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Creepy or Romantic?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a problem I need help with. This is really for the women of the board.

I've known this girl for about 4 years and I'm in love with her. Problem is she has a boyfreind.

Despite this, she does want out with me. Her freinds are always teasing her about it and she once said that I was her fantasy.

I think she's stuck. She wants to dump her boyfreind but doesn't know how. Plus, last year I got a bit fed up of not knowing where I stood and we had an argument. So she thinks I hate her.

Now to my question - I heard her talking about the "International Star Registery" and how she would love a star to be named after her. Her boyfreind was going to do it but never.

Should I? I would do it anonymously. Would she see it as romantic or would it freak her out?

If you got up in the morning and that arrived, would you think it's creepy that someone knew your adress and did it or would you see it as romantic? I'm 99% sure that she would realise it was me.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww I think thats really sweet.
    I personally would not find that freaky baceuse its just so nice. Plus that fact that you said she would be 99% sure that it was you, why not? go for it, what have you got to lose?...(dont answer that, its may way of trying to back up my opinion...lol)

    good luck with it... <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="smile"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="smile"> Anyone else with a veiw on this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww thats soo sweet! If someone did that for me i'd be over the moon.... -sorry! that was awful! but yer. it's a lovely idea. go for it! I hope she deserves u <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="smile">xxxxhugsxxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think its a lovely idea mate go for it.

    but what would you call it? her exact, full name? a nick/pet name?
    i wouldnt know what to do since my gf hates her name. but nicknames wear out, despite giving a personal touch.
    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="smile"> <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that's really sad, a complete waste of money..sorry, but you did ask for opinions. Everyone is different though. I would think of all the other things you could buy for that amount of money other than a bit of meaningless paper. Send me the money instead!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats sweet!! I think she would totally love it. If she's wanted to breakup with her boyfriend why hasnt she? If i were you i would try to wait for her to breakup with him, cuz no one likes a homerecker. Then after she becomes single move on in and take her. <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would love to. But in a few months we leave Uni and I'll never see her again. This is probably my last chance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi i think its a really really cute idea and that you should grasp the chance now while you still can i mean ull kick yourself later wondering what if ?xxxxxconstantly confused
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GO FOR IT! I would be so amazingly happy if anyone were to do that for me when they knew it was something I wanted but hadnt got. Its one of the most romantic things i have ever heard, ur no freak m8 ur a sweetheart!

    ***faerie***
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it depends on the person - if she wanted a star then i think you should do it! i think its quite cute! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go for it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I did it. Mainly because of the positive reaction I got here. She'll probably get it this week. I hope she likes it as much as you seem to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please tell us what she thinks or what happens i think you duid the rite thing well done ......constantly confused xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I need more help now. She got it this week and when she came into my Uni class, her and her freinds were talking about it. They were jokingly asking some of the guys in the class if they did it.

    And since then, nothing has happened. She did like it, but she hasn't talked to me about it. It's like nothing has happened.

    And I now have even less time left before we leave.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well how about sending her a message saying you were responsible.

    Maybe 'you're the shining star in my life'.
    [sorry, shouldn't post while pissed <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> ]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Thefairmelissa:
    <STRONG>
    You've run the race, you might as well take the trouble to cross the finish line.</STRONG>

    EXACTLY. Well said Melissa! There's little point in leaving a job half done, and maybe, despite what you wrote earlier, she doesn't realise that you did it and so the ball is still really in your court. Or if she does know, maybe she needs to sort out stuff with her boyfriend first, before she makes any positive moves towards you. This could be the excuse she's been looking for.

    And if she does make a move/ reacts positively to finding out it was from you, go for it - the end of uni needn't necessarily be the breaking point. With typical Meryn-timing, last year I met my boyfriend 2 weeks before the Easter holidays of his final year, and we're still going strong, even though he's back in London (God, it's coming up for a year ago now <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">)

    Good luck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks. It's just one massive mess.

    I know she wants to split with her boyfreind and I know she wants out with me but everytime I think I'm getting close, nothing happens.
    It's like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. And this has been going on for 4 years.

    And I can't just ask her straight out how she feels. I did that before and she just acted really weird and said she didn't know what I was talking about.
    2 days later I heard her tell her freind that she didn't mean what she said and just got scared.

    That's the way it goes. She lets me know that she's interested, I do something to tell her how much I like her, then she gets scared and denies that she likes me. It's so frustrating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you tell her that it was you? How did she react?

    It may be best to just sit her down and try to talk about it again. If she starts denying it, why don't you tell her you overheard her conversation? You don't even need to mention that you overheard her saying she was scared, why not just ask her if she's afraid? And what of? Talking about it is probably the best thing for both of you, and you may be able to get some answers.

    Good luck.
    *hugs*
    Chin up!

    xx
    Nikki
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is going to make me sound even more desperate but yes I have written her a letter. It was in the first year that I met her. It was very short and just said how I felt.

