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Heads Messed Up anyone any ideas?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, I'm 19 and a single mum I'm happy with my life............well most of it! This bloke that i kinda with once 4 months (and now nearly every weekend) is really doing my head in, i dont talk to him until i have had a couple of drinks and he knows i like him alot more than just once a week. But he wont get into anything with me because he has a son with his ex and has to keep her sweet so he can see his son..........is he just using his son and ex thing as an excuse and using me or is he being geniune!
If he was my age i would understand but he is 28 and it just confuses me <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to this man while sober & find out what's really going on. If you're high enough amongst his priorities, he would sort out the situation with his ex in order to make some kind of committment to you. If he is unwilling to do this, you need to move on and find yourself a better man.

    [ 21-05-2002: Message edited by: KinkyRed ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know i need to do that.......the thing is i know deep down inside if i push him into talking with me bout it i might end up with out even being mates with him. I'm not sure really whether to just face up to it all and say no to everything, but when i do sayno to goin back to his he does end up being funny with me for the rest of the night. Maybe i should just be happy that i am being used in a sense coz really i am using him aswell. <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I'm going away for the week soon so i could use that time to really consider if i do actually care about him or if i am as shallow as him and just using him for sex
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i sympathise, but u gotta realise his ex will always have a hold on him as regards the kid which could sorta be behind your problem
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by s3xk1tt3n:
    <STRONG>I know i need to do that.......the thing is i know deep down inside if i push him into talking with me bout it i might end up with out even being mates with him. I'm not sure really whether to just face up to it all and say no to everything, but when i do sayno to goin back to his he does end up being funny with me for the rest of the night. Maybe i should just be happy that i am being used in a sense coz really i am using him aswell. <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I'm going away for the week soon so i could use that time to really consider if i do actually care about him or if i am as shallow as him and just using him for sex</STRONG>

    If he has good intentions then you won't end up without him just because you talked.

    If he has bad intentions, you are better of without him anyway.

    Therefore you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, from talking to him properly, sensibly, sober, and at length.

    My feeling is that your suspicion is correct (otherwise you wouldn't voice the suspicion that you obviously dread to think of) and he's probably using you.

    That doesn't always mean he won't stop if you make him choose between being honest and fair, or being alone.
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