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Preferential treatment
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Preferential treatment
Well I don’t really know where to start but it’s a basic story. I’ve always known its there and just put up with it but my brother seems to get preferential from my mum. He is never around any more. Doesn’t do his chores or jobs but he is still getting his £15 a week pocket money and a little extra for when he goes out, I’m inside more so my mother always tells me to do the jobs as he isn’t around.
I’ve confronted my mum about it she says it isn’t true, there is no difference and we are both treated fairly. My sister has noticed it and she said she can tell there’s a difference but I should put up with it and bare the burden, I would but It’s getting to the stage to where it’s unbearable.
Help please..
Well I don’t really know where to start but it’s a basic story. I’ve always known its there and just put up with it but my brother seems to get preferential from my mum. He is never around any more. Doesn’t do his chores or jobs but he is still getting his £15 a week pocket money and a little extra for when he goes out, I’m inside more so my mother always tells me to do the jobs as he isn’t around.
I’ve confronted my mum about it she says it isn’t true, there is no difference and we are both treated fairly. My sister has noticed it and she said she can tell there’s a difference but I should put up with it and bare the burden, I would but It’s getting to the stage to where it’s unbearable.
Help please..
0
Comments
See now my brother likes it and my mums excuse is he's never hear to do it.
Try talking to your Mum and tell her you don't think it's fair that you end up doing his chores. Also, why not go out a bit more so you don't have to do them?
I will try and talk to her again
my brother has always had more than me. in little, stupid ways, but it all got to me. like when we moved to the new house. at the old house i'd had the smallest room imaginable. like REALLY fucking tiny. so my mum promised i could have the biggest bedroom. little things, you know, but i was only 6 and these things mattered then. and i was all smug and happy for a while. then, a couple of year later, they knocked out the wall to his bedroom and the bathroom, so that not only did he have a much bigger room than me, it was now also an ensuite. as if this wasn't bad enough (please remember i'm still only about 8 now) it also meant there was no longer an upstairs bathroom i could use, and i had to go all the way downstairs in the middle of the night to go to the loo. little things, i know, but they do matter wheh you're that age.
now you're probably thinking i'm getting all bitter and twisted about this. and you may have been right. until i had a chat to my mum a while ago, and she told me the reason he always got more was because he was so boisterous, and angry, and she was scared of what he would do if they didn't give him the things he wanted. i was always quieter, and sulky, and never pushed them to give me things once they'd said no. maybe not the greatest of parenting, but no one's perfect, and i certainly don't blame her for it.
and me, now that i've stopped being so petty and childish about it, have realised that they've done me a favour. i might not have had all the extravagancies he had, but i still certainly never went short, and i always appreciate it when i get things now. i think it's made me a better person. so yeah. sermon over.
However, he doesn't have half the freedom I had when I was his age! I'd been abroad on my own when I was 17 but my parents won't even let him to the local shopping centre without a curfew!
Perhaps in some way your mother trusts you more and sees you as more mature because she thinks you are capable of helping around the home?
It seems that she doesn't think I'm mature, she can't... we argue all the time.. and disagree.. I feel she's punishing me for something I've not done...
Well prove to her that you are mature then. (=
I do try.. I've had to grow up quickly, because my mum was in hospital alot I had to be good.. grow up and learn to help and look after myself.. I've never had my kiddy years.. you know.. age of 7-11 playing football for a team.. going to the park... being a kid.. I never had much of that... I suppose I miss it but I do prefer being a grown up..
I know I'm mature.. My mum went into hospital for a week and I had the house on my own (brother went away) and I cleaned the house.. the animals and fed them.. I kept it up right and I was pretty proud.. she didn't even comment..
Thank you all for your advice.. and i'll try..