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I hate being gay...................

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This must be the worse period of my life, I've never felt so alone,
Any advice,

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what do your friends think about it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've only told tow of them one was fine really supportive and the other was the compleat oppersit now thats put me off telling anyone esle,
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh sorry hun!

    Why do you feel so alone? Is it because of something that your friends/family have said or because you don't feel like you can tell them?

    I imagine that it would be a very hard thing to tell people who have known you for so long but if they really care about you then they should be supportive through it all. And if you ever need to talk about stuff just post it here and we'll try to help as much as possible...

    Try to smile for me at least once today ok?
    Smiles! -Sarah
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well trust me the one that was not supportive is not a real friend at all

    you will be fine where do you live?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how u feel a lil i'm bi and i told my mum she jus ignored me and said i was confused and curious. Most of my friends were really supportive but one of my friends thinks i made a pass at her and is not speakin to me... i had to hear that from my friend so now shes tellin ppl.. i dont think i cud forgive her for that... You jus have to be open about it no matter wat ppl think bcoz most ppl will b supportive and some wont but thats life and u have to take risks. If ur tryin to look for someone its best u go to into the cities into bars u know. Be proud of who u are and dont let ppl put u down... take care

    luv ~Darkness~
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel alone cus the people i have told have taken it so badly and I don't want to tell anyone else but at the same time it's itching waying inside to say something?
    Don't worry I went out last night and didn't stop dancing untill 6am so I've smiled once this morning <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    I live in Coventry at the moment!
    Yeh what if all my friends react the same way?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well then there is something wrong with them!!!!

    go to Manchester the gay clubs are big there!!! but your not in those shoes by yourself!!! my dad is gayand i have known for 8 years now so i know how it feels
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry about it. The people you are with at the moment may not be your true friends; true friends will happily accept whoever you are and however you choose to live your life.

    It must have taken great courage to get this far; don't think that you can't get through it.

    As for wanting to talk, well, we're all here, ok?

    DJP
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya.
    Yes this is a difficult time both for you and your friends and family. Just like you had to come to terms with your sexuality, so have the people around you. You hardly ever hear of anyone coming out and breezing right through it, there is always going to be the odd set-back. You just have to hang in there and be proud that you have gone as far as to admit it. Well done! You can't change the fact that you're gay so people are going to have to like it or lump it. The people who can't accept it are the ones with the problem and don't deserve your friendship. All you need are people who are going to be supportive and stand by you.
    Keep grinning
    Love Kaz x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i work in brighton, im straight and most of the people i work with are gay so i have heard all the stories but i know what to do at the same time if you need help just ask
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to a Gay club last night (alone cus I didn't know anyone who would come with me)not for any reason other than just to be able to go to a club and be myself, the clubs I'm into are good trance clubs like Passion, Gatecrasher and God's Kitchen but there is never any gay blokes there <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    It was shit going clubbing on my own!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    80% of my friends are gay so every thursday,friday,saturday and sunday night i go to a gay club near me to be with my friends. These so called friends- what age are they living in?! Gay people should be accepted nowadays! I find that my gay friends are more funny and fun to be with than straight people and in gay clubs people are so friendly and welcome you. I've made so many friends there. Good luck,stick it out in these clubs and reeelax! Luv Ellie.Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first steps are the hardest ones to make Drifter, I know when I came out a large number of my friends were less than happy, but they came around to it as they realised it was just part of me, who I am, and Im sure your friends will come round to seeing it in the same light one day, if they dont, they're not worth having as friends

    Good Luck Mate

    Fraz
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx everybody for all your support I wish the people I knew in reality where this cool with it,
    Anyway I'm not going to let them get me down anymore cuz what I am is who I am <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I just don't want to have to go through this alone (not including you people you fantastic) which is what it looks like it going to be, <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi
    Just to say I know how you feel. I am gay too and took years accepting it myself. I can't tell my parents because they are really homophobic so I know what you mean when you say you feel alone. Take care and you are not alone

    Love
    Annii
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh i kno wat u mean 2 . all my m8s r str8 and they dnt really understand how i feel or ne thin, but they r ok really, i get paranoid dat tey dnt like me n stuff and plenty of em do avoid me since i came out(last yr).

    its really hard especially wen u are this age and ppl may not thk dat u are really gay or that its just a phase or even dat u are lieing! den I act more gay and flirt with girls and stuff, and people are really scared of u!

    theres this gal that always takes the piss out of me being a lesbian at my school, but she cant b a real m8 so dnt think it matters but it gets 2 me even still.

