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I'm going through a really hard time at the moment, and i don't really talk to anyone about it because it's so hard but i was wondering if any1 had any ideas on cheering oneself up!
My dad left 2 yrs ago after his 5th affair to be with another woman, this messed my mum, and little bro and sis up so bad i really didn't have any time to think about how it had affected me, cos i had to be there for them.
My dad came back (after being ditched) about a year ago... just after my mum had met someone else and had just managed to come off her anti-depressants.
Things got worse for me from then onwards. I stopped eating - not because i wanted to, but because i was physically unable to as eating used to make me feel ill. I lost 2 stone in a month and started cutting my wrists.
I feel so down sometimes and can't seem to do anything about it, anyone been in a similar position and got through it?
Any help appreciated,
Love Seaxxx

Only smarties have the answer <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/rollsmile.gif"&gt;
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont really know what to say. I just hope you stay ok. I went through a depression phase a few years back and the only thing that helped me get through it was my friends. I managed to alienate most of them but the close friends stayed there for me.

    All I can say is the corny old line that things will get better eventually.

    Please try and stay safe and take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, i get ya, my dad had an affair when i was younger and it was really messy, my mum degenerated into a fragile emotinal volcano and my little sis couldn't come to terms with what was happening, so like you i found myself trying to hold it all together, and when your absorbed in helping others you do neglect yourself. Once things started to look up, i found myself a bit lost in it all, my purpose in supporting my mum was just about done and suddenly i was left analysing it all, this is the dangerous bit, you start lookin for blame in yourself, you start to fear what it will all mean for the future and how everyone will cope, suddenly the secure family unit is no more and you feel a bit more exposed ! The fact is from what i've read is you've done really well by your family and i'm sure there really grateful even if they havn't approached the subject, now you must attempt to put it behind you and move on (not easy). You'll find comfort in your friends, talk to them and most importantly realise what you still have, some people are orphaned from a young age and that must be doubly difficult, just cherish the love you have and the cherish the life you lead, and hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong in all of this, and the best reply to your dad and his ways is to show him how a person should conduct themselves ! hope things start to look up for you

    drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least there the scenic route
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A true friend is the one who says "If you need anything, just let me know" and MEANS it.

    SeaShihtzu, you already know what I think, lets see what others have to say...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum and dad split up when i was about 13 and it totally fucked me up, on the bright side i'm more understanding, knowledgable and a better person for it so if you wanna talk i'm here.
    To cheer myself up i usually have a stiff drink a good meal and watch a nice film <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being alone is one of the worst things to do, you really need to be with friends even if you don't talk about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno if you'd call it a similar situation... it didn't invlove a parental split at all, but a lot of other things in my life caused me to be depressed to the point where I nearly lost the fight. I was very lonely, and I felt that I had nobody to talk to, so I didn't. I cut my arms, I would go insane when I was on my own, crying and screaming and stuff for no reason.
    In the end it all got too much.... I was lucky in the fact that I found one person who I could talk to. Also, without even meaning to, I told other people some of it... it helped a lot, although I was still not in a great way.
    One other thing which I found a great help, when I couldn't tell people everything (because some of it you *can't* tell) I would write it out in an email to someone, but then never send it. It helps because its a way of letting it all out, yet if ya feel you can't tell someone else, it still stays personal.

    I was in a really bad state, and nearly didn't make it through, now I'm through it, and one of the happiest suckers around. There wasn't one specific thing that changed it... it jus seemed to happen slowly.
    I know its hard to believe, cos I didn't believe it at the time, but ti does change with time... but ya need to be strong.
    Hope this has helped, and good luck <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys for everything u've all said.
    Everythings' pretty much up in the air at the moment which is probably why things got so bad for me all of a sudden. Some days im ok, but others i just don't want to eat, talk or do anything which is hard at school because if quiet everyone suddenly gets very suspicious.... and asks lots of questions which is the worst thing they could do bless em.
    I guess i'm just hoping things get better magically.... quite soon!

    Only smarties have the answer <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/jump.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi ya ~SeaShihtzu~,

    We have some information on the site that can provide you with some general advice: http://www.thesite.org/health/headstate/

    There are a number of telephone helplines where you can get confidential advice. They include:

    Careline Telephone: 020 8514 1177
    Samaritans Telephone: 08457 909090

    (Others are listed here: http://www.thesite.org/health/national_helplines.html).

    I hope that this helps. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/cool.gif"&gt;
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