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Confused to the core!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guyz, this is probably going to be a bit long-winded...bear with me tho, I could really do with some advice. Thanks.
When I first got with my bf 6 months ago everything was sooo wonderful. He'd always txt me, call etc. Lately there's jack of that! I understand that the "excitement" of it has probably worn away but it feels like we're not even going out anymore. It just feels like before we were going out - we just get together when we're both out at bars/club whatever, and then he comes home with me. We talk yes, but I can only get his feelings out when he's drunk, and that doesn't last long anyway...'cuz well 2 people in bed drunk...you know. Maybe once or twice we went out for a meal and talked (sober!) and it was sooo nice, but I feel like that's not what he wants. I'm not saying that he's only with me to get into to bed with me (seeing as we haven't done it yet in 6 months 'cuz am still a virgin and he's really respectful of that) but it doesn't seem like where getting anywhere.
What I'm wondering, well i know I sould talk to him, but he's not the type if you know what I mean. I don't know what he's feeling tho! :mad: I dunno whether he likes me anymore or as much as before or whther he even realises there's anything wrong! He's so oblivious to everything! :mad: At the moment is fallen out with his mate over me 'cuz we were play fighting and he's a bit over-protective and he hates it when other guyz look at me. Does that mean something or is it just related to his ego?
I'm afraid that if i start asking questions he'll say yeah actually maybe we should brake up, that's why I think it's safest not to stir the boat. I've always been more needy than him, but I need a bit more than he's giving. But it's not right to change him either. And I still really like him, cept its always me that has to make the iniciative to meet up and txt him and stuff.
What do I do? Talk to him. I wouldn't even know where to start, I don't want him to think am a loser, obsessed and like am pressurizing him. Maybe I should leave things the way they are?
Any thoughts, opinions and advice lol are soooo welcome.
Thank you.
When I first got with my bf 6 months ago everything was sooo wonderful. He'd always txt me, call etc. Lately there's jack of that! I understand that the "excitement" of it has probably worn away but it feels like we're not even going out anymore. It just feels like before we were going out - we just get together when we're both out at bars/club whatever, and then he comes home with me. We talk yes, but I can only get his feelings out when he's drunk, and that doesn't last long anyway...'cuz well 2 people in bed drunk...you know. Maybe once or twice we went out for a meal and talked (sober!) and it was sooo nice, but I feel like that's not what he wants. I'm not saying that he's only with me to get into to bed with me (seeing as we haven't done it yet in 6 months 'cuz am still a virgin and he's really respectful of that) but it doesn't seem like where getting anywhere.
What I'm wondering, well i know I sould talk to him, but he's not the type if you know what I mean. I don't know what he's feeling tho! :mad: I dunno whether he likes me anymore or as much as before or whther he even realises there's anything wrong! He's so oblivious to everything! :mad: At the moment is fallen out with his mate over me 'cuz we were play fighting and he's a bit over-protective and he hates it when other guyz look at me. Does that mean something or is it just related to his ego?
I'm afraid that if i start asking questions he'll say yeah actually maybe we should brake up, that's why I think it's safest not to stir the boat. I've always been more needy than him, but I need a bit more than he's giving. But it's not right to change him either. And I still really like him, cept its always me that has to make the iniciative to meet up and txt him and stuff.
What do I do? Talk to him. I wouldn't even know where to start, I don't want him to think am a loser, obsessed and like am pressurizing him. Maybe I should leave things the way they are?
Any thoughts, opinions and advice lol are soooo welcome.
Thank you.
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Comments
was it on msn/txt? maybe if you'd of said it in person you would've got a straight answer.
Thanks.
Hope it works out.
That's a bad trap to get into. If you're genuinely worried then you need to get it out into the open. Women have a tendency to do this - we think it's better not to rock the boat in case we hear something we don't want to, but if you don't say anything it'll just eat away at you and you'll be unhappy anyway, whereas if you asked the questions you wanted to ask then yes, maybe you'd get told something you didn't want to know, but maybe you'd get everything sorted out and be much happier. Either way, if there's something wrong with the relationship then it's better that you find out now, right? And if there's nothing wrong then you can have your mind put at rest. You've been together six months - I'm sure you can find the guts to take the risk.
And really, don't do it via text - for one thing it's agony waiting for a reply when you could get an instant answer over the phone, and for another, what are you going to do if he replies with the sort of answer you're dreading? You can't exactly talk it through by sending texts back and forth.
Whatever. I knew something was wrong. For the past weeks he was distant and stuff never bothering to meet up with me. I just wish we could go back to how it was at the beginng. He used to call me a star and see how I was everyday, send me messages saying he missed me when we were talking on the phone at the same time. He said I was beautiful and tasted of strawberries. It was different before this so I know we lost whatever we had and doubt we'll get it back.
It hurts though. I took the photo of me and him off my wall and when I look at the empty space now it just makes me wanna cry. I'm gonna miss him so much
hehe, but seriously, thank you