    things will get better at uni and collage and stuff, so im just w8n till then,,
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey there,

    just wanted to say that diver you are so brave for standing up and telling people who you are. you should in no way be afraid to be yourself.

    i hope you realise that we all support you here. give your mates a chance to re-adjust. of course they should support you, but they might take a wee while to get used to the idea. give them some time, and i am sure that if they are your real mates, then they will be there for you.

    in the mean time, if you need to talk, we are always here. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    don't hate yourself. you have my utmost respect for being true to yourself. that's one of the hardest things to do, and you have managed it. congratulations mate!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok another update I just told thisclose friend and she took it better than I expected that it has given me so much hope but still there are alot of ppl who hate me for who i am, Fuck em I'm happy that one of my friends is cool with it along as I don't lose her I'm cool,
    Diver, xXx
    Rember no matter how dark the tunnel there is always a light
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one of my mates is a lesbian.
    it was weird when she told us...we always knew her as the man magnet of the area! there isnt a male that i know of that didnt fall in love with her, and i know a few boys who DID go out with her.
    she had much the same problem as you got mate. people laughed and said ill shit about her, a few (myself included) confirmed that we are her mates and not only does friendship create a "bridge" between religion, race and social class, it also bridges the gap from straight to gay. after the unavoidable torment she went through from so-called mates and the rest of the homo-phobic posse, people decided that the new side of her wasnt new any more and moved onto something else about another person and she is now happy again. those mates of yours that take the piss outta your sexuality need to grow up...everyone is different, and to me at least that includes hobbies, skin colour and sexuality. i wouldnt expect people to turn on me for liking a different hobby, just the same as i wouldnt expect people to cane me if i was gay. try talking to them about it...if it doesnt work then (although its hard) ignore the cunts. real mates stick together, anyone else can fuck off. in the mean time, keep talking to your supportive mate and do stuff like (no offence or nothing) tell them they are valued by you to be a pukka mate and nothing more. when my lesbian mate told my little sister, my sis wasnt disgusted but she was a little uneasy about it because she thought that maybe my mate fancied her. another good thing to do is get you and your mate and go out doing fun stuff like the cinema, bowling, skating...whatever you want. this way people will see that despite popular belief; gay people are actually human and can have a laugh the same as the rest of the world. ever seen an article about gay people not having the abilty to go raving? how about the book "homosexuals cant swim"? nope, me neither mate and i read a lot. show the world you aint an alien sent down to get picked on...YOU ARE A PERSON.
    there you go...although im sorry to say i havent got any experience apart from my mate coming out, i have a pretty useful mind when i have to put it to use and i cant stand to see people hurting.
    wishin ya the very best
    ~dappa
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i only have gay male friends and one came out a few months ago they guys at school took it really hard and they all gave him a hard time about it, but most of us stuck by him. he knows who his real friends are. if people can not accept you for who you are then they aren't worth being your friends, just think you will come out of this knowing who your true friends are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't understand why some people are so homophobic(sp?). i know people have rights to their opinions but in the end it's somebody else's life not theirs so why can't they just let them get on with their lives happily.
    the world would be so much nicer if people just accepted others for who they are and didn't put them down all the time
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mate i know this is easy to say but you should not let your friends get you down. If they react badly then are they true friends? As you have not changed you have just told them more about yourself - who they like.

    I know how hard it is, i only came outof the closet 2 years ago and there are still some people who dont know i.e. grandfather as he's really homophobic. Whereas my grandmother is great she sets me up with other guys! It is harder when you have no gay friends i know as i thought i was the only person on the planet who was gay. Then i went to college and got a whole new group of friends and even though they are not gay many of them often come with me to gay venues and we have such a laugh.

    Other friends i have made that are gay, i made by going to gay venues by myself and now we get on like a house on fire and its absolutely great. It is almost like having an extended family. Did you use to watch 'Queer as folk' ? well thats the sort of friends i have.

    There have been some extremely hard challenges thrown my way though - when i told some close school friends they went mad and i have not spoken to them in two years and that hurt coz i felt like there was something hugely disgusting with me. However it took me awhile to figure out it was them who have hte problems. Another piece of advice that i'd give you is always use condoms as you just dont know. I am a big 'slut' and it is a horrible feeling when someone tells you afterwards that they have aids - i lamped him. But i know have to have monthly check ups at the Dr.'s. Third bit of advice is to enjoy yourself and not take too much offence at what people may think. They are entitled to their opinion however they are just usually so narrow minded that they find it too difficult to understand.

