really close friends in sixth form, but since i came to uni we have grown apart, and i haven't made many new friends here, my housemates treat me like i'm something they just stepped in. I'm struggling with the uni work, and finding it really difficult to catch up. I was thinking of going to see a counsellor or something but i don't know if it would help really, surely i should be able to sort it out myself, and if i can't then who can? I do feel like i need to talk to comeone but i'm not sure i could talk to anyone face to face. I tried joining societies to meet new people but everyone is already in groups and don't seem to be very friendly to new people. Does anyone have any advice for me?


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi mate

    Sorry to hear about you having a rough time. Try not to wirry about it too much. I was in a similar situation at uni where I was living in a shitty house with annoying flatmates and it really got me down - it's not nice. The answer? Move out! I was really unhappy so I just thought 'sod this, I'll find somewhere else to live and if it doesn't get better, I'm leaving'

    The good thing is that it worked and I found a great place to live and made some new friends, so do it! I'm sure you'll find somewhere better. It really helped me out!

    Also if you're depressed it is so good to talk to someone about it - even if it is just a councillor if you can't confide in any of your mates. I was having big problems whilst I was at uni coming to terms with being gay and in the end I told a few people and felt much better. I was also really depressed and ended up going to see my GP who gave me some tablets.

    You shouldn't be embarrassed about having to do something like that. Admittedly it took a lot of courage but you'll be surprised how many people take anti-depressants. It's not a bad thing, and it'll make you better

    I hope that helps mate as I know your situation and it's miserable. Move out!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx for replying. I have a new house sorted for next year, that is the only thing that is keeping me going, that come july i can get out of there. I don't belive in taking drugs to make me feel happier - but who knows, i just want to do something now, i am sick of being in this void, feeling like i am being pulled further and further into a dark pit i don't want to go into.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello there
    My best advice to you would be to go to your student counselling service (or your GP if you don't know where it is) and make an appointment for counseliing. Often it helps to talk things through with a complete stranger, who will help you work though your problems and get everything in perspective.

    Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have perfectly described the way that I felt last term. Numb. Couldn't be bothered to or work up the energy to go out and meet people. For me there was a reason, something I was avoiding dealing with--my dad died a week before I came back to start my second year.

    I went to see a counsellor, and although I was really frustrated at first and felt that it wasn't helping, I stuck with it, and I'm really glad that I did. I feel better this term. That doesn't mean that I'm always happy, but I have real emotions and I don't feel like a zombie. Talking to someone who was completely objective and impartial helped me. She could see things that I couldn't and pointed out things that I was avoiding thinking about.

    The University counselling service is there for a reason--there are a lot of people who use it, so you needn't feel ashamed if you go see a counsellor. It will give you a space to think about and try to define the things that are getting you down. You may even be able to avoid taking medications if you don't want to take them.

    Good luck.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi fearful penguin, I'm at York Uni, and have suffered from depression for a few years.

    I would never admit to myself that I had a problem until about a year ago. At that point I went to see the doctor. He gave me Prozac, which made me feel loads better.

    Whether or not you want to take antidepressants, I think you should see the doctor, they can put you in touch with an NHS counciling service, and generally talking to someone makes people feel better.

    Good Luck,

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I felt like this last term, but didn't have the energy to even go to a counsellor. I found that writing my problems down was really helpful, then I emailed my friends and some people I met online and once they realised how said I was things got better.

    I did go to my GP though, although he was quite helpful he didn't offer anything other than drugs, which was quite annoying!

    I had lots of close friends at sixth form and when I went to uni we grea apart. However, the ones which stay close to you and make the effort are true friends.

    Have you stopped to consider that they feel the same way? Maybe you all need to make more of an effort. Again, talk to them about it, if they understand and apologise then they're definatley worth having.

    In conclusion, if there is a counselling service available, don't hesitate to use it, if not then see your GP, hopefully they're more helpful than mine!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi! I know exactly how you feel..you are definitely not the only one in this situation. People can be very "cliquey" at uni. Everyone says "go to societies" but even in those most people already go with people they know, and if you feel down, you don't feel like going anyway!

    Do go to the student counseller, I went to one and found it really helpful just to talk to someone who didn't know me.

    Good luck :-)
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