Preferential treatment

Former Member

Preferential treatment


Well I don’t really know where to start but it’s a basic story. I’ve always known its there and just put up with it but my brother seems to get preferential from my mum. He is never around any more. Doesn’t do his chores or jobs but he is still getting his £15 a week pocket money and a little extra for when he goes out, I’m inside more so my mother always tells me to do the jobs as he isn’t around.

I’ve confronted my mum about it she says it isn’t true, there is no difference and we are both treated fairly. My sister has noticed it and she said she can tell there’s a difference but I should put up with it and bare the burden, I would but It’s getting to the stage to where it’s unbearable.

Help please..

Former Member

have a talk with your brother, if he doesnt bother his arse doing anything then tell your ma i she still doesnt do anything about it then dont do the chores. leave it for your bro, if your mum gives off stink, ask her when was the last time your bro did anything around the house. i would never do any of my brothers work if i was in your boots but im naturally lazy myself

Former Member

Originally posted by David Grohl
have a talk with your brother, if he doesnt bother his arse doing anything then tell your ma i she still doesnt do anything about it then dont do the chores. leave it for your bro, if your mum gives off stink, ask her when was the last time your bro did anything around the house. i would never do any of my brothers work if i was in your boots but im naturally lazy myself

See now my brother likes it and my mums excuse is he's never hear to do it.

Former Member

I used to think my sisters were treated better than me, and that my family preferred them to me. I also thought they got off lighter than me. Now I'm older and am out of that stage where I thought I hated everyone and everyone hated me, I realise that I was being silly and that really it was because me and my mum didn't get on very well at all and I used to answer back and so that's why she'd always be snapping at me.

Try talking to your Mum and tell her you don't think it's fair that you end up doing his chores. Also, why not go out a bit more so you don't have to do them?

Former Member

I go out as much as I can but I don't always stay out at night unlike my bro - he's round his gfs

I will try and talk to her again

Former Member

i think everyone either experiences this, or thinks they experience this at some point in their life. it all works itself out in the end though.

my brother has always had more than me. in little, stupid ways, but it all got to me. like when we moved to the new house. at the old house i'd had the smallest room imaginable. like REALLY fucking tiny. so my mum promised i could have the biggest bedroom. little things, you know, but i was only 6 and these things mattered then. and i was all smug and happy for a while. then, a couple of year later, they knocked out the wall to his bedroom and the bathroom, so that not only did he have a much bigger room than me, it was now also an ensuite. as if this wasn't bad enough (please remember i'm still only about 8 now) it also meant there was no longer an upstairs bathroom i could use, and i had to go all the way downstairs in the middle of the night to go to the loo. little things, i know, but they do matter wheh you're that age.

now you're probably thinking i'm getting all bitter and twisted about this. and you may have been right. until i had a chat to my mum a while ago, and she told me the reason he always got more was because he was so boisterous, and angry, and she was scared of what he would do if they didn't give him the things he wanted. i was always quieter, and sulky, and never pushed them to give me things once they'd said no. maybe not the greatest of parenting, but no one's perfect, and i certainly don't blame her for it.

and me, now that i've stopped being so petty and childish about it, have realised that they've done me a favour. i might not have had all the extravagancies he had, but i still certainly never went short, and i always appreciate it when i get things now. i think it's made me a better person. so yeah. sermon over.

Former Member

As someone pointed out, everyone feels like this from time to time. My brother is a little sod. He is always in trouble at school and he does stupid things and takes drugs etc. He's 17. They treat him like an angel sometimes, he gets new trainers and new clothes all the time, many of which he just sells.

However, he doesn't have half the freedom I had when I was his age! I'd been abroad on my own when I was 17 but my parents won't even let him to the local shopping centre without a curfew!

Perhaps in some way your mother trusts you more and sees you as more mature because she thinks you are capable of helping around the home?

Former Member

Thank you everyone

It seems that she doesn't think I'm mature, she can't... we argue all the time.. and disagree.. I feel she's punishing me for something I've not done...

Former Member

Originally posted by Hellfire
Thank you everyone

It seems that she doesn't think I'm mature, she can't... we argue all the time.. and disagree.. I feel she's punishing me for something I've not done...

Well prove to her that you are mature then. (=

Former Member

Originally posted by lucifer devil
Well prove to her that you are mature then. (=

I do try.. I've had to grow up quickly, because my mum was in hospital alot I had to be good.. grow up and learn to help and look after myself.. I've never had my kiddy years.. you know.. age of 7-11 playing football for a team.. going to the park... being a kid.. I never had much of that... I suppose I miss it but I do prefer being a grown up..

I know I'm mature.. My mum went into hospital for a week and I had the house on my own (brother went away) and I cleaned the house.. the animals and fed them.. I kept it up right and I was pretty proud.. she didn't even comment..

Thank you all for your advice.. and i'll try..

Former Member

I have spent many many hours trying to convince myself that my parents don't prefer my brother. I'm come to the conclusion that its just they treat us differently (I'm aware its hardly rocket science, but it's taken a while ). Try not to get down about it, and yeh talk to your mum. xxx