    As i have said i am gay and if you ever want to chat i really dont mind as i would have loved to have someone to talk to.

    Smile!! :-)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well here is an update on my "love life" just incase any of you where wondering? <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    Well went to a gay club last night with this guy didn't rancy him!! but wee had fun together and it was great being away from all my anti-gay "friends"
    So I'm not hating being gay as much as i did when I first started the post <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    Thanx for all your suport everyone it really has hepled *HUGZ* to ya all I wish there was more i could do to say thank you *MORE HUGZ*
    Diver
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey diver just to say the best place to go clubbing is in brighton coz once a Month there is a F***ing big gay clubbing called Wild Fruit run by two drag queens called avette and Grace (good mates of mine and my dads!!!) and it is great and the best time for straight people(like me!!) for the music so if you want to club go to brighton!!! All the best in the future!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well Diver. It seems like things are picking up for you at last,well,you seem more at ease with your sexuality anyway.
    I came out to my friends a couple of years ago now,and although initially there were a few embarrassed silences whenever sex was mentioned in my presence,I now find that my friends use me as a "Gay Life Encyclopedia!".
    I find that the more upfront and openly gay you are with people,the easier it is for them to accept it. If you are a bit shy and let it out in a rather "I don't like it myself" sort of way,then they tend to think of you as being in some way dirty (for want of a better word).
    If you feel like a chat at anytime about things,then please feel free to E-Mail me yeah! I don't mind in the slightest,and I enjoy making new friends ok! Also,I'm from just up the road in Leicester,so maybe at some point in the future we could meet up and hit some clubs eh?
    Take care anyway mate and take pride in who you are and...BE PROUD!! xxx. <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey hun. I am bi. That was kinda hard to come out with and I have only told my closest friends. They have all been pretty cool with it. Don't let the bad experiance put you off telling other people. He/she obviously hasn't told anyone about it so it can't be that bad. Whoever it is is worth staying friends with. Have a chat with this person and explain that you can't help how you feel. Maybe they will come round? If not don't worry about it. Don't let that ruin it for you. Coming out is hard. You are bound to have some bad experiances but it shows you who your real friends are. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> Take it as a positive learning experiance. Not a negative mistake.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hello everyone - my reputation on this thing isnt too great at the moment but this is an issue i do feel greatly about.
    my sister is gay and when she came out i found it really hard to come to terms with how everything changed cos in my case she left home and i dont see her that much any more.
    I know what you mean by the fact you feel so alone. The pressures on you too keep it locked up inside must be huge but somehow you'll find a time when you can let everything go and until then most friedns wont ever understand what it feels like.
    I have no idea how old you are but if your among the younger teens then there seems to be noone around that is of adequate intelligence to be able to cope with all the shit that floats around in peoples head.
    i think that you are so brave telling the poeple you have and even for saying it on here in some weird way. But maybe instead of openly telling the select few you have find out their responses abotu gay people and see if they would be able to appreciate what you are going through now instead of and prejudice they may have already built inside them.
    Dont hate being gay cos that never leads anywhere and you probaly know all this but sometimes you need someone to reassure you of this, your you noone should affect that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm.. I think most things have been said in this post, but I'll give you my story <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    I'm 20 and gay (well, Bi, but I lean strongly towards the guys.. hehe), I'm not really out at all though although I know for certian my mum and sister do know...

    Anyway, it's taken me maybe 3-4 years to accept myself, and I'm quite comfortable with the way I am right now. I found the best way for things to become "sorted" was to write to boards like this, use chatrooms and talk to like minded people about your problems. That *REALLY* helped for me! I've made some great friends over the internet and a possible bf (he lives half a world away in Malaysia *sigh*.. but thats another story <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">) and I've also made a couple of gay friends locally to me.

    I went to a gay bar ONCE and promptly left after 5 minutes *LOL*. Talking about it *does* help, a great deal. Plus you have the privacy of the internet to help you.

    I hope that made sence :P

    Speedwell
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You shouldn't care what other people think, be happy about yourself!
    I'm a girl and i think that all gay men are great - they are the best people to go shopping with! Are you kinda noticebly gay - if you know what i mean? In other words, are you a bit camp? I know quite a few gay men and they're all such lovely people!
    So don't be sad and lonely, cos i'm sure there are lots of people out there who will support you, just get yourself a decent female shopping partner and you'll be fine! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love gay people. They're just so cuddley.........and nice!!!!! They are excluded from my I HATE ALL MEN!!!! thingy!!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> saying that i could do with a big kiss at the second!!!
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