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help with a friend... ex friend? :(
Girl-From-Mars
Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
okay guys, i could really do with some help here... (this has gotta be the first time in months, and i HAVE technically left... but still.)
i did a very stupid and mean thing to a friend. i found her password out by a combination of guessing and hints being given from someone else who had found it (doesnt matter who or how particularly, but they werent intending anything malicious with it.)
i am incredibly nosy at times and im afraid i couldnt resist seeing whether the password she used for one thing was the one she used for others, like her email. so i logged into her hotmail account, and i read a few emails. i felt bad the whole time, heart thumping, face flushed, feeling like i was going to get found out the whole time.
i clearly know i shouldnt have done this, and i felt so guilty about it, and even tried to get the other friend to get her to change her password in some way that didnt get her suspicious, so i couldnt be tempted to read her mail. anyway i resisted the urge to do it again, and she said she'd changed her password sometime later of her own accord anyway.
i felt relieved. this was several weeks ago now... but someone who i considered to be a very close friend has turned against me and stuff recently, and he thought it'd be fun to tell the world about it. so of course, she read it, was immensely hurt, hates me. and now other people are passing judgement too, some who dont even know me.
ive apologised about as much as its possible to, in all forms, talking on msn, email, in livejournal comments... im at a loss of what i can do. i couldnt possibly be any more sorry. i understand that she probably wont be able to trust me again for a long time, maybe ever. i just wish there was something i could do to make her see that i didnt mean to hurt her, and that i really hate that i could do this to anyone, especially someone who was a friend. you will probably say for me to tell her all this, well i have. *is still hated* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
if any of you know who im talking about, please dont say anything (unless the person directly involved wants to say who they are)... i imagine a few of you will know who im talking about.
anyway, anything that you can possibly think of to help, id be very grateful.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
i did a very stupid and mean thing to a friend. i found her password out by a combination of guessing and hints being given from someone else who had found it (doesnt matter who or how particularly, but they werent intending anything malicious with it.)
i am incredibly nosy at times and im afraid i couldnt resist seeing whether the password she used for one thing was the one she used for others, like her email. so i logged into her hotmail account, and i read a few emails. i felt bad the whole time, heart thumping, face flushed, feeling like i was going to get found out the whole time.
i clearly know i shouldnt have done this, and i felt so guilty about it, and even tried to get the other friend to get her to change her password in some way that didnt get her suspicious, so i couldnt be tempted to read her mail. anyway i resisted the urge to do it again, and she said she'd changed her password sometime later of her own accord anyway.
i felt relieved. this was several weeks ago now... but someone who i considered to be a very close friend has turned against me and stuff recently, and he thought it'd be fun to tell the world about it. so of course, she read it, was immensely hurt, hates me. and now other people are passing judgement too, some who dont even know me.
ive apologised about as much as its possible to, in all forms, talking on msn, email, in livejournal comments... im at a loss of what i can do. i couldnt possibly be any more sorry. i understand that she probably wont be able to trust me again for a long time, maybe ever. i just wish there was something i could do to make her see that i didnt mean to hurt her, and that i really hate that i could do this to anyone, especially someone who was a friend. you will probably say for me to tell her all this, well i have. *is still hated* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
if any of you know who im talking about, please dont say anything (unless the person directly involved wants to say who they are)... i imagine a few of you will know who im talking about.
anyway, anything that you can possibly think of to help, id be very grateful.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
0
Comments
Wanna grow, grow up to be, be a debaser!
she's someone i know through the internet mainly, but we've met.
apart from not to act on urges of nosiness, ive learnt not to trust a hellofalot of people. people who i thought were my best friends. very sad.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
i wish people would turn on me instead. i hate it when the wrong people get the blame <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
TheSite.org unofficial chat room!
aforementioned friend is the_Paranoid_bunny. hope that answers your Q whowhere <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
[This message has been edited by Girl-From-Mars (edited 26-09-2001).]
i have to confess that i did go on my ex's once. he was cheating on me though i was very insecure and wanted evidence.
i know you mean about feeling bad. ur heart just races and u go hot its not v. nice. @ least u have a conscience! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"> maybe in time she will forgive you.
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/flowerface.gif">
You don't need me to tell you this, but what you've done is going to make it difficult for her to trust you again. Saying you're sorry many times from the bottom of your heart is the most you can do to make things up, and it's good to let her know you are sorry - but unfortunately it's not going to make the hurt and betrayal she's feeling right now go away.
In time she may be able to forgive you or she may not. It's her decision and hopefully the strength of your friendship will bring you back together in the end, but there's nothing more you can do to influence it positively. All you can do now is give her time to come to terms with the hurt and begin to deal with it rationally.
I really do hope things that sometime in the future you'll be able to talk this out together and become friends again.
i think you're right about just giving it time now and hoping for the best. she knows im sorry at least <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
You have done everything right, you are clearly sorry like I was. I hope she forgives you although it will take alot longer for trust to be regained to what it was before, you seem to have the right sort of personality to accomplish this though. So good luck!
Oh and by the way glad you poppped back for a bit since I didn't really have a chance to get to know you before you left.
its not illegal til u get caught <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/monkbum.gif">
She told me about this a while back on MSN and is understandibly upset about it all.
I'm not going to go telling you about what you should or shouldn't of done because you can't change the past... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
As mentioned earlier these things take time to heal, she considered herself a close friend of yours and this incident made her feel as if she didn't know you as well as she could of. You coming on here asking for advice was a good move as it at least shows your trying to make-a-mends, things will take time but I'm sure she'll find someway in the near future in her heart to forgive you... but it may well take time to build up the trust element that was once so strong.
I wish you the very best and hope that things will work out, I'll try and speak with her as well and see if I can help in anyway. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
[This message has been edited by Justin Credible (edited 04-10-2001).]
it doesnt seem too bad at the mo. at least we're on livejournal commenting terms <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> i know it'll take time. i just didnt know what to do other than post this msg, i didnt know if there was something obvious that i could do that was missing... and i idnt know if she thought i was sorry or not or thought other things of me because of it. but i think it may have helped, a teensy bit <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
thanks everyone for not having a go at me, it really wouldnt have helped. even if you felt like saying something, im glad you didnt. not trying to pretend it wasnt a bad thing, i just know its not something i need every man and his dog telling me.
but yeah, anyway just another thanks really <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.