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Can I Get Away With It?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months. She is really special, great looking and very funny. We aren't really that commited or serious, we hang out and go to cluds, etc. We have a lot in common and get on really well, like best friends. But, we haven't had sex (she is 16). I am cool with that, we will wait until she is ready, no pressure, but I am 19 and not a virgin. She isn't very forthcoming with any sexual favours.

However, I met this other girl the other night when out with my mates. She hasn't got the personality of my g/f and seems to be a bit of a slag, but is very good looking and has made it clear that she wants it. I am flattered and unfortunatly very tempted. This harlet doesn't know about my girlfriend and is older too. I really do want to bone her.

I don't want to risk losing my girlfriend, but I am young and reckless. I don't think that my current girlfriend is ready for sex yet, so should I get some elsewhere? I don't want to hurt her but I am fed up of waiting.

It may be possible to stealthily have some fun with this other girl for (just one time) and not upset my girlfriend. Hopefully neither one will find out about the other.

I don't want this to end in tears, has anybody else tried something simular? What are my chances of success? How will I feel after, guilty as sin probably. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok sorry if i sound harsh in any way in my reply.

    there is no way that you will get away with it and if u read my post in this forum then u will find out how ur gf is likely to feel in future.
    u said u r prepared to wait until ur gf is ready before having sex,but correct me if im wrong that does not mean u go out and "bone" some1 else.

    i dont really think u should stay with her if u r feeling like this,u sound as if u would be better on ur own to sleep with who u want.

    if i were u i would get rid before sleeping with this other woman.

    also have u tried HAVING A WANK when u feel this sexually frustrated??? just a thought!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ur way out there man most girls arent as dum as they look she would find out and u would feel like roadkill if u like her as much as ur posting puts across.
    if she is as great as u make out she should b worth waiting 4 and wont be worth spioling 4 a ride on some run of the mill village bike.
    so wot if shes good looking looks arent everything in life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no

    thats my simple answer

    even if she (your current gf) doesnt find out, the guilt will ruin you. it isnt worth trying to play both games at once. one or the other: the choice is yours.


    sorry its harsh, but hey, its raining.

    Nolite te bastardes carborundorum
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a 1 nite stand may sound gr8 now, specially if she is as fit as u say. But bonin her aint gonna do u no gud. if u get far enuf wiv ur bird then think how much ur gonna get then <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">, if u want 'sexual favours' then mayb u shud giv her sum n she may repay the compliment
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its asking for trouble mate! Wither you your gf or this other girl or in the owrst circumstances all three will get hurt.

    Choice should be whther ya wan to stay with your gf. if you dont feel u are getting any where sexually, talk to her about it. see wtu her opinions on "sexual favours" are.

    Else if she isn't as important to you as you thought o wih this other girl. But make sure you finish the relationship first! And bear in mind that thsi will probably be a one off and you'll be left single - you could try with this other girl but whether it would las or not if shes as you say.

    Personality is always more important than looks if you want a relationship - go with your feelings.

    its not illegal til u get caught <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/monkbum.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keep ur dick in ur pants and wait!!!

    If u like ur girlfriend so much treat her with the respect she deserves. Why waste something that is good just because you have got the horn, if ur not happy and dont want to wait any longer then finish it. She will respect you more for being honest with her than finding out she has been cheated on.

    But its your life and your the one in the situation, so do what you want to do.

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you were a decent person you would
    end your relationship with the first person
    before sleeping with the second.
    Not sure she'd still want to though, if she knew you
    were calling her a slag.
    My boyfriend waited for more than a year before we slept with eachother and we are still together now. It's a lot nicer than a life of usless shagging around behind peoples backs!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm, I think you guys are trying to tell me something. I do really like my current girlfriend but i'm just a bit frustrated, I don't want to pressure her but I do want some action. We get on well and she is mature but is catious about the whole sex thing, I don't want to hurt her because we're like best mates. I don't like to mention that I need physical attention because she will think I'm pushing her into it. Casual sex with a girl that means nothing to me isn't worth our relationship, I really don't want to break up. She has even told me she loves me now.

    However, this other girl has got my number from somewhere and keeps calling, the fact that the sex is so easily available is just making it difficult to resist. I'm sure she only wants the sex and it's not like I get this kind of chance very often! I am tempted to just get it out of my system and have a good time. The only reason that I am entertaining the idea is because I feel there is a good chance of me getting away with it. If my mates keep quiet they will never know, everybody wins (in a way).

    I will feel so guilty, I am tring to resist but if I'm out alone and she is there I don't think I could resist. I'm not a bad person, just weak.

    [This message has been edited by Captain Kirk (edited 08-10-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kirk.

    you make me laugh, and you seem like a dead-on guy. No one will be able to tell you what to do but Purleese...don't shag this girl. I've been there, sometimes I get so horney I could scream. Especially when you're so young, it's sooooo hard. And if it's there on a plate, your brain seems to give way to your hormones every time.

