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Is my mum being unfair?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically my mum said to me that she will no longer lend me anymore money and that I have to get a job (which I have been trying to do for ages). She won't even lend me any if I want to go out (which isn't very much). I think she is being unfair because I am trying really really hard to get a job but I just can't seem to get one plus I help her round the house so I think it is unfair her not lending me money. Do you guys think it is unfair or is it just me? :confused:
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well how old are you, and are you at college/school or anything? It's no good borrowing money off your mum if you have no means of paying it back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am 17 and I am at college.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, there's no reason why you shouldn't have a job - okay, so you're trying and there's not much more you can do. but you can keep trying and not give up. back to what i said in my other post, how can you pay your mum back if you're not bringing in any money? i'd hate to have to rely on my mum, but there's still the odd time where i do need to borrow £10 or something. i've always had jobs; paper rounds from the ages of 13-16 and then a post office job and now i've had the part time job i've got now since i was 16 and i'm 19 now. i'm guessing you've sent your CV to places, and maybe even been to the job centre?

    oh, and in answer to your question, yes; i think your mum's being fair.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hardly ever borrow money from my mum though. Plus do you think it is fair that my younger sister who is 16 gets money willy nilly from my mum to go and stuff and never gets made to look for a job? Plus she never even helps my mum out. So is that fair then?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well now she's 16, your sister could get a job. so i guess in a way that's not fair. but i'm guessing she's just finished her gcse's?

    instead of thinking how unfair it is, go out and find a job - then you'll have more money than your sister and you won't have yo ask your mum for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are jobs out there if you really want one. Try phonin round the places and asking why they havent got back to you or why you didnt get the job.

    Your mum is being fair.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Aspartame
    Life isn't fair.

    Damn right.

    Have you tried asking her if there are any extra jobs you could do for her for a couple of quid until you find a job?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd say its unfair! although maybe thats because my only source of income for the past 6months has been my parents.

    maybe try harder getting a job, let her see you're making a real effort. and promise that you will pay the money back. perhaps actually writing it down as an I.O.U.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have tried to find a job, I have applied to ads, gone on a job website, been to the job centre and taken my CV around, still nothing and she can see that I am trying very hard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Lisa*
    There are jobs out there if you really want one

    :yes: Places like Tescos, McDonalds etc always need staff and are hardly difficult to get a job at....maybe you're just too picky what jobs you're going for. At 17 your mum doesn't have to give you money.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tried places like BHS, Primark and loadsa other shops.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :crying:

    Yes, I think she is being fair. Obviously you're used to her lending yo umoney whenever you want yes? So why is it unfair she's doing the same for your sister? And it isn't called 'lending' when you haven't any means of paying it back is it?

    I think she is being fair. My parents haven't given me anything since I was 16 and I worked. I'd rather have my own money and see my parents happy spending what little they have of their own after they pay all the bills! I'm 20 and still live in their house even though I have a job. I pay £40 a month which is peanuts compared to what my friends give their parents.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK OK point made *shuts up now*. but what am I ment to do untill i get a job? Can't do anything without any money.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *lil~miss*
    OK OK point made *shuts up now*. but what am I ment to do untill i get a job? Can't do anything without any money.
    Offer to do jobs around the house? Become a hermit? Erm... I know we were harsh but I've been in your position. I was lucky I could sweet talk my dad sometimes but I soon got a job 'cos I was that desperate for cash!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lipsy
    i'd say its unfair! although maybe thats because my only source of income for the past 6months has been my parents.
    I agree. Though make that, the last 18 years for me... ;)

    Seriously though, I do think it's unfair. Though I guess it all depends on the priotities of the family.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    :yes: Places like Tescos always need staff and are hardly difficult to get a job at....