    What happened? Absolutley nothing. She just talked to me like normal. When I did ask her about it, that's when we had the argument and she just lied to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay this is probably the last time I'll ask for advice on this because hopefully everything will be sorted after this.

    We are on Holiday right now for 3 weeks and can't decide what to do.

    1. Wait till we go back and then just confront her and ask her about it.

    or

    2. Write her a letter which she'll receive during the holidays.

    I can't decided because if I can't get her alone to talk to her and if I send her a letter she might just ignore it like before.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've done a really nice and 'soft' thing there, Personally I think your too soft in the head <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    You dont seem to have got a very positive reponce (shame you deserved one) and I think If you dont get a decent responce to this letter, I would cut my loses and move on!

    You are really sweet (I sound like a girl talking here <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> ) and I think you should find some one who will 'appreacate' your caring and SOo sweet manner it shows me up!

    Good luck charmer,
    Sensative male,
    and sweetie,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are not to soft or too sweet! Don't listen to Ibbow!!! ( <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> at Ibbow!) Somewhere there is a girl who will appreciate you, and you will find her. If this girl doesn't appreciate how much you care about her, then it is her problem. She is definitely interested in you, but obviously too scared to risk it, and dive it.

    When she loses you, she will realize what she's missed--her reactions to this have nothing to do with you, and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. This should make you feel better, but if you really do love her, then it won't. Speaking from experience here. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> But you need to remind yourself when you're down and missing her that you are a fantastic person and you deserve to be loved without reservation.

    It's not going to be easy to get over her, but if you don't get a positive response this time, you should start trying to. I think you should confront her. Letters obviously haven't worked before. Get it off your chest, and see what she says. Plus, a personal confrontation will give you chance to guage reactions. If she starts to withdraw from you and starts blanking you, that's an indication that it's not worth your time. You deserve better than that after the lengths you've gone to try and show this girl that you care about her.

    Good luck, and chin up. We're here to chat when you need us.

    xx
    Nikki
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah good luck mate lets hope her boyfriend dont mind too much!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, but I'm not worried about him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel like I don't want to live any more.

    A few weeks ago one of her friends told me that she wasn't sure if the star was from me. I told her to tell her and she did. She told me that this girl seemed really pleased.

    Today I decided to talk to her about everything for the last time. She denied everything again. She just kept saying "I don't know where you are getting this from". So I gave her examples of things that she's said or things that I've heard her friends say. She denied it. I just asked her what she was scared of and if it was because she had a boyfriend. She said "yes I have a boyfriend and I love him very much".

    I told her that I knew that wasn't true as I'd heard her say that she was trying to finish with him and how she had to get drunk to enjoy sex with him. She seemed quite shocked about this and said "I've never said a bad word about him in my life". More lies. Then she stormed off.

    I then went away for the day but when I got back into class her friend told me that she was hysterical and sat in the toilet crying for hours. I felt terrible and her friend got us together to talk about it.

    She was REALLY hatefull towards me. She said that I needed help and that I was making stuff up. I again told her about things I knew were going on and she didn't have an answer for any of them. She just said things like "I don't remember" or "I never said that". We agreed to be friends.

    I have no idea what I'm going to do. This is the girl I love, the one I was meant to be with and for four years I've thought of nothing but her. And now it's never going to happen. I really need help. I've never been this depressed and I can't get over her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let it calm for a while. you should have said that about her boyfriend though!!!

    Give her some time then just go to her being friends. Say you're sorry and yes you do like her but you understand he's happy with her boyfriend. Get on her good side again!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why shouldn't I have said that about her boyfriend? Was it the wrong thing to do?

    I honestly think I'm going mad. I've been asking her friends and my friends about things I've heard them say and they all don't know what I'm talking about. There is NO WAY that I've just imagined that she liked me. I keep a journal and in it I've written things that have happened. I read it now and it's obvious from what's happened before that she likes me. Why is she denying it?

    In about 3 weeks I'll never see her again and I'm so scared because I don't know what I'll do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm going to be blunt here, I think that you should cut your losses, you seem like a very nice guy and to be frank I don't think that this girl is the one you're mant to be with. I think you've just become obsessed with someone you can't have, you've built up an image of who she is that isn't reality.
    I bought a star for my ex and she loved it and she hadn't even expressed a prior wish for one, so if this girl doesn't appreciate it then you deserve someone better!
    Please don't take this the worng way, I understand how you feel and what I say might not help or be what you want to hear but from what you've said I don't think this is going to have the happy outcome you want if you keep on trying to change her mind.
    Maybe just letting things cool down and going out with your mates, possibly meeting other girls might make her realise you are a decent guy (but not obsessive), it might also open your eyes to the fact that there are plenty of great girls out there who would love to have a bf like you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've really thought about that. Even when I heard her say that I was her fantasy I kept thinking "no, I must have the wrong idea". But I know I haven't.

    I've tried to stay away from her before but then she'll say something or do something to let me know she likes me.
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