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why do people always hurt me?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
im just wondering, why do people feel a need to hurt me?

when my ex finished with me, it hurt me really bad. i was devastated, cried myself to sleep for almost 2 months.

now, shes told me she slept with her new boyfriend. why did she have to tell me that? she must have known that it would hurt me?

no ive been told that, ive completely isolated myself again. ive stopped talking to people. (btw, i did this last time she hurt me too).

ive gone back into depression again.

please help

dai

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dai,

    It's cos you let them!!
    Simple!
    Take it from someone who knows!

    Get stronger, still be nice and try to stay the way to you are but don't take flak!

    Be cool, try to stay outta her way if you can, if not then just be cool and look on her as a past chapter, that is now closed!

    Now, go on catch yerself on and get going!!

    Enjoy, but don't be a slapper!!

    M
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because quite frankly mate..people, or the majority of them, are bastards.

    I've been hurt, I still am being right now, by people I love..To be honest, I'm in the frame of mind now where I just don't know what to say.

    I'm sick of the world, have been for months, I just want to stay away from people too but I don't because I'd end up toppin myself.

    Get out, have a pint, see some mates, and just think fuck it, if they hurt me, they're the ones losing out.

    You sound like a good enough guy to me.

    If you ever need a chat to someone in the similar boat then private message me for my phone number mate.

    And I'm in South Wales in case of emergencies I can come and rescue you <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> And I'm good at bringing cars full of boys to beat people up <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Phil. <IMG SRC="cool.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    P.S. Keep ya chin up
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she is a nasty person, Your a nice guy that gets walked over alot by people, i'm a nice guy but i draw the line of letting people walk over me all the time, Try and draw your own line in your mind, if someone steps over it and they want to hurt you don't include them in your life anymore

    is this Ex(Lucy??) or another girl?

    How do you know she told you this to hurt you? she may want your help

    Give us some more details please dai
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by CheeseOnToast:
    <STRONG>Because quite frankly mate..people, or the majority of them, are bastards.

    I've been hurt, I still am being right now, by people I love..To be honest, I'm in the frame of mind now where I just don't know what to say.

    I'm sick of the world, have been for months, I just want to stay away from people too but I don't because I'd end up toppin myself.

    Get out, have a pint, see some mates, and just think fuck it, if they hurt me, they're the ones losing out.

    You sound like a good enough guy to me.

    If you ever need a chat to someone in the similar boat then private message me for my phone number mate.

    And I'm in South Wales in case of emergencies I can come and rescue you <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> And I'm good at bringing cars full of boys to beat people up <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Phil. <IMG SRC="cool.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    P.S. Keep ya chin up</STRONG>

    CheeseOnToast you seem to be one of the nicest people on here, you offer help yet you seek nothing inreturn, keep up the good work

    Shame you are also getting messed about by a girl, seem the nice guys alway get messed about
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, its not lucy.

    its a girl i was in love with ages ago.

    we went out with each other for quite a while and we both (at least thats what she said) were madly in love with each other.

    then she ended it coz she missed dating other people and fancied a boy called alec in her year (10).

    i was devastated when she dumped me.

    yeh, she really wants my help. thats why she dumped me, and then lied to me about stil being in love with me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your gonna get hurt a hell of a lot more in life, more than you are now, by the people that you don't like and by the people that you love. The only way to get over it is to deal with it. I've been in the same situation as you, and I still think about it now. And yeah it hurts, but life goes on, it doesn't wait for you, so you don't really have a choice but to be the stronger person in all this. Each time someone hurts you, forgive them, because they teach you how and who to trust, how to be stronger and how to move on. When I was going through something very similar to what you are going through now, I wrote this - and it actually helped me to realise that they aren't worth the hurt you're feeling <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Has there ever been a day when all you’ve wanted to say is screw you to everything?
    All those times when you cried out for help but no one listening?
    Had enough, said you’d give up but you can’t, because inside you care.
    Why do you have to settle for second best all the time?
    Yet still smile when it hurts so badly inside.
    Everyone gets what they want – sometimes even what you want.
    You say to yourself … ‘my time will come one day’ … but it never does … does it?

    Then you’re the one being blamed for behaving like this!
    Like what? That you had enough and want something for yourself for a change.
    Screw the world, f**k them all, nice guys finish last and that’s the rule!!
    ‘Friends’ try and comfort you with philosophical views.
    Ever stopped and realised none of that is true!?!?
    ‘My day’ will never come and I realise that through this.

