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need you guys to decipher this....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey guys,

haven't posted a topic in here for ages, as things have been okay. however, need to call on your help...

for all those who are not familiar with my situation, the bloke i am 'seeing' got deployed in the UK's mission against terrorism in february and i haven't seen him since then. we parted on good terms, arranging to do something the next weekend, but then he got called up on very short notice, and i didn't get a chance to say good bye to him.

anyway, he sent me an email about a month after he left, saying i wasn't to wait for him, as he didn't think it was fair. i sent him a reply saying i would, but didn't get any reply until i got a letter from him a couple of weeks ago, just saying hi, and hope everything was going okay for me at uni.

thing is about a couple of months after i first met him, he told me that he loved me. i was taken aback, and told him it was too soon, but he kept saying that he was falling for me. things were okay, and we were doing fine, really enjoying being with each other, until he got called away, and wrote that email saying he didn't want me to wait.

okay, here's the real problem. he called me out of the blue last night. i was really surprised, and was so happy to hear from him after 3 months. anyway, we were chatting, and i said to him that i would wait for him. then i told him that i loved him. he just said 'i know you do', but that we would have to see how things were when he got back. i was quite hurt by this, but he said he couldn't talk as all his colleagues were there (fair play). he did say that he wasn't trying to get rid of me, just that we would have to see how things panned out. then we were just chatting, and we were okay again. he told me that he missed me heaps, and has been thinking about me all the time. he said he can't wait until he gets back, and that we have to meet up.

so guys, answers on a postcard. am very confused, and haven't been able to concentrate all day. please help me, this is doing my head in. any suggestions would be welcomed.

thanks guys

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only reason he didnt say he loved you when you told him that you did was due to the fact that his mates were around.

    Most guys are like this, they dont want to get the onslaught of piss taking(believe me it happens)if there mates here them saying it. Sad I know but am sure he does really love you lots, and if he thinks about you everyday and says he is missins you am sure he still does.

    Chill winston, am sure everything will be peachy when he comes back <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wuckFit:
    <STRONG>The only reason he didnt say he loved you when you told him that you did was due to the fact that his mates were around.

    Most guys are like this, they dont want to get the onslaught of piss taking(believe me it happens)if there mates here them saying it. Sad I know but am sure he does really love you lots, and if he thinks about you everyday and says he is missins you am sure he still does.

    Chill winston, am sure everything will be peachy when he comes back <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"></STRONG>

    You think?? See i know guys are allergic to saying it to you, but the thing that gets me is when he writes an email or letter he doesn't even write it. it's a 'take care' or 'keep smiling' at the end. Am i reading too much into this..?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe it's just not his thing to say it or something.

    Plus, with the piss-taking thing, although I think people should speak their minds in front of anyone, like I tell my mam I love her on the phone even if all my mates are there, and I blow kisses, even though I get made fun of <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    But then again, it's the army, and I suppose if he needs respect then he doesn't everyone taking the piss, even if they are joking.

    Don't worry, he'll be back soon and hopefully you'll get it all sorted. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Good luck!

    LOVE,

    Phil <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we were talking again today, and i think everything is okay. he sent me a message at 5am our time to say good luck for my exam, which i thought was sweet.

    and he's being all 'double entendre' boy, so i guess that means he's back on form. he's still not brought it up again, so i don't know what that means.

    anyway thanks for the opinions. keep them coming. us girls need all the help we can get when it comes to deciphering the male mind!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by emmex:
    <STRONG>hey guys,

    haven't posted a topic in here for ages, as things have been okay. however, need to call on your help...

    for all those who are not familiar with my situation, the bloke i am 'seeing' got deployed in the UK's mission against terrorism in february and i haven't seen him since then. we parted on good terms, arranging to do something the next weekend, but then he got called up on very short notice, and i didn't get a chance to say good bye to him.

    anyway, he sent me an email about a month after he left, saying i wasn't to wait for him, as he didn't think it was fair. i sent him a reply saying i would, but didn't get any reply until i got a letter from him a couple of weeks ago, just saying hi, and hope everything was going okay for me at uni.

    thing is about a couple of months after i first met him, he told me that he loved me. i was taken aback, and told him it was too soon, but he kept saying that he was falling for me. things were okay, and we were doing fine, really enjoying being with each other, until he got called away, and wrote that email saying he didn't want me to wait.

    okay, here's the real problem. he called me out of the blue last night. i was really surprised, and was so happy to hear from him after 3 months. anyway, we were chatting, and i said to him that i would wait for him. then i told him that i loved him. he just said 'i know you do', but that we would have to see how things were when he got back. i was quite hurt by this, but he said he couldn't talk as all his colleagues were there (fair play). he did say that he wasn't trying to get rid of me, just that we would have to see how things panned out. then we were just chatting, and we were okay again. he told me that he missed me heaps, and has been thinking about me all the time. he said he can't wait until he gets back, and that we have to meet up.

    so guys, answers on a postcard. am very confused, and haven't been able to concentrate all day. please help me, this is doing my head in. any suggestions would be welcomed.

    thanks guys</STRONG>


    I know the feeling. its not nice. wanna join me for a sulk? (looks for sulking smily....disappointed)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does it really matter that he didnt say "i love you"? Is that wat its all about? Is'nt a relationship about caring and understandin, not about i love u's but knowing that you both will always be there 4 eachother <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> take care of eachother and urself :P how corney

    xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay i'm not going to say what i really think just yet, but its strange how he has already told you he loves you before hand
    he told me that he loved me

    Yet now he not saying it. I wouldn't worry to much about it. Bringing the subject up may end up in a fight and that's the last thing you want

    try explain your feeling in an e-mail or letter, try and get across how your feeling. I'm sure its nothing and your reading to much into it. You girls do that alot.
    Does it really matter that he didnt say "i love you"? Is that wat its all about?

    Think these 3 little words can make a girls week or month, plus it make them feel safe and wanted and its quite a big thing to say(Or it should be).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless:
    <STRONG>Okay i'm not going to say what i really think just yet</STRONG>

    So what do you really think???
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry but he's not interested. Please try and move on with your life while he's away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by barbie:
    <STRONG>Sorry but he's not interested. Please try and move on with your life while he's away.</STRONG>

    Wow, swing and a miss for the newbie... Just spoke to him, and everything is cool. He says he can't wait to see me when he gets back, and that he's just stressed what with all the stuff happening out there.

    Cheers for all your help tho!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you've got to remember that he is fighting in wat could turn out to be a very deadly war.
    He probably said "i know you do" because he is too scared to say it back in case something happens. How would you feel, if the love of your life goes away, and you never hear from him again?
    This is the same thing, he is trying to put you off, tryng to make you think about moving on with your life while he is away. If he knows that you love him it will make his life, and yours a lot more difficult, and possibly painful if something happens.

    By telling you to wait and see what happens is the best thing he can say in his situation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he doesn't say it in his emails etc., because he doesn't want you to wait around for him, (as you said), and by saying 'I love you' would obviously make it harder for you to do so...
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