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i want him but should i?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
okay, i was with my boyf for three months but not long ago (month) i cheated on him. i told him about it and he was good enough to take me back because i realised how much i needed him. since then things seemed to go down hill. one minute we couldnt be apart and then the next we were arguing.

I felt i wasnt making happy and i felt the need for some space because i had some other stuff happening in my life aswell and i was emotionally and physically shattered. i suggested a break so we could both get ourselves sorted out. at first he agreed hesitantly but then he came out with... we either have it all or nothing...if you want space lets call it quits. i was so angry he could cut our relationship up so easily like that...like it didnt matter. in my anger i told him fine...its over.

I thought i'd be okay but it seems the whole thing has effected me more than it has him. my heart feels so heavy and one minute i think i cant do without him and the next i am telling myself that the freedom is better for me. (grass is greener on the otherside...situation!!!!!)

well, last night we considered getting back together but i dont know... he has basically said that i would have to spend alot of time with him (what about my A-levels???) and i would be making most of the effort in the relationship because i wasnt before... i dont know... do i go back to him?

on the other hand, if i dont go back to him...i will eventually see him get with someone else...i cant bare that...my heart would break in two...my friends tell me he's a prat and i want to believe them but my heart cant get over it that quick...

what do i do???


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was in exactly the same situation and still kinda am only my g/f cheated on me bout 6 months ago one min we were so happy then everything changed we didnt get on as well i didnt trust her and it looked like the end i gave her another chance but even now things can get very bad but we are happy i think you should give it a go but dont lt him fuck up your school work <IMG alt="image" SRC="eek.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lets get this straight. When u were suffering with your life problems and u were physically and emotionally shattered - what did ur b/f do? he didnt want to know. Sounds like ur friends are right in calling him a prat.

    Maybe this is too judgemental though.In the end its ur choice and u hav to look honestly at yourself to decide whether u truly love him - or whether there will be other people that are better, given a little time?
    A-levels are really important so dont mess them up and also if u go to uni its far better to go single in my opinion. 1 - no long distance relationship worries 2- the urge to cheat at uni may be quite strong therefore no b/f means no problem.

    be happy though. <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats what i am battling with. if i go back to him then the pain will come back when we have to part at the end of the summer.

    i know if i go out with him my a-levels will suffer. they have this term. really bad. i need to get back on track if i'm gonna get the grades i need. i cant sacrafice another term to emotional turmoil.

    thanks peeps. i think i am going to not go back to him because...

    1. my alevels will suffer...there is no way they wont.
    2. he lives abroad so i get little 'private' <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> time with him anyway!!!!! hehe.
    3. uni will break us up too.
    4. the grass is always greener on the other side but surely there is someone out there who will want me for me and will be willing to face all the obstacles so we can be together...sigh...WHERE THE HELL IS HE!!!!!?

    thanks everyone!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    God, this sounds so similar to the situation i have been in with my boyf. every time something went wrong in one of our lives (like me not getting on with my step mum) we would break up. its taken 3 years to kind of just put up with the times when one of us feels like shit. What i'm trying to say is that relationships can't be lovedovey all the time and there will be times when youre like 'aaaargh!' at the other person, but theyre still worth being with. I also realised that my boyf. and our relationship aren't resbonsible for keeping me happy, thats my job! what i mean is that its great to have a boyf to make you feel better sometimes, but don't let your probs take over the rel, go and do sthng to make yourself feel better!
    Hope this helps. 'Chin up, love!'
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