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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well there's this girl(aint it always women troubles:rolleyes <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">I like, alot. We're good friends but I think my feelings are stronger, yet hers are not.

I don't want to ruin our friendship. She means so much to me that just to see that she is happy makes me feel great and knowing her is a privelage yet i am sad at the same time!

I know, 'get over it' but i just can't:-(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But are you gonna be happy to just sit back and be friends??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lord of Little:
    But are you gonna be happy to just sit back and be friends?

    If that's all there can be between us then yes i guess, but there's this little part of me that keeps craving more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's a bet-hedging reply if ever I've heard one!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> You want more though don't you?? But at the same time you don't want to lose what you already have?? It's an eternal dilemma for nice guys. Possibly the best thing to do is very subtley ask one of her female friends for her opinion, but be aware that such conversations will eventually filter back to your lady.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess so, thanks anyways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You poor little pudding. i have a friend who has waited for a girl he fancies for two years! meanwhile, he just accepts that its better to be friends then to not be around her at all, and this is what i think you should do. don't let your feelings of adoration get in the way of what sounds like a great friendship. You never know, one day she might realise that the answer to all her romantic dilemmas was right there in front of her all that time (ie you!) and what better basis for a relationship than long term friendship. stick in there! xxx <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou for your kind words and advice, i shall do just that and see what happens, who knows?!

    Oh and welcome to the site.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kinda agree with the last one but your gonna hurt over it no matter wat you do. I was in the same situation i attempted to tell the girl about a million times but never could until one day she told me she wanted to go with me. So i guess i got out easy. But i wouldn't sit bk to long i understand you not wantin to lose your friendship but just think wat you'll have if she feels the same. My advice is to just be friends for a while and see if anything at all happens... I always find drink brings out the truth but that doesn't mean get her drunk and try and tackle her I just mean you usually hear wat people really think of you after a few goodluck watever you decide <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another question; how would you feel if she suddenly started seeing someone else??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Happy for her, but sad that it wasn't me! <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0">

    edited to say she is, kind of

    [ 07-12-2001: Message edited by: Marmite ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well I was speaking to a soulmate(girl) yesterday and after 6 years of being 'friends' and I wanting more but not asking. She has just declared her mistake in not doing anything about her feeling (i didnt know) for me all this time! I'm in a relationship and she just got out of one (being a sucker for the bastards)
    we both have a kid each by our respective EX or partner.
    IFI were you I'd tell her cos I am really kicking myself right now!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just cos i want 100 b4 this weekend.
    see u all monday
    I have to visit a 'friend' on sat.
    man moral dialimers suck!
    quick tell me advice I'm logging off in 5 mins
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know if i'm the best person to give advice on this but I'm gonna try.

    Do you definately know that she doesn't feel the same?

    If so, then my advice would be not to say anything as I was once in this situation and I told this bloke how I felt and it totally ruined our relationship.

    But on the other hand, once I knew for sure I felt I could get on with my life.

    If not, then are you going to spend the rest of your life wondering what if you'd said something, etc etc.

    I know that probably doesn't help but sometimes you have to take risks.

    Good luck with whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Marmite, cool picture of yourself!! Tell her. Good friends need to be honest with each other. And if she isn't in to you, you will probably still be really good mates once you both stop blushing!! Whats the worst that can happen? Actually, scrap that. Just go with what you feel! Good luck. By the way, is anyone else still wide awake or am I alone in netland?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers, i'm just chicken i guess. All this emotional lovvey dovvey relationship and women stuff is too scary for me. aaaaaargh why can't it be simple?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you have to make sure you know how she feels about you before u go wading in there with proclamations of undying love. that will just frighten her off.

    you could always breach the topic subtley, like enquiring what it would be like hypothetically of course, if a good friend of hers was to ask her out. then you can gauge her reaction and take it from there. good luck

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey marmite - this is the eternal dilemma of my little life.
    I have to say that i didnt hav the guts to go up to the lady i fancies for ages - even though she was and still is my best friend.

    Still she is going out with a really great guy now and its really nice to be close to her but still able to be there if she wants to talk about her relationship etc.

    In my situation now, im glad i didnt spill the beans on how much i liked her.
    Also if u and her went out but then split up (worst case scenario of course) would u be able to be good friends still?

    Finally if she doesnt want anything more than a relationship u may make things awkward between u by confessing ur undying love - as she may feel that she then cant talk to u about her feelings for others, as u may get upset.

    hope this helps
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry one other thing

    if u pin ur hopes on going out with this girl and nothing does come of it then u may miss out on other people - who are maybe just as nice.
    Ive known people who have been so taken up in a person that doesnt like them in a relationship way, and they hav missed out on others that do.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="eek.gif" border="0">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry to hr about this Marmite! how come u didn't tell me tho hon?
    Is she anyone i know?
    xxxxs
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