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CHATROOM RELATIONSHIPS

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My 19 year old son who is shy and has problems relating to the opposite sex has resorted to using internet chatrooms for friendship. He met some girls who were at college like him and exchanged mobile numbers, letters, photos etc. It gave him at bit more confidence and I thought with a bit more encouragement he would go out more with his friends and chat to girls his own age. BUT Recently he has started a relationship in a chatroom with a woman he told me was 26 , at college and living at home with her parents. I discovered she was 36, married with 3 children,which he admitted he knew, they intend to meet and spend the weekends together( for which she is paying). I have spoken to her and she says she has no feelings for her husband who is disabled and 14 years older than her.She wants to escape from reality with my son. He thinks he is in love with her.He spends every waking moment on the internet or mobile phone , his college work is suffering and all we do is argue about it. He is 19 and therefore an adult , I cant control his life, as he points out its his decision. Do I just give him a packet of condoms and wait for the dust to settle? Anyone got any advice?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate to say it, but I dont think you should be dealing in his private life like you were with the college girls.

    First off, this woman isn't called janine, is she? *is gonna get blasted for that* i'm honestly not trying to be rude, it just sorta sounds like her. :/ *is still gonna get blasted*

    Second, I agree that your son may not be on the right road. But you do seem somewhat protective of him, and I don't think that helps his confidence. Certainly in my position, if I had my father do everything for me, it wouldn't allow me to build myself as a person and take responsibility for my own actions, to learn from my mistakes. Because of that, I would suggest that the best recourse would to sit him down, say that you are worried about where he is going, and would like him to take serious consideration of a few thoughts you've had.

    If he chooses to ignore you, so be it. Like you said, he's 19 and should be allowed to make his own mistakes. If he heeds your advice, or listens to your concerns, whichever, then, again, so be it. A small victory for you.

    My only other concern, connected with you dealing in his love life, is the amount of privacy he has. You seem to know an awful lot about this woman. If this is all information that he has volunteered to you, and if you have acted with his permission (in meeting this woman), then I guess it's okayish.

    On the other hand, if you acted behind his back, albeit what you regarded as his best interests - well, I imagine he would be less than happy.

    Anyways, hope some of this helped. Be careful, by the sounds of things the last thing your son needs is someone else to fuck him life up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nah, Janine deserves it!

    "Men rarely, if ever, manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the
    morals of spoilt children." Robert A. Heinlein
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you know for a guy with a 2000 word essay due in soon, u really do have too much time on ur nads.

    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive got way too much time on my nads. I can rack a 2000 word essay out in three hours, but I cant be arsed now.

    And in exactl;y the same way Im too ill to drink <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; *wants sympathy*

    "Men rarely, if ever, manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the
    morals of spoilt children." Robert A. Heinlein
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    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    *is duly amused*

    unfortunately, i have to agree with turtle. he's given good advice for once.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    *is duly amused*

    unfortunately, i have to agree with turtle. he's given good advice for once.

    *screams and runs away*


    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/tdo13.gif"&gt;

    sometimes you've just got to keep going....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't believe some of you people have left over 4000 messages on here!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    some = 2.

    and yes, we're sad. but hey, guess we just got a lot of good advice to share.

    ok, i lied. she has a lot good advice to share.

    The ignorance is mind numbing
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