    One day just think to how I feel, imagine what it’s like for me.
    Don’t ignore me when I’m walking down the street.
    I’m human too, take a moment and listen to my views.
    Don’t call me selfish; don’t say that I don’t care.
    Don’t tell me I’m wrong and what you say is fair.
    LISTEN to me because one day I will be gone.

    Remember me when you’re out having fun.
    And don’t say I could have the same if I only ‘tried’
    I tried so hard more than you could imagine, life isn’t what you make it.
    Sometimes it’s just how it happens.
    One day when I fall, maybe I don’t want to pick myself back up!
    I’ve finally had enough and you know what?
    SCREW YOU!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not everyone's a bitch/bastard. Come on guys, look at all of us on this site. I think we're all great. We have to keep hoping, where would we be in life without hope?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All i can say is chin up, i went through a crap break up, couldn't understand anything, the ex was still telling me all sorts of things about us that he shouldn't be whilst at the same time getting himself a new bird. It took me a year i'd say to get him out of my head and now that he is i'd never let him back in there. Keep whats in the past there and move on to bigger and better things. <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey!

    I think I know who you're talking about, and if it is, it makes me so sad! You were coping so well with getting over her and now she has to go and do this to you!! I'm really sorry for you, but try and blank her from your mind. You can't afford to get caught up in emotion at the moment. Try and occupy your mind with revision. I know it sounds dead soppy and cheesee, but time is a great healer (and a lousy beautician).

    You are too open for your own good, and you let people into your life. They end up taking you for granted and you get hurt. You know you can always come to me with a problem. We both live kinda close to each other. I mean South Walse ain't that bigga place! <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> Well, wehere we life from each other ain't. Try not to worry about it, shes not worth the bother. She is probably only doing it because she'll get a reaction that will make her feel better. Don't give her the satisfaction, act like you don't care.

    You know I'm always here for you, just gimmie a call if you ever need a chat!

    Keep safe, love Clare
    -x-
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tust me i know my ex g/f cheated on me after 7 months of going out together, it killed me for over 4 months and i cried for at least over 2 months!!!

    then stupidly i got back with her again after 6 months and she did the sasme but this time i walked away and know she has lost over 20 friends due to it.


    the one thing you have to be is strong and just walk away ........oh and dont let them get to you.

    if you need any advice just email me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx clare,

    it is the person you're thinking about. the one who i had almost forgotten (i hadnt thought about her for nearly 2 weeks!!!).

    When do your exams finish clare?? im thinking of paying you a visit after they're over. As i remember (from planning it a while ago but being too scared 2 ask you), its about an hour train journey to you!

    my exams finish on the 25th June.


    Thanks for your advice everyone. as usual i appreciate it <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    thanx all of you,

    dai
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i got a similar problem mate

    i get treated like shit by people who dont know me and by people who do know me. i get treated like shit all the time. and yeah, it hurts me.

    my mate told me why i get so much shit from people "its coz ya too nice...ya always give people a chance and ya always there for someone when their down even if people say 'haha poof' for being a teenage male and caring so much about someone who aint gonna shag ya".

    if this is (and i think it must be) the reason we get walked over, little wonder theres so many dickheads in the world <IMG SRC="mad.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    ~dappa
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just thought I would share a few of my favourite quotes...

    'Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
    Just leave me the hell alone'

    'Needing someone is like needing a parachute...If he isn't there the first time, chances are u won't be needing him again'
    =====================
    Getting hurt is part of life, even if we dont see it at the time, it makes us stronger, we start to put walls up to try and stop ourselves from being hurt, but it doesnt really work.. People can do very hurtful things yes, and sometimes intentionally we just have to find a way to be able to say to hell with them and move on..
    We control who we let into our lives, if you find a person to be hurtful,a bastard, a bitch what ever, dont let them back in, find someone who treats you nice..
    There are still lots of good people out there too <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> ya just got to find them..
    Take care
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i havnt spoken to my ex since monday now, and im feeling really good!

    i just wish she wouldnt do this to me anymore! i hope i can now get on with the getting over her!

    as for the lucy saga, she sent me a txt yesterday (friday) morning, saying, "im sorry dav, can we still be friends? im goin away for the weekend but i'll txt u wen i get bk. luv lucy xxx"

    i hope things work out between us!

    i'll post my next update soon,

    dai
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