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you may have heard this joke, but look anyway in case you haven't, it's good!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A homeless man walks into a bar and asks for a toothpick. The barman is slightly confused, but thinks nothing of it and gives the man a toothpick, and the man walks out happily. Two hours later a different homeless person walks into the bar and asks the barman for a toothpick. Starting to get more confused now, the barman decides to give the homeless person a toothpick anyway, it's no loss to him, and the homeless person quickly leaves, again looking very happy. Some more time passes and yet another homeless person walks into the bar and asks for a toothpick. Still confused and starting to get annoyed now the barman says to the homeless person "I haven't got a clue what you want a toothpick for, but here, take one and tell all your mates not to bother asking for one again, I'm not giving anymore out." "Fair enough." Replies the homeless person, and he too walks out with a smile on his face. Just 15 minutes later another homeless person walks into the bar. Pretty annoyed the barman says before the homeless person has a chance to speak "Look, I've told your mates, no more toothpicks!", to which the homeless person replies "I don't want a toothpick, I want a straw." "Well, why do you want a straw?" Asks the barman, to which the homeless person replies "Someone's been sick outside and all the chunky bits have gone!"

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Two nuns riding a bike down the road, one says "I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other replies "That's probably because of the cobbles!"


    :lol:


    Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too!

    What's black and white and can't turn around in a lift? A nun with a javelin through her neck!

    I will not say the other one that springs to mind, as I can just see the replies saying "You're sick." flooding in if I do...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man has been having a few drinks in the pub with his mates and he walks over to the barman to make a bet. "I bet you £20," he says "That I can pee from this table all the way over to that glass on the far side of the bar, without spilling a drop.". The barman thinks for a second, and then realises this could be easy money and says "Ok, you're on." The shake on it, the guy zips down his flies, whips it out and starts peeing everywhere. All over the bar, all over the bar stools, and all over the carpet. Finding this hysterical the barman begins laughing uncontrollably but abruptly stops when he sees a big grin spread across the guys face. "What're you smiling about? You just lost the bet!", "Well," replies the man, "I just bet may mates £100 I could piss on your bar, on your bar stools and all over your floor and you'd be laughing about it!"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by chaos_insomniac
    Two nuns riding a bike down the road, one says "I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other replies "That's probably because of the cobbles!"

    :lol:
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