    But seroiusly, I've done the dirty deed, and had it done to me. It's NEVER worth it. Even if it feels like the best sex in the world, you'll end up wishing you could turn back the clock. My present b/f and I had to spend some time apart and maaaan, I don't do well with celebacy!! And sometimes the thought crossed my mind "hell, he'll never know" but I never gave in and I'm so glad. It changes a relationship in a way that can rarely be fixed, even if they never find out.

    You sound like you know all this, but are suffering from young-lad syndrome. Could you look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are the kind of person who would shit on a person you describe as a best mate, just to get your end away? Do you really want to be that shallow? Nah. You're a good guy. just wank a lot. This girl sounds like she's worth waiting for. You have my sympathies!

    Be strong in the force <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaz:
    Kirk.

    you make me laugh

    But seroiusly, I've done the dirty deed, and had it done to me.

    *Has an impure thought* Sniggers in Beavis and Butthead-esque fashion, huh huh! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Kaz, you make me laugh too! "I've done the dirty deed, and had it done to me" how does that sound? You are my type of woman, ha! By the way, Kaz, you can call me James T.

    I know, I don't want to be a skum-bag but this damn testosterone is telling me go for it. My balls are getting pretty full to, I need a shag to stop them from bursting! You suggest wanking a lot? Why have cotton when you can have silk?

    Anyway, it seems my girlfriend is getting more into "us" anyway now, she told me she loved me. Maybe she'll allow me some access soon, then I'll show her I'm 'the Daddy'. I do REALLY like her, it's just taking a long time. She seems nervie about any real physical contact, she is a virgin too, does my furocious sexual appetite intimidate her? I haven't really mentioned it that often to her. This other girl is all over me when I'm dancing about in the local club, basically, she's made it clear I am in. She is in serious danger of getting it.

    Can I resist the temptation, women are truly evil. No girlfriend in ages and then two come along at once!

    [This message has been edited by Captain Kirk (edited 08-10-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we're an enigma, all right. It's our revenge for having to put up with periods that we have evolved the ability to torture men with apparently little effort <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; We get issued a handbook when we come of age.

    It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

    James T, she's only 16! Cut the girl a little slack. Besides, a little cotton pickin' won't kill u - that other slag certainly isn't silk, more like a second-hand hankie.

    Besides, we all know that sex in a relationship is miles better than the one-night stand shit. Start gradually and work your way along. Compliment lots. Could be a fun ride (no pun intended <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">)

    You're right, the poor girl is probably intimidated by your hotbed of sexual passion and "daddy-ness". A-hem. (*sigh* if in doubt, appeal to his ego, never fails <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">)

    There is always the possibility that the age difference is really a major stumbling block to your relationship. But really, how cliched and sad is it to be brave enough to say "I love you" in a blossoming new relationship, only to be dumped cos you won't put out, and some other slag will? Think of the message you'll be sending to this girl. The first time is a really big deal to a girl, try to put yourself in her position. Come on, James T, don't let me down!

    BTW, my gallery of dirty deeds are clearly not for open discussion on the boards, thank u very much <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dear Lord, what was I thinking? Risking throwing away a beautiful relationship with a really special girl, all for one quick session. I must be mad... your right, and I feel guilty like scum now, I really did come close the other night. I realize that what I need to do is trick my girlfriend into having sex earlier (only kidding, I'm a nice guy- honest). <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    I need to be a man and tell this other women I'm not interessted (preferably without a boner), or only go out with my girlfriend. I will try and be patient, she desevres it ("I love you", ah). Better stock up on some porn, it will probably be a while before I get some. *sighs* God, now I'm depressed. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    She has been down 'there' before but didn't seem too keen. How do I go about suggesting that she could get more involved, even if its only giving me a hand in the corn field? If you know what I mean Kaz! There is plenty of corn to pick, but I don't want to hurry her into anything she ain't ready for (it can be heavy work, lol). She had better be worth it! Is it the virgin thing? There is only 2+1/2 years between us, and I have done 'it' a few times now. I'll be gentle, I promise! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    [This message has been edited by Captain Kirk (edited 08-10-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hav 2 agree , from the wise sayins o limp bizkt - 'y cudnt i keep my pants on this time', cos thats exactly wot ull b thinkin if u get sum from this girl. think of how much more u wud get if u manage 2 go further wiv ur bird, on another point not realted 2 this, u can put in stuff bout dirty touchin in 1 o my topics(its the only way i cud contact u sos), think it wud b quite funny
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    knew u wouldn't let me down!

    I don't think its the virgin thing. I plucked my b/fs cherry and I have noooooo complaints! She probably just doesn't know what to do with it. You need to build her confidence (hence the "compliment lots" advice). I've found that ppl take sex way to seriously and it all gets so stressful. To hell with that, the best thing is too keep a sense of humour. It's messy and so much can go wrong, if you are relaxed enough to laugh about it, you should be having fun. Sex should be fun, don'tcha think?

