Home General Chat
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so this is a thread for the best and worst hair colour jokes.

No one is to take offence, they are only jokes and the stereotypes the jokes give mean nothing.

Heres one I said earlier :p

a doctor walks into a hospital room after delivering a baby, and says to the parents "I have some good news... And some bad. The bad news is; your baby is ginger :(. The good news is.... ITS DEAD"

And the best one ive heard is...

Why do blonde girls have brusie's round their belly buttons?
'Cos blonde guys arnt that smart either:D


Your turn!:hyper:
«1

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry
    Why do blonde girls have brusie's round their belly buttons?
    'Cos blonde guys arnt that smart either:D

    I don't get it...*feels dumb*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh Jeebus give me strength.

    Blonde = st00pid.

    a lil hint for ya :razz:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry
    a doctor walks into a hospital room after delivering a baby, and says to the parents "I have some good news... And some bad. The bad news is; your baby is ginger :(. The good news is.... ITS DEAD" :

    I don't think that's very funny tbh :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?



















































































    pregnant :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes
    Originally posted by SupaStar
    I don't think that's very funny tbh :(

    I knew someone had to go and be morbid and ruin the fun. Jeebus Cheese almighty -_-
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry
    No one is to take offence, they are only jokes and the stereotypes the jokes give mean nothing.

    this goes to show some people dont read everything :rolleyes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont know any :confused:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Hair Colour Orrientated Jokes
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry


    No one is to take offence, they are only jokes and the stereotypes the jokes give mean nothing.

    this goes to show some people dont read everything :rolleyes:

    oh ffs. I never said anything about the stereotypes. I just don't find a joke about a dead baby all that hilarious.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    blonde joke...
    three women are about to be executed.one's a brunette,one's a redhead,and one's a blonde.
    the guard brings the brunette forward,and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. she says no,and the executioner shouts,"Ready,Aim!"
    suddenly the brunette yells,"Earthquake!"
    everyone is startled and looks around.in all the confusion ,the brunette escapes.
    the guardbrings the redhead forward,and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.she says no,and the executioner shouts,"Ready!Aim!"
    suddenly the redhead yells,"Tornado!"
    everyone is startled and looks around,and the redhead escapes.
    by now the blonde has it all figured out.the guard brings her forward,and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.she says no, and the executioner shouts,"Ready!Aim!"















    and the blonde yells,"fire!"
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *ash*n*nick*
    blonde joke...

    :lol:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jazza Bing
    :lol:

    i have a whole book on jokes,name a topic and i probably have it in there somewhere
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
    "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...
    because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
    Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jazza Bing
    "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"

    that is funny:lol:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came upon a set of tracks.
    "Looks like deer tracks", said one blonde.
    "No, it looks like maybe a cow track," another blonde suggested.
    "Actually, I think they are just dog tracks," the third blonde offered.
    They were still arguing ten minutes later when the train hit them!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There should be a forum for jokes only, that way all the people who enjoy reading them can share their best.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    There should be a forum for jokes only, that way all the people who enjoy reading them can share their best.

    Give us some then :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Saddam Hussien's facing the death penalty.

    He's alright though, 'cause Beckhams taking it :thumb:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how do you know when a blond has used a computer???
    Tippex on the screen :lol:


    How do you know when a blondd has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
    Smartie shells on the floor :thumb:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Doofay
    Give us some then :p

    I would, but I've always lived by the code that anyone who tells jokes on Internet forums should have their gullet lacerated with a blunt and rusty scythe and then have it filled with shit of a special beetle found only on the tip of Patagonia. Quite a good plan I think.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    I would, but I've always lived by the code that anyone who tells jokes on Internet forums should have their gullet lacerated with a blunt and rusty scythe and then have it filled with shit of a special beetle found only on the tip of Patagonia. Quite a good plan I think.

    Didn't you just suggest having a jokes forum? ;\
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    I would, but I've always lived by the code that anyone who tells jokes on Internet forums should have their gullet lacerated with a blunt and rusty scythe and then have it filled with shit of a special beetle found only on the tip of Patagonia. Quite a good plan I think.

    You just dont know any do ya? :impissed:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry
    You just dont know any do ya? :impissed:

    Well, if it's any consolation I knew all of the ones which have been mentioned so far (the ones that I bothered to read anyway).
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    A redhead, a brunette and a blonde find an old wizard and they ask him how they can get rich. The wizard shows them a magic mirror saying "Anyone who stands in front of this mirror and tells the truth will get rich. But if you lie, you'll disappear." So the redhead goes first, stands in front of the mirror and says "I'm the best looking woman in the world." Suddenly there's a blinding flash and the redhead disappears.
    The brunette says to the blonde, "The fool! She should have said something that's surely true! Watch this." She stands in front of the mirror and says "I think I'm the best looking woman in the world." Suddenly there's a blinding flash and a huge pile of money appears in front of the brunette. She takes the money and leaves.
    The blonde says, "I'll do the same trick." So she stands in front of the mirror and says "I think..." Suddenly there's a blinding flash and the blonde disappears.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How dya fit 4 Blondes on a barstool?







    Turn it upside down :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate blonde jokes. They're as bad as insulting the Irish, and I like the Irish. :(

    Tbh, the stereotyping of them is just as offensive as racist jokes. :|

    But some of them are funny, but I still <3 my blonde tresses. :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by 1983
    I hate blonde jokes. They're as bad as insulting the Irish, and I like the Irish. :(

    Tbh, the stereotyping of them is just as offensive as racist jokes. :|

    This is why I put that disclaimer thingy at the start of the thread
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Natural blondes are a dying breed, its a recessive gene, like blue eyes.

    Thats not very funny, but its true.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    Natural blondes are a dying breed, its a recessive gene, like blue eyes.

    Thats not very funny, but its true.

    Ah well, there are always ginger people to take the piss out of :p
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    Natural blondes are a dying breed, its a recessive gene, like blue eyes.

    Thats not very funny, but its true.
    I've heard that before, but if it's true then how come we have so many blond people today? Is that only from families where both parents were blond? I don't think so...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LeeTonberry
    This is why I put that disclaimer thingy at the start of the thread

    I know! I'm not disputing that; just saying was all. :)
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    Natural blondes are a dying breed, its a recessive gene, like blue eyes.

    I know! I hate these bottled/streaked blondes. It's so effin' fake. I AM blonde, and was platinum when I was wee..time's made it ruddy well dirty blonde now. :(

    Only people who are from Germany/Iceland/Scandanavia etc have that platinum blonde look and withstand it to adulthood without any chemical imbalance. I'm jealous. :(
Sign In or Register to comment.