    :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *lil~miss*
    OK OK point made *shuts up now*. but what am I ment to do untill i get a job? Can't do anything without any money.

    well if you are going out with some friends ask if one or two of them will borrow you the cash you need to hang out with them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper

    Seriously though, I do think it's unfair. Though I guess it all depends on the priotities of the family.
    Why is it unfair?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your mama's being perfectly fair! I'm recently 17, I've had a job since I turned 16 in Debenhams, and since I was 11 I've done cleaning jobs and helped my brother do a paper round. I'm also at college full time! I know your sis is still sponging off mama, but so does my brother...and he's 21 so I used to consider it unfair that I've only ever lent off my parents if I needed to and I paid them back in full quickly after. My brother brings in a great salary and still manages to sponge about £50 a week off my parents at least, and he's meant to be paying them back for a couple thousand that got him into a debt a while back. Getting a job now and not being so reliant on your mothers purse is just gonna come in good practice with looking after your money properly in the future, so you don't turn out like my bro where you just rely on mum and dad to bail you out and always give in. And also, I'd be a bit peeved if I was working for money only to give it to someone else so they can go out and enjoy themselves on it so I think your mama's been kind up until now, but it'd do you good to get a job! Plus if you had your own income, when you wer forced to ask for some, I know from experience my parents would willingly let me borrow cash, merely because I so rarely ask for it and don't cause them any money problems!

    Maybe you're giving the wrong impression when applying for a job. Debs was the first interviw I've been to and I got that, and I know many of my friends have gone through a number of jobs, there are plenty around! You just have to ensure there are vacancies and that when you are in a job interview, your dressed good and your talking politely and talking positivly!

    P.s. I don't mean to sound bitchy in that first paragraph. It's just I'm pretty much in the same situation as you are with college and age and money stuff!

    Anyway! Tarra!! xxx:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *lil~miss*
    Tried places like BHS, Primark and loadsa other shops.

    well, what do you do when you apply to these places? i find that sending a cv is the best option, then they will send you an application form/keep you on their records. if you're going in shops asking if they have any jobs, i think it'd be best to go on your own i.e. not with a group of friends and dress smartly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Why is it unfair?

    Maybe unfair is the wrong word. I just think it's a bitch if one's parents don't ackowledge the fact that you're young and want to enjoy yourself. If she really doesn't ask for money every other day, then I do think that it's legitimate to get money for going out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lucifer devil
    :crying:

    I've worked on checkouts so I'm not just being mean! But I'm sorry even a complete idiot can get a job in a supermarket :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper
    Maybe unfair is the wrong word. I just think it's a bitch if one's parents don't ackowledge the fact that you're young and want to enjoy yourself. If she really doesn't ask for money every other day, then I do think that it's legitimate to get money for going out.

    Yeah but if you're young and want to enjoy yourself you'd work your ass off to get a job. Why should her parents pay for her to go out and have a good time?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Lisa*
    Yeah but if you're young and want to enjoy yourself you'd work your ass off to get a job. Why should her parents pay for her to go out and have a good time?

    Cause if they have the means, then surely they didn't bring her to the world, so she could sit in her room crying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper
    Cause if they have the means, then surely they didn't bring her to the world, so she could sit in her room crying.

    Maybe her parents cant afford to give her money anymore? Her parents have given her money in the past but they dont see why they should anymore. She has been 'trying' to get a job for months. Like I said, jobs are out there. Even it ifs shit pay. She just needs to try harder.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even if my mum offered me money, I'd still much rather earn it myself. It feels so much more satisfying spending money I've earned than spending money my mum's earned and I've had to borrow.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    I've worked on checkouts so I'm not just being mean! But I'm sorry even a complete idiot can get a job in a supermarket :p

    True, there are some right sorts where I work! But I like to think I got the job 'cause I had the right skills and what not. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Lisa*
    Maybe her parents cant afford to give her money anymore? Her parents have given her money in the past but they dont see why they should anymore. She has been 'trying' to get a job for months. Like I said, jobs are out there. Even it ifs shit pay. She just needs to try harder.

    I did say if they had the means...
    Either way, say she isn't good at calculating, then surely she can't sit behind a cash-register. And that's a zillion of jobs out the window.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper
    I did say if they had the means...
    Either way, say she isn't good at calculating, then surely she can't sit behind a cash-register. And that's a zillion of jobs out the window.

    I'm rubbish at maths, believe me you don't need to be good at maths to work in a shop/on a checkout. Most tills do the calculating for you, all you have to do is count the change.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper
    I did say if they had the means...

    Fair enough. :p
    Originally posted by Jacqueline the Ripper
    Either way, say she isn't good at calculating, then surely she can't sit behind a cash-register. And that's a zillion of jobs out the window.

    No, the cash till do everything for you now. You press the amount on the till and it tells you how much to give change, it isnt hard to count money.
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