    Good luck...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex is funny? The women I'm with usually think so! Laughing during the treatment is only going to make things go worse! (Let's not go into that any further).

    Thanks for the "good luck", I'll need it along with some will-power. How can I politely turn this temptress down when she phones me up later and starts flirting? I hope I don't run into her when I take Louise (the girlfriend) out on the town this weekend.

    Thanks for the sound advice, I nearly did something silly. I will (try and)remain faithful! God help me!

    [P.S. Kaz, I am the Daddy <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a really crazy suggestion. My boyf had a girl throw herself at him and keep texting him dirty messages so he showed them to me.

    Reason being, if he was going to cheat on me with her, he'd keep it secret, so by showing me the messages I knew that he wouldn't. & I can see other benefits as well.

    1) It negates the fear of you seeing temptress when with girlie because you let them both know about each other.
    2) If temptress starts making things hard for you again you can get girlfriend to have words (can u guess what I got to do in my boyfs situation - v fun!)
    3) If you're really lucky, girlfriend will be all "Oh, you're so sweet and caring to wait for me when you have other options... You really are the man of my dreams!" (or however she might phrase it before she rips your clothes off...)

    You can hope, can't you??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Snow White, you are a damn genius!

    The harlet phoned me last night saying she wanted to see me this weekend (giving me the come-on). I told her I really shouldn't 'cos I was kind of seeing someone else called Louise. She said that she still would like to meet up and see me, and where she would be out this weekend! Twenty minutes later I got a text from her saying she was "sooo horny", and I should call her back (which I didn't) and that she wasn't bothered about the current girlfriend issue. It seems strange that she ain't bothered about me seeing Louise, she still wants it. This girl seems like trouble, she won't take a hint. What is she up to? It is pretty wierd.

    Anyway, I will go somewhere else with the lads this week, or be with Louise. I don't want to be left with this sex kitten without supervision, esspecially when I have had a few pints! I'll show Lou the message and explain what a carring guy I am, I hope she sees that I am being honest and faithful and dosen't get upset. I don't want to be answering questions about it all night either, maybe she'll see that I am being patient and show me that there is no need to look elsewhere. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Wish me luck. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, Snow White has it sorted. Good on ya, Capt'n!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck Captain, glad I could be of assistance.

    And thank you muchly for giving me something to think about last night so I could put off doing my English essay for a while longer.

    I hope that Louise does end up being understanding, but then again I'm the most difficult & argumentative girl in the world & I bought it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont do it. You obviously really like your girlfriend so I suggest that you stick with her. The 'slut' is not worth it is she?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to keep you informed, I showed Louise the filthy text messages, she was very pissed off to begin with. She realized that I had shown her the sexy messages and not kept them secret so I deserved some trust. She asked me if I was tempted and I said that I was. Mistake; honesty sucks! Lou got all upset, took me about a week to convince her that I wanted her and would wait for her. Thats what I'm doing now... waiting. And the dirty bird hasn't rung me in a while either, nor have I seen her out. Maybe she got the picture!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey captain kirk. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    You crack me up, I love the way you thinking to yourself should I or shouldnt I. Nice one

    What the ladies have been saying is very true and I think I know the reason as into why the sex kitten wasnt bothered about you being with louise. If you went and done the rumpy pumpy with her she would feel superior in thinking that she could have you anytime and that she is irresistable. I know as my ex does it to me all the time whenever I meet a new lady friend in my life. She lays herself on a plate and everytime I fall for it and then either she or I finish the relationship a week later. (But I am a changed man now, and had enough one nightstands to say that I have experienced it all)

    I salute you, in not doing the dirty as you have shown her and yourself that you have a strong mind and that you really care about your girlfriend, even if she thinks differently for just now. Give it time and am sure you will have a beautiful relationship. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    Change the F with the w and you have got me in one :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done. It sucks that you had to convince her that you really honestly want her, but if you really want this whole relationship then it's worth the wait, now isn't it.

    And now that you have got her trust, whatever you do don't go off and sleep with a tiny evil person a week later then dump her because you "can't face seeing her anymore knowing what you've done" when she's just bought very expensive airplane tickets to visit you from Canada. Not that I'm feeling unbelieveably bitter and twisted about my current relationship status at the moment or anything...

    Semper ubi sub ubi
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.freakygamers.com/smilies/s/kao/otn/pangel3.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done. It sucks that you had to convince her that you really honestly want her, but if you really want this whole relationship then it's worth the wait, now isn't it.

    And now that you have got her trust, whatever you do don't go off and sleep with a tiny evil person a week later then dump her because you "can't face seeing her anymore knowing what you've done" when she's just bought very expensive airplane tickets to visit you from Canada. Not that I'm feeling unbelieveably bitter and twisted about my current relationship status at the moment or anything...

    Semper ubi sub ubi
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.freakygamers.com/smilies/s/kao/otn/pangel3.gif"&gt;
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