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bulimic

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
ive been bulimic for 10 months now, and i'd been doing a pretty good job of hiding it from my family (a couple of my friends know) untill last night, when my brother heard me being sick.

he confronted me about it straight away, i tried to deny it which was relatively pointless. he said he was going to tell my mum, eventually i managed to persuade him not to, on the condition that i go to the doctors.

i told him id only been doing it for 2 months, cos i didnt want him to worry even more.. anyways, now im really scared about going to the doctors. what will they say or do? they cant make me tell my mum or dad can they?

im so confused, i dont need help though, i'm beginning to get myself better, slowly. though ive been trying for months to stop but always go back to it. but i dont need help. i dont know why my brother cant understand that.

another thing is my boyfriend. ive not been going out with him long, so he doesnt know about any of this, but i dont know if i should tell him, because im scared it will change stuff between us

can someone please help me if youve been in this situation before or not.. thanks
xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is why you need help, you've just said yourself that you keep going back to it. This will continue until you get some support. I've suffered this myself and had to get through it.Clara, do you want to talk about this more one on one, that way you could tell me why it started, why you think it helps etc and i can tell you anything you want to know. my e-mail is [email protected]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how u feel : i've been bulimic for over 2 years now, and it really is not good. I dont want to lecture you, coz u probably already know wot happens to you - but plz get it sorted. Ppl say that after a while, that its too hard to stop. But its not that its too hard, its just that u dont want to. You do want to stop coz u know its bad 4 u, and its really desturctive, but u cant see how u'll cope without it. Why do you think you do it? Is it a weight thing, or something else. I know i used to pretend it was a weight thing, but now i see its another reason. Although now i recognise that i am obsessed with my weight, and how i look.
    The doctor CANNOT tell ur parents - it is illegal, if u say you dont want them to know. But perhaps u may need their support. Its up to you, but going to the doctor is a good idea. He or she will help u decided wot to do, who to go to, and who to tell. You can tell them anything, and they cannot tell a soul. But my best advice is to find someone u can talk to - whether its a friend, ur brother, or anyone on here. E-mail me anytime....i can try to help you in any way i can. But you dont have to go through this alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cant really add too much to that, but you know people care about you (even if some are only on the net!)

    Please get it sorted, or at least TRY to.

    It matters not who won or lost, but how you place the blame.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im not sure in what way u want us to help really as u say u dont need it and unless u r wiling to help yourself then theres no point in anyone else trying.

    I think that if u looked deep down u would see that maybe u do need some help with this but right now that might seem like a scary thing to admit to yourself. Unfortunatly the only way out of this is to face up to it and see it for what it really is...untill then things wont get any better and infact a lot worse if u continue doing this.

    I dont wanna sound like a moany cow or like I dont understand how hard it is for u because I know exactly how u feel and what u r going through. Ive had issues with eating since I was about 12/13 and wish I could sit here and say Im fully recovered and never look back...but id b lying.

    The fact is nobody ever does gets over eating problems as such, its always there in the back of your mind and its always a struggle to keep yoiurself from falling into your old habits again which is why so many people get better and end up back where they atrted not long after...its not gonna be simple or easy unfortunatly.

    Despite that there is light at the end of the tunnel if u get the right help for yourself. U cant do it on your own and u shouldnt have to either. Please be honest with your docter when u see them and take an honest look at what u r doing to yourself.

    U cant carry on forever and do u really want to anyway? U will end up with rotting teeth from your stonache acid, blood shot eyes from burst blood vessells, constant sore throats and a whole load of other horrible problems that u dont want to get trust me.

    Im not gonna go on coz u have probably heard enough right now but dont go away after readin this and just dissmiss it like u r not interested and dont wanna no. Its easy to carry on and never allow yourself to see how it really is, its much harder to face up to it and change but its also the only way and nobody can do anything untill u make the decision to help yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all your advice on here. i know i need help, im just really scared of facing up to it, if you know what i mean?

    the logical part of my brain knows how much damage im doing to myself and i know that i need help, but i always forget all the damage that im doing, and it all starts again.. its like a never ending circle, then i say stuff like i dont need help, when deep down i know i do.

    im just really confused, because i dont know if i want to be better. its been going on every day for so long, it would be so strange if i didnt do it anymore. ugh, im so confused.

    what will the doctor do and say to me? im so scared about seeing the doctor, not because its a doctor, but it finally means im going to have to face up to what im doing, and put a stop to it, which i dont know if im ready for yet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey. i really do sympathise for you. anything like this is no easy thing for anyone to deal with, whether it be the friends, family, or even yourself. erm, i think the fact that you recognise that you have a problem, and could benefit from some medical help is a good sign for yourself.
    i know what you mean about not being sure if you want to be better or not, i have the same thing with my self mutilation etc, whereas i know its "wrong", and i should try to stop, but i like it. as weird as it is.
    as for what the doctor will do or say, my guess is that is it's a family doctor, then he/she will ask things like how long, any particular reason, how often, etc, just the basic general questions. its not half as scary you might think, i've been there a few times with similar things, and i've been absolutley shitting it, but as soon as you get in there you'll be a lot better.

    i hope some or any of that helped somewhere down the line, take care and keep in touch xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks charley. i know i shouldnt be scared, but its like confronting your fears, thanks for re-assuring me though <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    do you think i should/will have to tell them that ive been cutting infrequently for the past year too, because apparently depression and bulimia are linked?

    or would that be unnecessary?

    clara xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by clara:
    thanks charley. i know i shouldnt be scared, but its like confronting your fears, thanks for re-assuring me though <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    do you think i should/will have to tell them that ive been cutting infrequently for the past year too, because apparently depression and bulimia are linked?

    or would that be unnecessary?

    clara xx

    Yes definatly speak up about your cutting... its self-harm like bulimia is and not something u should ignore. Be as honest and as open as u can coz its the best and easiest way through this.

    It is scary and i feel for u having to go through it but u r doing the right thing and as long as u keep remembering that side of u saying how bad u r treating yourself u will get there in the end I promise.

    The hardest part u have already half done and thats realising u need to stop hurting yourself, and thats the scary part really as it makes it all real. Hope u no u can chat to us here whenever u feel the need.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, i would tell him about your cutting, as soon as i told him that (wish i'd have said sooner), he asked if i'd like counseling, which i agreed to. your doctor might offer you this as well, i'd take it if i were you, it gives you someone to talk in complete confidence to. good luck. feel free to email me anytime <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks alot everyone <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; ill keep you posted on what happens...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, well i went to the doctors on thursday. she was really nice about it, and to cut a long story short, she's put me on a month+ waiting list to see a psychotherapist.

    the wait is a bit annoying, but she said to feel free to go and see her when i feel like it..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey. well congratulations for going through with it, well done <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    i know how annoying the wait can be, but it'll soon come around and you will get the right help for yourself.

    i bet it was easier than you though huh?
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