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Still hurting after 6 months

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay in Septeber I went away to college 4 hours away from where I live. I was leaving behind my bf of 2.5 years. I decided to live in residence because I wanted to experince it so he didin't come with me but I would of loved him too. We were inseperable we did everything together. I came home practically every weekend and when I did it was great cause I had missed him so much during the week. Before I left he had started a new job and met this really cool girl he said that reminded him alot of me she had a boyfriend and we hung out with them once a weekend that I came home she seemed nice but I could tell she wasn't interested in her boyfriend they had only been dating 3 months. He told me how he would always talk about me and how he missed me to her and she would tell him to shut up cause she was sick of hearing about it. On Thanksgiving weekend we had a long talk he was talking alot about marriage to me and well I nicely told him that maybe we should just take it easy for a while. Anyways all I meant was that I wanted to get things figured out 100% before I decided anything I was unsure of. We didn't take a break apart because I decided I just couldn't do it he meant to much to me. When I explained all this to him he understood and agreed with me. So we stayed together and the second week of November he says to me that things aren't working out and he didn't want to date me anymore. Now I agreed with him because this was the break I wanted so I thought okay we can break up I can figure things out and we will go from there. So the next weekend I came home I told him I didn't want to break up that I knew he was the one for me and that I don't know what I would do with out him. He told me that it was too late and that him and this girl he met at work were seeing each other. I was so hurt I couln't belive this when he said things weren't working out he didn't really say why we just left it at that and I didn't think anything of it. I faught with him and told him that this new girl couldn't compare with what we had in the last 2.5 years in just on week. Being so far away didn't help and I couldn't deal with it I wrote him letter after letter explaining to him how I felt about him. I called him but he was never home. Now we get together or talk every so often once when we were together he said we should date again and I agreed but then he said he was happy. This fucking sucks I know he still has feelings for me and I want him back so bad to me this girl is a bitch and a flirt I will never like her she took away the one thing that I really ever loved and who loved me back. I still all I ever do is thing of him and the things we used to do together, I lay in bed at night and wish he was there with me, just to be with him one more time I would give anything. We did not have a sexual relationship and he totally understood and said he would wait until I was ready. The thing I don't understand is that he is having sex with this girl he is dating now and somtimes I wonder if that is why were not together and don't understand why if that was the problem why he didn't tell me. Anyways I don't know what to think cause every time I think about how he said we should be together it makes me want to hold on longer its not fair that he is happy and I am miserable.

Opinions please <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bluegirl:
    <STRONG>Okay in Septeber I went away to college 4 hours away from where I live. I was leaving behind my bf of 2.5 years. I decided to live in residence because I wanted to experince it so he didin't come with me but I would of loved him too. We were inseperable we did everything together. I came home practically every weekend and when I did it was great cause I had missed him so much during the week. Before I left he had started a new job and met this really cool girl he said that reminded him alot of me she had a boyfriend and we hung out with them once a weekend that I came home she seemed nice but I could tell she wasn't interested in her boyfriend they had only been dating 3 months. He told me how he would always talk about me and how he missed me to her and she would tell him to shut up cause she was sick of hearing about it. On Thanksgiving weekend we had a long talk he was talking alot about marriage to me and well I nicely told him that maybe we should just take it easy for a while. Anyways all I meant was that I wanted to get things figured out 100% before I decided anything I was unsure of. We didn't take a break apart because I decided I just couldn't do it he meant to much to me. When I explained all this to him he understood and agreed with me. So we stayed together and the second week of November he says to me that things aren't working out and he didn't want to date me anymore. Now I agreed with him because this was the break I wanted so I thought okay we can break up I can figure things out and we will go from there. So the next weekend I came home I told him I didn't want to break up that I knew he was the one for me and that I don't know what I would do with out him. He told me that it was too late and that him and this girl he met at work were seeing each other. I was so hurt I couln't belive this when he said things weren't working out he didn't really say why we just left it at that and I didn't think anything of it. I faught with him and told him that this new girl couldn't compare with what we had in the last 2.5 years in just on week. Being so far away didn't help and I couldn't deal with it I wrote him letter after letter explaining to him how I felt about him. I called him but he was never home. Now we get together or talk every so often once when we were together he said we should date again and I agreed but then he said he was happy. This fucking sucks I know he still has feelings for me and I want him back so bad to me this girl is a bitch and a flirt I will never like her she took away the one thing that I really ever loved and who loved me back. I still all I ever do is thing of him and the things we used to do together, I lay in bed at night and wish he was there with me, just to be with him one more time I would give anything. We did not have a sexual relationship and he totally understood and said he would wait until I was ready. The thing I don't understand is that he is having sex with this girl he is dating now and somtimes I wonder if that is why were not together and don't understand why if that was the problem why he didn't tell me. Anyways I don't know what to think cause every time I think about how he said we should be together it makes me want to hold on longer its not fair that he is happy and I am miserable.

    Opinions please <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"></STRONG>

    I am in the same boat, and feel like shit. But you have to believe like I do that if it was meant to be , you will be together, and if not, then you are better off without him. Find someone who will respect you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    God that sooo sucks i cudnt stop thinkin bout ur story today... its happened to me... in a different sorta way....
    he's sleepin with her coz he can but jus think shes easy coz she is... its all shes wanted him... to sleep with him and take pleasure in ur pain... dont let her have that..he's still urs at the takin...Q is ..do u still want him.. do u honestly think he'll b faithful now that has happened... i dont hink i'd trust him.. i know how much it hurts... if u dont want him jus stay away from him slowly he'll drift away out of ur life...not completly but so it doesnt hert as much..
    take care hun *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you say this girl is a bitch and a flirt, but do you really know her? and after all isn't he just as bad as her? He was the one that had the commitment to you, not her.
    The one thing i've learnt is that you can't make people be with you if they just don't want to be. Let him go, move on and live your life, you'll feel better in the long run.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi, look you do get over them believe me, i know how painfull it is, i was my ex for 2 years and he was my first everything if you know wht i mean and we broke up last year, it took me about 8 months to get over the fact that we'll ever be together again, but i did it. It takes time you just have move on and if it was meant to be then it'll happen, socialise, it's the easiest way. now me and my ex are mates.
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